


Checkmate

by QueenRisa



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Aged Up, Angst, Chess Game, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Guessing game, Mystery, Romance, Texting relationship, and some tears, cat and mouse sort of play, coffee shop AU, fluff and romance that will leave you with a smile, hidden identity, reveal chapter, who is it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2020-07-11 11:50:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 78,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19927609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenRisa/pseuds/QueenRisa
Summary: Everyday Usagi moves a chess piece and the next day, someone else always moves another. Who is she playing against?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: One of my more recent stories and of course my first (probably only attempt) at a mystery sort of fic. It's full of twists and turns and I've grown to like this fic so I hope you enjoy reading and the quality of writing does improve with each chapter lol
> 
> This story was also based on a prompt from Tumblr and it was: "at the local coffee shop, there's a chess set set up in one corner of the shop and every morning i move one piece. later in the day, someone else always moves a piece too. i'm dying to know who i'm playing against." I tweaked it a little tho, ha!
> 
> Enjoy and tell me what you thought!!

**Chapter One**

"I hate grad school, it's like the ninth circle of freaking hell!"

"Usagi relax-"

"I will not relax! I will never relax until I get the damn Master's degree that I need!"

Rei snorted into her coffee mug, "Well if you keep going in the same way you are now, that might be in the next 10 years."

"Rei! That's not helping any!"

"And Usa, you really need to calm yourself," Minako chimed in, sipping at her mocha, "You're stressing me out about your stressors and I have enough stressors to stress about so I don't need your stressors adding onto my own stressors. You see what I'm stressing here?"

Usagi grew bewildered, her eyes darting this way and that trying to flesh out the sentence. "Uh, y-yea."

"Okay good, moving on from your problems," the golden blonde finalized, taking a sip of her drink. "Plus you for sure will pass your classes. I mean not well but you'll pass."

"Oh yea, totally," Rei agreed with a nod of her dark-haired head. "Odango here will just get over the failing line and into passing freedom. Just barely but she will."

The said failing blonde let her head slam onto their table. "You know I really wish Ami and Mako could have made it because they seem to be a whole lot more pep-talky then you guys."

Both the blonde and dark-head across from her gasped. "We're hurt," they said in unison.

Finally the pig-tailed blonde's name was called out from the counter, the sound being able to slice through the loud conversations happening in the busy coffee shop and reaching her ears. The addict of coffee briskly left her table of friends to kiss the barista who had made her latte in such a speedy time.

With merely a look of thanks that included a big smile and kind eyes to the tall man, Usagi swiped the cup from the wooden counter, trekking past jittery people in line to get back to her talking friends. She just barely caught the next topic change: Minako's upcoming wedding.

She sat down with giddy as her blonde 'twin' began her spiel of how her dress shopping was going. "Ohhhh yes, shopping and clothes I can talk about!"

"Well obviously," Minako rolled her eyes playfully. "Who couldn't? But anyway I think I'm going shopping again on Saturday so what you guys say? Another fabulous episode of shopping with the gang?"

Rei was already checking and confirming her busy schedule while Usagi frowned even more. "I can't. I have a huge test that day guys. I can't fail or else the devil will drop me."

"Professor Shiro isn't that mean, you're complaining about a man in his 80s for god sakes Odango!"

"You sure?! I swear he was 120. Thought I saw a picture of him in World War I…"

Rei massaged the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes, "Usagi…"

"No Rei! I was nothing but nice, as usual, to him all year and all I got was some snooty comments and dirty looks as if I killed his damn cat!"

Minako gave her a look, "Well you almost did-"

"Who the hell brings their cat to campus in the first place?! And how the heck am I supposed to see the thing in the road while I'm driving?! And furthermore, he's a bad pet owner for letting the thing run free!" Taking a more than aggressive swig of her latte, the normally cool headed blonde let fume steam out of her ears.

"Mannnn…," Minako drawled out, "You really need to get out more. I can just see all your auras just"- she made her hand imitate an explosion -"everywhere."

"Thanks Mina," Usagi dryly replied, setting down her foam cup. "I just guess everything's been going wrong for me."

"Oh honey," Rei rested her hand on Usagi's, "The guy was a jerk and didn't deserve you."

The blonde half-laughed with a somber look on her face. "Apparently he deserved two other girls. Five times."

Minako threw her hands up with a look of disbelief, "I told you I can make it look like an accident Usagi! Just lend me 7,500 yen and it's a done deal. You can even add extras like they can slice off his-"

"Minako!"

"-finger," her head cocked to the dark-haired woman in a pantsuit. "What did you think I was going to say?"

Rei shook her head. "Nothing."

A shrill noise made them all jump in their chairs as Minako fumbled with her designer purse, rummaging around to find her ringing phone. After finally finding it with a "AHA", the bubbly blonde packed her things, saying there was a huge dispute at her job over which fabric to use for the upcoming fall line, and quickly farewell as she half-jogged in her orange stilettos to the front door.

Even Rei eventually left too; she has a new trial coming up in the next few weeks that has to go through the Police Chief.

So once they promised to meet again next week, agreeing on a time and place, Usagi watched her friend's back as she left through the double doors of the hip and trendy coffee shop.

The twenty-four year old propped her head up with her hand, bringing her cup to her lips with the other, and observed the usual customers to fill her boredom: the gaggle of high-school girls ordering iced drinks, an attractive businessman chugging his black coffee, a man in his 50s scanning the menu board with squinted eyes, the irritated coffee addicts waiting impatiently in line.

The coffee shop had been one she had been going to for a few years, since her freshman year of university if she recalled correctly. She had grown up with some of the regulars at the shop, even some employees who had stuck around long enough.

Her sapphire eyes took the time to appreciate the familiar homey and boho-chic atmosphere of the establishment: chalkboards placed everywhere advertising new drinks and sales, wood paneling mixed with metal, tall wooden tables with metal stools, the open upstairs that housed a small balcony, polished wood flooring, little figurines and statues of animals resting at every open space…

It was so familiar and she closed her eyes to smell the amazing scent of her one true love: coffee. And probably her only love in life.

Usagi's eyes flew open and a face of disgust crossed her features. Love was something she always failed in and the last relationship was no exception unfortunately. All her friends were all happy and full with their lives; two already married, one was engaged, and Rei was in a longtime relationship.

They all even had their lives figured out while she was still stuck in freaking grad school trying to accomplish her masters degree in sociology. ( _'Usagi sweetie you really should go back to school to exceed at social work!'_ ) She was a lost bunny in school.

….And love. The hopeless romantic always had no one. All. The. Time.

Birthday party? No plus one. Wedding? Singles table. Valentine's Day? Impatient waiting of the next day for the discounted chocolate.

The frowning blue-eyed woman shook her head. _'Eck, you know what? I like being single! Less stress and I live my life free especially since I'm still young.'_

Of course, as if the fates were toying with her, Usagi's eyes landed on the next customers in line, a husband and wife apparently, the gorgeous woman cuddling her swollen stomach.

Her heart leaped, the edges of her mouth contorting into more of a sad frown than an angered one. She wanted a family and love, that was no question but somehow all the love stories she always heard from friends and families about finding their soulmates, she wondered if one day she will ever get the opportunity to share the same whimsical tales.

But the long string of failed relationships wasn't exactly good material to put on a dating profile.

With a long sigh, Usagi grabbed her bag from the floor and grasped the to-go cup in the other manicured hand, standing up from her table in the bustling shop full of coffee frantic citizens. But something made her pause.

The chess board set up on the lone table in the back of the shop, squashed in the corner. You could practically see the spider webs and dust scattered on it but nevertheless the curious blonde sauntered to it with interest.

The first years she came here, elderly men would always sit at the table, playing numerous matches of the legendary game but overtime, the coffee shop drew to a more younger audience so they slowly came less and less. The teens and college students who started coming were far more invested in their smartphones and never bothered to show interest in the classic game board.

Usagi smiled down at the white and black checkered board, the small pieces situated on both sides and the thin wooden container that would hold the captured pieces.

Remembering the numerous competitions and lessons Ami always did back in their teenage years, the blonde stretched out her pointer finger and slid a white chess piece to an empty square.

Her blue-haired friend used to drill into her head how each move you do was like a new move in life; you had to calculate it and everything affects you or the people around you in some way.

Usagi may say that chess was something she didn't exactly hate (her favorite part was yelling out 'checkmate!' and Ami always telling her that it wasn't a checkmate yet) but it was something that she always admired, the psychology Ami had put on it making her hopeful.

Maybe with the mere move of the chess piece, her life will be affected too, for the better if she's lucky.

Another wistful smile to the dusty board, Usagi walked to the door and left the shop.

* * *

_"Ms. Tsukino, how can you be so irresponsible in forgetting your rescheduled test! I never ever had such a careless student in my classes, never ev-"_

Usagi sprinted through the streets of busy Tokyo, nearing Tokyo University, her papers and notebooks fruitlessly being plunged into her backpack as the sound of her professor's soon-to-be words echoed in her scrambled mind.

_'Stupid alarm clock that glitches out on the biggest days of my life!'_ Her sneakers were blurs as they hit the pavement of the sidewalk. She had to make it to the test and was sure the only excuse that Professor Shiro would accept was her death.

So when she saw the coffee shop sign up ahead, the dark-circled, sleep deprived blonde nearly performed somersaults.

Entering the much warmer setting, Usagi tugged at her over-sized Tokyo-U sweatshirt to gather more protection and heat from the colder temperatures of autumn that kept wafting into the shop because of the doors.

Standing in line she flipped open her notebook, scanning the facts and notes into her mind, praying that she would at least get a pass on the test today. She bit her lip looking over the lines and lines of her chicken-scratch writing, flicking her bed head hair behind her ear.

She snapped her notes shut as she came up to the counter, barely giving the barista a glance as she was already busy with rummaging for her wallet. Mindlessly ordering her usual and giving her name, Usagi hastily dropped the yen into his outstretched hand, a little flushed at the fact the bills were crumpled and messy.

Averting her eyes, she whipped open her notebook again, studying the last bits of information she needed. It was hopeless, Shiro's notes were a mess and all over the place! Even through her writing, his facts still were horrible and not at all helpful.

_"It's an easy subject and these tests should be easy in my opinion"- 'YEA THAT'S BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE ANSWERS AND YOU STUDIED THESE THINGS FOR LIKE TWENTY YEARS! I'M A FREAKING GRAD STUDENT TRYING TO GET HER MASTERS EVEN THOUGH SHE NEARLY FAILED BOTH UNIVERSITY AND HIGH SCHOOL!'_

"Tsukino Usagi!"

With a grateful smile, the frantic blonde snatched the cup away from her usual barista guy's hand and had already turned when something, _the same something_ , caught her eye.

It was the chess board again.

But her lips parted a little and her eyes widened to basketballs. She thought it was a trick of the mind, or maybe the sleep deprivation or the stress, maybe it was just an accident? But it was too clear to mean an accident. It was precise and calculated.

And even as her wrist watch buzzed alerting her to the test time beginning, Usagi couldn't stop her staring of the playing board. Something had been changed.

There was _two_ pieces moved now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyday Usagi moves a chess piece and the next day, someone else always moves another. Who is she playing against?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Second Chapter is a go!! Enjoy and tell me what you thought!!

**Chapter Two**

_The next day..._

She felt insane, just watching the damn chess board from across the room. Her eyes never leaving it, even as her bubbly blonde friend babbled on to her. She couldn't look away from it for _one second_ , in fear of something else changing on the board without her knowledge.

Maybe some passerby just knocked into the table by accident, causing the black chess piece to move but it was dead in the center of the square. It was done on purpose. It had too, she kn-

"USGAI!"

"What?!" The table jostled, along with their hot beverages, as the determined blonde was ripped away from her mind. "Did I miss an important wedding detail?"

"Well if you did, you wouldn't have noticed anyway!"

Usagi sighed and closed her eyes in shame, bowing her golden head. "I'm sorry Minako, I was just…" In a discreet action, she glanced at the chessboard again.

Noticing the direction of her friend's sight though, the red-ribboned blonde sighed and slammed her head into her hand. "Not this again…"

And that's all it took. "Minako I'm telling you someone-"

"-hit the edge of that dusty old table and a chess piece moved," Minako cut in, "We've been over this!"

"No we haven't! You just told me I'm looking too much into it and moved on! You've been over this, I haven't! I'm still…... _under it!_ "

"Usagi…"

"Minako I'm just saying maybe someone saw me move a piece and decided to move one too, like maybe they want to begin a game or something? Maybe it's a guy and he's trying to be cute?! I don't know!"

"Usa, honey. See, this is why you should stop reading shoujo manga, you're going too far with simple coincidences and making it into some big, star-crossed romance adventure! They're getting old."

"I don't do that!"

"Yes you do!"

Usagi crossed her arms against her chest, a challenging glint in her eyes, "Name one time besides now."

"Well let's start our journey in middle school shall we?," Minako rose a hand, eyes to the ceiling in deep thought. "There was that one time in the second year when you believed that Akio Tuki had given you a love letter and you tried to kiss him but in reality it was just his homework that he wanted you to do. Then it was thinking that the captain of the boys volleyball team was checking you out but in reality, it was because a roll of toilet paper was stuck to your shoe. Then it was your obsession with that one anime superhero who you believed was real, then it was when you wore that one white sundress but it was a rainy day and every single guy was looking at you and you thought it was because you looked pretty, and then there was that time when you took that 2 hour bus to Hiroshima to talk to your pen pal, _your supposedly true love,_ who turned out to be a 90-year-old woman looking for a friend to talk to, and-

"I GET IT!"

Minako had already risen five slender fingers in the air with Usagi baring her teeth and digging her nails into the oak table, fire spitting out of her eyes. The fashionable twenty-three year old sighed and gave the red faced blonde a withering look, "Oh come on, I didn't even get to high school yet Usa! Like that one time you thought Yukon gave you a balloon wrapper but it was actually a condom-"

"Okay, okay, okay! So I'm a little bit of a hopeless romantic-"

" _A little_?"

"-ANYWAY! I can feel it in my gut that there's something up with this time!"

"What's different?! Because now that you're distracted with this wild duck chase-"

" _Goose chase_ Minako."

" _Whatever flying water bird chase_ , now that you're distracted with this, you're going to fail Grad school! Usagi you need to focus, you told all of us how important this year was for you and we want you to pass!"

The pig-tailed blonde threw her hands in the air. "And I will pass!"

"Not if you don't stop believing in freaking fate! Usa this isn't some romcom American movie where you find your soulmate at a coffee shop! This is just like that time you thought you were a reincarnated royal princess because of some loopy dreams you had when you were a teenager!"

"To be fair they felt really real and there was the prince-"

"Again with the stupid _charming prince with the dreamiest blue eyes_ ," Minako rolled her eyes. "Just explain to me why you think in the slightest that this is something worth it."

Usagi sighed, fixing her unwaveable gaze at the rigid woman. "Minako, I've been going to this shop for years and not once have I seen a chess piece move, even if someone bumped into it. It hasn't moved until I moved one, the next day boom! Another one also moved! Coincidence I think bull!"

"Usagi-"

"Whatever happened to the goddess of love, boy-crazy Minako?!"

The blonde across from her flashed her left hand, the giant diamond on the fourth finger glistening in the sunshine. "She got engaged! That's what happened."

Usagi raised her hand to signify defeat, "Okay, okay I get it. You grew up but just hear me out, really?"

With reluctance, Minako let her hand fall limp and nodded for her to continue, a bored frown on her glossed lips.

"Okay, my plan is to move another chess piece and see if the next day, another one moves again," the blue-eyed woman explained. "It'll prove someone is moving them with me. There's no way that another opposite chess piece is going to move again because it was knocked into, too big of a _coincidence_ in my opinion."

"Okay then-," Minako paused as her eyes grew wide, shock laced with anger filling the indigo pools. "Wait, wait, wait….you want me to get involved don't you? This is why you invited me to come here last night, so you can rope me into whatever scheme that's brewing in your head?! You want an accomplice!"

Usagi's eyes grew panicked and darted in all places but she simple answered, "Yes?"

To her disbelief, the fashion designer exhaled deeply, nearly collapsing onto the table. Did her friend just have a stroke or a heart attack? ' _Oh no way you can heart attacks in your 20s...I would have had one by now_.'

"Oh Usagi I'm in!"

There's no way she heard right. Was her coffee spiked? "You're….what?"

"I'm in sister!" Minako squealed. "I mean am I really a good friend if I let you do this alone. No matter how crazy you are, you're still like my sister and sisters stay together so I'm up for it I guess."

A huge weight lifted off Usagi's shoulders and she grasped her friend's hand. "Thank you Mina! I knew I could count on you in the end!"

"Yea! I've been dying to do something like this anyway, get back to my roots and stuff, do something fun! I mean you're probably completely delusional with this but what if your mystery chess lover-boy is real! Imagine the stories I could tell your beautiful future children!"

All too quickly Usagi felt like she was asking the wrong friend for help, especially since she could literally see stars and hearts forming in her spaced out friend's eyes, not to mention the possible names for those future children. She needed love goddess Minako in this situation but it doesn't mean that this go-lucky side of Minako was her absolute favorite. "Umm okay thanks Mina but we'll see how it goes first, see if my theory works."

The blonde snapped out of her trance, an incredulous look on her lit face. "Well, what are we waiting for?! Go move the chess piece silly!"

Just barely grabbing her purse, Usagi was already being dragged towards the chess table by a frantic Minako. Stopping in front of the still dusty board game, the blonde took a breath and flicked out a painted finger to push one of the white pieces to a new spot, one of her knights again.

Apparently her suppose-opponent also moved a knight as their first move. Will another piece move or is this all apart of the grad student's stressed out mind?

Deciding it was better to have low expectations, she went on shopping at stores with Minako for the rest of the day, thinking that it was just her imagination that saw the chess piece moved. It was all in her head, nothing else. Right?

* * *

_The next day…_

"Okay…."

"Yea…."

Minako sucked in her upper lip as they both stared at the chess board. "So…..maybe you are onto something."

Another piece was moved.

* * *

_The next day…_

"Alright someone's playing against you," the bubbly blonde finally admitted, sipping at her hot coffee, "Question is, who the hell is it?"

Yesterday, before leaving the shop, Usagi had once again moved one of her white chess pieces to see if the pattern would continue. Sure enough, the two blondes entered the coffee house to see another black knight moved to a different square.

"I don't know! No one ever gives me the eye in here except for college freshmen boys," Usagi glanced around the establishment, spotting a few of the hormonal male bodies, "I'm pretty sure they aren't all that educated at chess though. A girl's bra, though, I'm sure they can excel at."

"Okay, okay," Minako contemplated their options, taking another swig of her mixed drink and bounced her leg, "Well our best plan is to catch your mystery person in the act."

Usagi blinked, imagining with amusement a General-dressed Minako shining a bright light on anyone who goes near the gameboard. "How are we supposed to do that exactly?"

"Easy," the blonde leaned back in her metal chair with a satisfied grin, "Today we're going to stay at this shop until it closes. If your opponent doesn't show up, then in the morning, we're coming straight here when it opens and wait for your mystery person again."

Usagi opened her mouth but closed it as the plan fully set in her mind and she looked back up to her friend as if she just figured out time travel, "That's actually genius!"

"I know, I know," Minako cooed with a smug look of delight, a small coffee mustache appearing on her upper lip, "You can thank me later."

Propping her head up, Usagi again found herself staring at the table from across the room. She wouldn't deny that her heart thumped harder for some reason, something about all this making her giddy and jumpy inside. Conspiracy theories spiraled in her mind, thinking to any suspects that might be playing this little game with her. But no one realistic materialized much to her frustration. "So what, we just sit here and watch the chess board?"

"Yea," Minako answered, taking another sip of her cup. "What time is it now?"

She flashed her apple watch. "Three o'clock."

Minako quirked her mouth to the side. "What time does the shop close?"

"Ten o'clock."

Minako nodded her head, lips jutting out into a pout now. "Well, it's going to be a long day."

So, with numerous looks and whispers from employees, the two blonde customers situated themselves to their seats, ever so often getting up to order another coffee, bagel, or brownie. People up and left, passing them, and other people came and ordered, and then they too left but the blonde table stayed, determined to solve the little mystery of the moving chess pieces.

"Consider me more of a summer or winter Usa?"

Usagi picked her head up from the table to bring sleepy eyes to her friend's bright indigo ones, spotting a trendy magazine resting on her polished hand and a black pen poised at the corner of her glossed mouth. "Minako….enough with the Cosmo quizzes."

Said blonde furrowed her perfect eyebrows at the slouched figure. "Grumpy much? No wonder you got a five out of ten in ' _How Good in Bed Are You?'_ You have no patience for anything."

Squinting her bloodshot eyes, Usagi let her head slam into the wood table again, feeling the smooth cool surface against her flamed cheek. How much longer can she stand like this? Was it really worth it? Who was the other player? Was it a he or she? What if it was a guy who had the hots for her? What if the guy was an 80-year-old man who just wanted to have some fun? God what if-

"Umm ladies," came a timid but baritone voice. Usagi didn't even flinch from her position; it was the barista guy who usually takes her order in the morning, his voice had been something she had become accustomed too since his deep, loud calling of her name could always make its way to her ears during rush hour. "I have to close so I'm afraid you have to leave."

This, however, made her eyelids fly open and neck almost getting whiplash as her head shot up to meet Minako's wide eyes too.

It was finally ten!

Both shades of blue darted to the chess board, both relieved, and disappointed, to see no new changes done to the miniature pieces. So Usagi's opponent had not come in today, that meaning they move the pieces in the early morning, when the shop opens.

With an exhausted sigh, Usagi already knew it was going to be a rough day tomorrow. The coffee shop opened at 5:30 a.m., thus she had to wake up at 5:00 a.m. to make it to the shop before all the early commuters, her mystery player included.

Someone cleared their throat, bringing her attention back to the barista, who was fidgeting nervously, pushing his wire trim glasses further up his straight nose. "I-I'm really sorry Miss but I really do have to close up the shop-"

"Oh yes, yes, we're so sorry," meeting Minako's eyes, Usagi cocked her head to the front doors, "Come on Minako."

With a few more apologies towards the young man, the two left the already darkened shop to fresh cool night air. "This sucks."

Minako let an eyebrow shoot up to her friend as they walked down the street, heels clicking against pavement, "What are you talking about? I mean we're probably going to see your chess boy tomorrow morni- _ohhhhh_."

"Yeaaaa," Usagi drawled on, the sensation of an yawn creeping up on her. "Meet me in the lobby of my apartment?"

"5:15?"

"Yup."

"Beautiful," Minako deadpanned. "Just beautiful."

* * *

Did you know that 7% of young adults are morning people?

Well, two blue-eyed blondes of Azabu-Juban Tokyo were _not_ in that percentage sadly.

"USAGI COME ON PICK UP THE DAMN PACE! IT'S ALREADY SEVEN!"

The red-faced blonde looked up to see her gorgeous friend running in freaking heels with no real issue while she had tripped, fallen, stumbled…...in regular running shoes. Life was cruel and unfair. And so were glitchy alarm clocks.

Misshapen buns, mismatched clothes, morning breath and all was the current appearance of Usagi Tsukino but nothing mattered to her other than getting to the coffee shop before her chess opponent, even if her last centimeter of dignity would be stabbed and burned!

It was as if something inside of her was screaming at her to figure out who it was, she needed to know, her lifelong trait of being too curious was now at its wits end. Especially such things as this, things that included mystery, were so addictive to her, the numerous crime shows on her Netflix account being evidence. She was searching for something. ' _Someone_.'

So with renewed motivation, Usagi passed a huffing and puffing Minako, body slamming into the wooden double doors of the coffee shop, nearly falling onto the polished floor. With no grace or remote elegance, she was able to elbow through the long line, coming out on the other side to see the fateful table.

Her heart dropped to the floor.

Another piece was moved.

She had missed them again.

* * *

_The next morning…._

Wiping away at the last of the stains on the marble counter, and taking a wary glance at the clock hands, the man reluctantly pulled at his array of keys, trudging to the double doors and sticking the thick key into the lock.

He turned the handle, barely opening it-

"YAHTZEE!"

Both screaming a warrior cry, the two-pajama dressed blondes tumbled through in a flurry of tangled blonde strands and pale skin. Usagi came down on Minako, who was seeing stars and her cat Artemis spinning around at the moment, and scrambled to get upright.

She was finally right on time, here before anyone else, and would finally see who…..in….. _the hell?_

Usagi stared in awe through her strings of unraveled hair, clutching at the fuzzy kitten blanket she had accidentally taken with her, and felt the familiar descend of her shriveled up heart as she gazed at the wooden game board. The background sounds of the shop opener helping up a delusional Minako, who was gurgling on about marrying Leonardo Dicaprio, all disappeared as her eyelids felt heavy along with her slumped shoulders, being weighed down by utter disappointment.

Another….piece…...was moved.

* * *

_The next day..._

"Order up!"

Usagi traced the neat handwriting of her name on the foam cup, mind wandering to the miserable test she just took with the insufferable Professor Shiro. She probably failed, as always, but all her studying time last night was occupied by a stupid, dusty game at a trendy coffee shop.

Eyes again sliding to the chess board on the opposite side of the dining room, her heart again thumped at the moved piece of today. It was a mere rook, a very lowly chess pawn to use that wasn't much of importance to the game itself. She too, yesterday, had moved one of the white rooks so whoever it was must have followed suit with their black chess pieces

Why was this on her mind so much? Was she so desperate, so bored with her life, to believe that a little mystery of who she was playing would become a huge adventure of the heart.

She cocked an eyebrow at her love-sick thought. _'Minako was right, I do read too much Shoujo Manga.'_

Fiddling with the loose thread of her white sweater, Usagi attempted to focus on her reading for her poetry class (and here she thought poetry was going to be a breeze….until the professor gave out a six-inch literature book that might as well have been written in Swedish to her). She needed to focus on getting her Masters degree, getting her life together, not some idiotic, foolish, imaginary, quest of discovering her long-lost chess-

The pig-tailed blonde had already slammed shut her thick textbook and made a beeline to the lone table across from her, hot pink heels clacking. This all was so exciting to her, having a secret someone playing a game of chess with her. It was insane to think but it was so exciting and she didn't care if it was stupid or crazy because it was something that got her away from the ridiculous stress of her life.

Made her hope for something again.

She was already reaching for one of her adjusted knights but then a flash of white caught her sight.

Blue orbs of raw emotion widened as the folded piece of white, lined paper poked out of the wooden container that would normally hold captured royal pawns of either opponent. It was purposely positioned to be coming out of the compartment, obviously wanting to catch attention.

Out of instinct, Usagi whipped her head around to see if any eyes met hers in anyway, but not a single, _visible_ person was in sight of her. Turning back to the situation at hand, she took a leap of faith and plucked out the folded paper, opening and smoothing it out to see the clear and immaculate kanji of someone, _her someone_ , in thin black ink on the blue lines. And she nearly lost her breath, a new flock of butterflies were created in her stomach along with her heart swelling and doing somersaults in her chest.

_"I heard from a little birdie that you're looking for me? Your move."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyday Usagi moves a chess piece and the next day, someone else always moves another. Who is she playing against?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here's Chapter three of my coffee shop au!! Some hilarity and UsagixMinako antics that hopefully had you smile a little lol
> 
> Enjoy and tell me what you thought!!!

**Chapter Three**

"And with the theory of psychoanalytically you all, the students, should be able to deduce -using that very theory- should be able to figure out the very nature of many the- MISS TSUKINO!"

"WHAT!?" The pig-tailed blonde glanced frantically at her white-haired professor and then the meter stick slammed down on her desk space. In her moving glaze, she was able to come upon the few drops of shining saliva on the dark wood surface. She closed her eyes. ' _Shit.'_

"Miss Tsukino, I somehow keep finding myself surprised that you still even attend my classes and lectures," Professor Shiro bit out roughly, "You might as well stay home if you're just going to _snooze_ through them and disrupt the rest of the willing to learn students with your obnoxious and hideous snoring."

Usagi heard the rounds of snickers and giggles go through her classmates in the lecture hall and felt her five foot size shrink to one foot. It was middle school and high school all over again with everyone, _even the teacher,_ making fun of her. "I'm s-sorry Shiro-sama I had a late night-"

"Of what? Binge watching, ogling K-Pop stars, eating boxes of bonbons," he questioned with a gray eyebrow upturned, making her slouch further in the chair. "Well whatever it was, I'm sure it was much more important than _getting your masters and finishing your social work education_."

She panicked. "No it wasn't! I swear to you I care about getting my social work de-"

"Then why are you sleeping in my class, why are you late all the time, why is your work never finished, why fail all your exams and tests," he paused, " _If you care."_

The sting of tears began behind her eyes and she bit her lip to keep it all in at his condescending tone. "I-I'm sorry-"

"I pity the children that will be placed under your care if you ever _do_ get your degree," he spoke firmly. "I see this type of behavior again, I will swiftly remove you from my class. Understood?"

"Y-yes," her wavering voice ringed out, crystal blue eyes becoming glassy.

"Very well, then on with the lecture of theory…."

Usagi didn't care to listen onto her Professor's lecture, just barely keeping her appearance that she was, and let her mind wander to dark places like it always did when she questioned herself.

She, was never good enough. It happened throughout her whole life in every aspect; her schooling had been a mess of F's, all her relationships ended in failure and heartbreak- almost always because of cheating and _definitely_ not on her part - then it was letting her family down for never being smart enough, or or _or…._

The tears freely cascaded down her red cheeks, staining the skin but she didn't care as all her classmates had already turned back to focus again on the old man in the front. She wanted this to end, _now_. She couldn't, wouldn't, make it through another fifteen minutes of this without breaking down.

As if hearing her pleads from above, the string of musical notes rang through the hall, signaling the end of the class period.

And Usagi was the first one out the door.

* * *

Dabbing at the last of the tears on her face, the blonde plastered a smile on her mouth and walked into the Coffee Shop with renewed confidence and happiness.

Her pump heels walked in a straight line to the destined table.

" _I heard from a little birdie you're looking for me? Your move."_

" _Minako what the hell am I supposed to write back?!"_

" _Um how about 'WHO ARE YOU'?!"_

_A black pen and a piece of ripped off notebook paper already shoved into her hands, Usagi had shakily written her message:_

" _I have been looking for you. Though it's kind of hard to find you so spare me the work and bless me with your name?"_

Usagi smirked at remembrance of the written message, finding it a perfect response, while Minako had thought it sounded like a Shakespeare-line reject. It was a great reply and she could hardly wait to see what they wrote in response. Whoever 'they' was.

Suspense rapidly building within her being, the bubbly blonde shook out the piece of lined paper- the same kind as yesterday -and hastily pulled at it to read the neat kanji. And once more her heart soared and plummeted at the reply she received.

" _And let there be no mystery? Don't you just love a good mystery? I'll let you work for it blondie. Make your move."_

Annoyance exploded within her. ' _A good mystery? What the hell is that supposed to tell me? I just want to know who you are baka! Great I'm dealing with a comedian with a flare for chess!"_

She crumpled up the slip of paper, infuriated for a few seconds -even considering throwing out the response at the nearest trash can- but the last word catches her attention finally. Usagi smoothed out the message again and her eyes zeroed in on ' _blondie.'_

' _They know me….they've seen me before!'_

Wildly searching for anyone that even remotely looked in her direction, she grew partially paranoid and thought back to interactions with people she had in this very coffee shop but who could ever be this person…..maybe it was just a regular who had noticed her a lot. But she knew most of the regulars (the friendly ones anyway) so….

Who could it be?

With a quick flare of a marker from her backpack, as well as making one of her knights move to a new square, Usagi turned on her heel and left the shop, grueling over her reply, praying that maybe they would answer more clearly next time.

" _Do I know you?"_

* * *

"Odango just don't think about it so much, you're going crazy trying to find this person!"

"Because I need to know who it is Rei!" The blonde adjusted the phone between her shoulder and ear. "You know how I love mysteries and solving them!"

"Don't remind me," Rei muttered over the connection, "I'm still sore over the fact that you of all people beat me in Clue that one game night."

"Hey I'm not school smart but at least I'm Clue smart." Dipping the wooden spoon into the hot pan, Usagi stuck out her tongue to taste the homemade red sauce. But as soon as her taste buds registered the flavor, her face scrunched up into a revolted state. ' _I'm definitely not cook smart that's for sure.'_

"All I'm saying is don't go-all-Usagi on this okay?"

"Fine, fi- wait what do you mean 'go all Usagi on this', why did you say it like that?"

Over the phone, she heard a sigh. "Look, Usagi I love you but you tend to go overboard with some of your schemes. Especially when a guy is involved."

Twisting the stove dial to zero, the cooking disaster blonde slid the black pot to a cooled spot, hoping that maybe the sauce was still usable for her pasta, just maybe. "What do you mean overboard?! I'm just a little bit of a hopeless romantic."

" _A little?"_

"Why does everyone keep saying it like that?!" Unlacing her long hair from its big bun, the waves of gold shimmered down her back and she raked her hand through it, dropping onto the hot pink couch in the small living room. "Rei what am I supposed to do?"

"Honest?" The black-haired lawyer took a pause then a sigh once more. "Just let it play out and don't put your whole heart into it. Usagi it's just a game of innocent chess, not a life-changing decision. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't Rei," Usagi sighed. "I promise I won't."

There was a pause and shuffle of papers in the background. "Listen I have a huge case to prep for so can I just call you tomorrow before we go shopping with Minako?"

"Yea sure," Usagi closed her eyes and tried to calm the mounting headache, "It must be nice to have your life figured out and ready."

"Trust me, being an adult is not all margaritas and clubbing. There's also bills and everyday problems that we all go through," Rei said. "I'll see ya."

There was a click and Usagi brought the phone to her face to see the colorful home screen pop up, smiling faces greeting her frowning one. It was of all her friends at her 21st birthday, all dressed to the nines in party dresses and a big sash wrapped around her body, declaring her legal status to the world.

Life was playing out a lot more differently than she had expected. Things were supposed to be different but oddly it all felt similar. She was still jobless, still failing school, _still in_ school, her friends were doing better than her, and of course she was still so brutally single.

The only noticeable difference in the two time zones was her residence. At least now, she moved out of her parent's house and into a apartment in the heart of Tokyo. Albeit it was a shoe sized apartment, Usagi made it her own and it was very livable from her perspective with its bright walls and comfy furniture.

Bouncing her leg in the air, the blonde's thoughts drifted to her mystery player, a smile curling on her lips. She imagined best case scenario: her opponent being a handsome, charismatic, witty, and kind guy who was her soulmate and true love. They would fall in love hopelessly, their wedding with the dearest of family and friends, building a family, living their lives together….

Of course her friends' pessimistic rants filtered in her mind and more realistic (and worse case) scenarios played out: a 60 year-old pervert who had the hots for her, maybe a 80-year-old senile lady, heck maybe it's a serial killer looking at her to be his next victim.

Usagi smashed one of her pink fur-covered couch pillows into her scrunched up face. With her _beautiful_ luck, it would be one of those outcomes.

So deep into her negative thoughts, she dimly felt the vibrating through the pillow on her face, and fumbled to grab the bedazzled iPhone.

Swiping to accept the call, figuring it was one of the girls, Usagi cradled it next to her ear under the throw pillow. "Hello, single and lonely Usagi here."

"Usagi." Her eyes snapped open. "Hey…"

Pink fur went flying across the room and blue depths flashed rage and hurt. "How the hell are you calling me? I blocked your number ass."

"I know," the voice said in disappointment, "I'm calling from a payphone. I figured that you would answer and I could talk-"

"Talk?," she questioned in disgust, wrinkling her nose, "You want to talk about this more? There's nothing else to explain."

"Just let me defend my-"

"You wanna defend why you cheated on me with _three_ different girls, numerous times?"

Silence. ' _Of course,'_ she thought.

Usagi could just imagine him rubbing his face in frustration over the phone until finally-"They were mistakes. They're nothing compared to you Usagi, please. I was the biggest idiot in the world to think that they were better."

She scoffed, anger building within her. "You had _sex with them_. All different times through our relationship! How the hell do you make that mistake multiple times on different occasions? Oh right! Because you're a pig and a jackass."

His voice broke and she was disgusted at herself when she hoped that he was crying."Usagi please we can make it work, I'll never do it again-"

"No," she cut in coldly, using a shaking voice she didn't recognize, "I've been with so many people who always said that. ' _I'll never do it again Usa. It was just a one-time thing. Wasn't serious. She's nothing compared to you. We can work through it.'_ And every time I stupidly let them back in, I got my heart broken again."

She heard his breath through the phone and she felt the sting of hot tears racking up behind her eyes. ' _I almost fell for you, thought you were different and someone I could get serious with but I was just being naïve Usagi who believes the best in people.'_

The man shakily sighed over the phone. "Usagi I really cared about y-"

"Just go screw yourself," she spat, "Or get one of those girls to. I don't care. Just never call me again."

And her finger stabbed the red button before another sentence could be uttered, letting the phone fall to the plush landing of her rug. She ran quaking fingers through her loose gold hair, the urge to tear it out growing. The remembrance of how he used to touch it and run his dirty little fingers through it made her ill, so much so that she darted to the miniature bathroom in a heartbeat.

It was always the same story, poor old clueless Usagi gives her heart to a decent guy and he always ends up taking a jackhammer to it, only to attempt on repairing it with band-aids of 'sorrys' and 'I care about you.'

Looking up to meet her pale face in the reflection, Usagi let the tears run. She really was pathetic.

Never pretty enough. Never smart enough. Never funny enough.

Never good enough for anyone.

She stumbled back into the small living room, knocking her purse off the coffee table, the contents spilling out on the floor. Before tugging to her bedroom, the tear-streaked blonde saw the familiar folded up piece of paper.

With shaking fingers, she plucked it out of the mess of compacts, pens, and receipts, rolling it out to reveal the message again.

" _And let there be no mystery? Don't you just love a good mystery? I'll let you work for it blondie. Make your move."_

The note made her break out into a watery smile and a hearty laugh.

It was dangerous, she knew it was, but she let her beaten heart pulse in hope. Maybe Prince Charming was just a chess move away.

* * *

"Miss please-"

"DON'T YOU 'MISS' ME PUNK! I ASKED YOU A QUESTION AND YOU SURE AS HELL ARE GOING TO ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!"

Usagi reddened further, embarrassed to see that the entire coffee shop was now staring at her spectacle of a friend. "Minako ease up."

Wild indigo eyes met hers. "What do you mean ease up Usa?! We need answers and this shrimp has the freaking answers!"

The blushing blonde slid her eyes to the shrimp; he was new, that was evident with his quaking and nervousness. He wore a ball cap and apron just like the others, colored braces and nerdy bifocals framing his chubby face. Usagi felt her heart ache for the poor teenager, it was obvious that Minako was his first rude customer.

"P-please Miss, I've just been working here for a few days I don't know-"

"And you know what else has been going on for a few days? My friend's game of chess," she declared, eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Tell me, are you courting my friend here? Are you a master of chess? Why are you getting sweaty and nervous? Are you stalking her creep!"

His eyes widened as rolls of sweat continued to tumble. "What! No, no, no I'm not I swear! Please I-"

"What's going on here?" Another employee of equal height and age approached the counter next to his team member, glasses perched on his nose as well. "Can I help you ladies?"

From the sharp tone of his voice and the air of cockiness around him, Usagi could already tell where this train wreck was going to go down. ' _This won't be good…'_

"Well you see I asked your employee here a simple question and he refuses to answer it," Minako supplied matter-a-factly.

"What was the question," the new kid asked, sass lacing his words, of course that eluded Minako.

"My friend here is wondering who's her mysterious chess player so I was just asking johnny boy here if he's happened to see anyone in particular taking an interest in the chessboard over there," the chatty blonde explained, "A simple question."

The new one (Yuko on his nametag) looked to Minako seriously with a glint of challenge in his pupils. "We, as employees, can not divulge such information due to respecting the privacy of our customers."

Minako blinked dumbfounded. "What?"

"Let me spell it out for you," he smirked. "We can not tell you, ma'am. Breach of privacy."

The blonde scoffed in disbelief. "This is a coffee shop, not confession in Church. The hell with the privacy of your customers. Just tell us who's playing against her."

"No."

" _You little jacka-"_

"Minako, let's just leave," Usagi begged, now tugging at Minako's arm as the blonde barred her teeth, leaning over the counter to huff into the faces of the boys. "We'll think of a new way relax!"

"No! I will squeeze the answers out of them! Just give me a few minutes alone with them!"

"Minako!"

"What the hell is going on here?" As if an angel bathed in light appeared from the heavens, Usagi's eyes dazzled as her regular barista walked up from behind the two boys, concern etched on his features. "Yuko-san, Momoto-san, are you two helping these ladies?"

Noticing, for the first time, his tag with the words 'Team Manager', Usagi felt her heart soar.

"Uh yes Senpai, we were just telling the ladies we couldn't help them," the suddenly nervous and blushing Yuko uttered, looking down at his feet.

"Yea," Momoto squeaked, already pulling out his inhaler.

The manager looked to both blondes with a smile. "Maybe I could be of help. What did you two need?"

In an instant, Minako explained their dilemma, all in her game of chess and mystery player, using frantic and animated gestures that made Usagi shake her head and shift uncomfortably.

He looked over to the lone chessboard with a confused expression. "People still use that dusty old thing?"

"I know right," Yuko chided, disgusted almost. "I think it's older than me."

The manager turned to the blondes once more. "So you two are asking if any of us have seen your chess Romero?"

"Yes," Usagi answered. "It sounds crazy, I know. But I'm just super curious."

"No no I understand," he reassured, kind eyes reflecting through his wire glasses. "I'm sure my two teammates here can help you."

"What?!," both teens exclaimed with wide eyes to their superior, Yuko looking in disbelief while Momoto continued to pump air into his lungs.

"That's right," the manage clamped a hand down on the boys shoulders. "Why don't you two just make a list of anyone who looked suspicious by the chess board. You both should know the majority of the customers by now, especially you Yuko-san. You practically have a photographic memory with customers names."

Usagi could see the boy's blush grow deeper and avoided eye contact with everyone, especially his manager. "Yes Senpai, I'll help them."

"Alright good," the man looked again to the blondes and left with a nervous smile as another customer went up to the register.

The second he was out of earshot and the group was no longer in his eye of sight, Minako's blue hues turned almost red to the two workers on the other side of the counter, a vindictive grin curling against the corners of her mouth. "You heard your _Senpai_. Make the list bakas."

Death stares were exchanged, but eventually Yuko pulled a slip of paper from behind the counter and began the list of names of regular customers who could be possible suspects to this whole chess scheme.

Catching the battlefield out of the corner of her eye, Usagi left Minako to deal with the two 'snitches' while she set out to see today's message. Sure enough, a white paper poked out of the thin container.

" _I know you. Next move."_

Annoyance and even more curiosity filled her to the brim. This person could not give a straight answer to save their life!

All she wanted was a hint, a clue as to who exactly was writing this perfectly presented kanji. But vague answer after another, it was hopeless. But they knew her, so it was something that she could branch off of.

Problem is they knew her, but how could she not know them?

" _Can you give me a hint? Come on, throw a bone to the poor dumb blonde, not-so stranger."_

* * *

"Alright so here's the list those two boneheads gave us."

Usagi pulled the paper closer to her on the table, eyes searching for a name that looked somewhat familiar to her but nothing jumped out particularly.

Dread filled her and the idea of having a stalker seemed to grow more prominent. Why was it always the creepers she attracted?

"I don't recognize anyone Minako," she concluded with a heavy heart. "This is hopeless."

"Now now now, maybe you don't know their name but I'm sure you've seen them," with a manicured hand, Minako pointed to the names on the list, some being females and some males. "I made a deal with nerd boy over there that when someone from this list comes in, he'll give us the low down and we can low-key interrogate them."

Usagi cocked a blonde eyebrow and stared at her friend in almost disbelief. "Low-key? Minako you can barely whisper."

"Usa! I can be sneaky and nonchalant." The staring didn't stop, in fact it was even more reinforced. "Fine, fine, fine, you can interrogate them and I'll watch from a distance."

A smile spread. "Thank you."

The doorbell dinged and a loud hiss was flown through the air, Minako whipping her head to the counter behind their table. Yuko was mindlessly cleaning a glass with a towel while bluntly staring at the newest customer, who, judging by the backpack and advanced textbooks, was a college student.

The blonde friends stepped to the counter within earshot.

"Regular, fourth year at Tokyo-U," Yuko informed, looking away, "Usually studying here and I believe is going to medical school. Gets a regular coffee, black. Mostly alone and I've seen him play some games of chess on his laptop. Might be your guy."

Usagi's eyes roamed over the tall figure who was fully invested in his phone at the moment. He had dark hair, striking eyes, and you could see some steady muscles under his plain T-shirt. He was younger, usually she stayed away from college guys but this hottie might be an exception to the rule.

"Whatcha waiting for," Minako gave her a push towards the line, "Go check him out."

Touching her hair and adjusting her floral short shirt, Usagi breathed in and walked over to him, standing behind with bated breath.

Clueless on how to start, she looked to the corner where Minako gestured for her to bump into his backside and break the ice.

Sending a prayer to any gods, the blue-eyed blonde tried her best to gently push into his backpack without being overly rude. Of course a small shove did nothing to the stone built man so she pushed further until he shifted which made her snap back to being upright.

He looked over with cool eyes, landing on a smiling face and wide eyes.

"Oh I'm s-so sorry," she said with a stutter. "Lost my balance there."

"It's okay," he reassured with a polite smile, turning back to the suddenly too slow line.

Usagi frowned, wondering just how she was supposed to find out if he was the one. It wasn't like she could ask " _oh how's your chess game son?"_ or " _do you by any chance have a tendency to call people blondie?"_

She rolled her eyes in the idiocy of it all.

Eyeing the stack of medical books in the crook of his arm, light bulbs went off and silent thanks was sent to Ami and all her meaningless medical lessons.

"Oh cool so you're majoring in neurology?," Usagi asked with enough enthusiasm to catch his attention once more.

It did and he glanced to his books. "Yea, I had a bad accident with my head when I was younger so I kind of just gravitated towards it. Do you attend Tokyo-U?"

"I attend the Grad school. Graduated two years ago actually."

"Oh, what are you getting your Master's in?"

Giddy was gripping her and a silly smile plastered itself on her face. "Social work."

"That's amazing," he said, shooting a smile that went straight to her knees. "It's a very honorable profession to be a social worker. You must have a kind heart."

"Yea I guess you could say," Usagi chimed, twirling a piece of blonde hair while grinning silly.

"Uhhh, you guys need a moment or…."

Fire would have been shooting out of her eyes if it hadn't been the barista she knew, that interrupted the lovely conversation. He stared wide-eyed at the two but understanding drew in him and he quickly became nervous. "I mean n-no one's behind you s-so take your time l-lovebirds."

"Oh no it's fine," her handsome-maybe-mystery-chess-boy reassured, missing Usagi's sigh as he handed over the yen. "I'll take a regular coffee to go. Just black please."

When the guy went to deposit the change in a pocket of his backpack, the barista mouthed ' _I'm sorry'_ to her. She sent a small smile. ' _It's okay.'_

Usagi stood awkwardly next to him, shifting foot to foot as the barista punched in his order and wrote the man's name on the paper cup. The guy then proceeded to walk to the pick-up counter, with her fumbling after him like a love-sick school girl.

"You know actually one of my friends is actually becoming a doctor too," the blonde stuttered, desperate to keep his attention. "She's doing her residence at Juban General, going to be a surgeon."

He stopped at the counter and gave her another smile, dark eyes sparkling with curiosity. "I'm actually considering going to Juban General. How does she like it there?"

"Oh she loves it! All the people there are nice and super helpful so you should totally consider it," Usagi chirped, flashing her brightest smile before an amazing strategy seeped into her mind. "You know what? If you give me your phone I can give it to her. My friend can help you out and get you recommended to Juban if you want?"

Much to her pleasure, she saw his face light up and nod to her request. Opening up one of the spiral notebooks in his hand and plucking out a pen from his back pocket, the college guy sprawled his number, name, and other medical stuff that would probably mean something to Ami but made Usagi's head spin.

He tore the piece of paper out and smiled big. "Here you go! Thanks so much, it's funny who you meet at a Coffee Shop, huh?"

Usagi let her shoulders drop as her eyes roamed over the information sprawled on the paper, meeting the guy's gaze with a half-smile that didn't reach her blues. "Yea, it's funny."

"Kuyske T!"

"Oh yea that's me," he answered, grasping the paper cup from the barista. "Well I guess I'll see you around- oh shoot I never caught your name!"

"Tsukino Usagi," she informed, her eyes dropping to the ground as he said his name and bid farewell probably with a thanking smile. Heavy feet lead Usagi back to her and Minako's table, dropping the piece of paper on the table, while she slumped into the wooden chair with disappointment in her deep eyes.

Minako looked up with wide eyes full of questions. "So? Was it him!?"

The blonde shook her head with solemn. "No, look at the paper."

"So," Minako questioned, examining the writing, "I don't get it."

Usagi reached in her pocket and fished out another piece of folded up paper. "The handwriting doesn't match, I know it doesn't."

While Minako compared the two styles, Usagi watched as her 'not-chess-opponent' walked up to a guy leaning against one of the rustic staircases, and both smiled at each other while they embraced. After retracting they shared a sweet kiss.

Usagi sighed with a bittersweet smile spreading on her lips, happy that at least those two were happy with each other, even if Kuyske wasn't her guy. But she wouldn't deny that her heart did fall a bit more at the sight of another happy couple and her in the dark corner again, a storm cloud above her.

With a glance to the lengthy list in front of Minako, Usagi could feel the headache forming against her skull. She knew that she was going to get desperate, fast.

* * *

"You think I'm who?"

"Well you see I moved this piece on that chessboard over there and someone also moved one. And then it just continued with moving pieces and then exchanging notes here and there but the problem is that my opponent keeps avoiding my questions of their identity. So I have now resorted to finding them by asking potential suspects to confess to being my chess player."

The stranger blinks four times (she counted) before walking away shaking his head and muttering about how he needs to find a new hangout spot besides this café.

Usagi sighed, looking to Minako who was already crossing out the name, and briefly mused her failed plan. ' _Well I guess telling the truth was a no-go."_

* * *

"Who are you again?"

"I am the mystical fortune teller of the coffee shops and I am here to read your fortune sir," Usagi stumbled out, concocting a thick accent to play her part, somewhat.

The man looked up to her in confusion. "I have never heard of-"

"Just let me read your fortune!"

His hand shot out as he stared wide-eyed in fear. Usagi blew at the dangling part of Minako's godly scarf that she tied around her head, and she carefully examined the guy's hand, her fingertips tracing the faint creases and lines, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. "Ahhhh, yes I see your most deepest secrets and thoughts."

"Really," he questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes, yes, yes," she chanted. "I can see your future even."

He leaned in closer to her, his interest suddenly peaked. "How? What do you see?"

"I see….," she whispered, eyes so focused on the hand, as if waiting for something to appear oh so suddenly as clear as day. "I see you playing chess with a beautiful girl…"

He blinked, face frozen in bewilderment. "I'm...playing chess?"

"Yes," she said with more confidence and less of her accent. "I can see it so crystal clear. With this girl, you're falling more and more in love with her. Maybe you should reveal yourself to her. Like right now."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm just saying you should save the girl a few meltdowns and stress spells and just confess yourself to her, you know just, well I don't know….TELL HER YOUR NAME!"

Minako took a sip from her white ceramic mug, the cream and sugared coffee melting against her taste buds. But then a series of loud arguments sliced through her serene setting of the morning.

"You're insane! Some crackpot off the street I'm sure!" A tall handsome man came into her line of sight and watched as he left in a flurry of curse words and a reddened face.

Of course, Usagi soon appeared as well, dressed in her ridiculous get-up of a street fortune teller, colored glasses perched on her nose and scarf wrapped around her head. "Hey! For your information I live in an apartment, not the street!"

Minako sighed as Usagi continued on with her slew insults, pulling out the black marker and crossing out the next name on the list with a thick bold line.

* * *

"Hey there."

The man jumped from his chair and turned away from his computer screen to set eyes upon a smiling pig-tailed blonde who had dancing blue eyes. "Uh hi."

"So you play chess?"

He darted his eyes to the online chess game being displayed on the laptop, "Uh yea I do."

Her smile widened. "Really? Do you perhaps love it?"

"Yea."

"Oh that's great," she cooed, eyes never halting in their sparkling. "Do you by chance, love it so much that you would engage in an mystery filled game of chess with a girl that has blonde hair and a killer personality?"

* * *

"I don't play chess for the last time you weirdo!"

The man ripped his arm out of Usagi's hand and stormed out of the shop, grunting and mumbling the whole way.

The blonde huffed in anger. "Well you could have been a little more nicer about it!"

"Sooo...this is what you meant by becoming a little obsessive about it," Makoto questioned with wide eyes as the table all stared at their red-faced friend who was stomping to the chess board, determination in each step.

"Yup," Minako answered, blacking out yet another name on the list. "So far we've knocked about seven people out of the running. And it's only been one day."

"Does Usagi-chan really think this is the best way to find this mystery person," Ami asked, concerned and worried over how red Usagi's face had turned.

"Ami, do you really want to try and stop Usagi of all people when she has a scheme like this," Rei took a sip of her coffee. "We just gotta let this run its course and be there when she needs us."

All four women watched from across the room as the fuming blonde stuck her hand into the slim container and retracted a piece of folded paper which she nearly ripped open.

" _If you keep asking me who I am blondie, this little game of chess will end more sooner than you think. Keep going, make your move, and stop asking questions."_

Usagi could feel the aggressive push the words had, they almost flew off the page and slapped her actually. The message spoke volumes to her and rage consumed her so much that she ripped the paper in two, crumpling the pieces in her hands.

Being annoyed and frustrated was now an understatement. She was pissed.

She had just embarrassed herself in front of multiple people, claiming that they were her mystery player in chess ( _Do you know how much it takes for even the city crazies to look weird at you?!_ ) She did not need this-this sass and smartass making her jump through hoops to know who the hell they were.

She was tired of it and so the grad student almost snapped the pen in half writing down her only logical response.

" _I just want to know you! I want to get to know you!"_

* * *

"Another person, another cross-off….." Usagi muttered, dragging her feet to the empty register, the morning rush having dissipated. Even with two days and about ten human interactions with suspects, she had no real results or answers. Just buckets of embarrassment.

"You've come up with zilch I'm guessing?"

"Thanks for the information Captain Obvious," she snapped viciously. Of course she immediately regretted it when she saw that the person she had snapped on was her regular barista, who shone fearful eyes at her and stopped cleaning the plate in his hand. "Oh god I'm so sorry. It's just been a long day full of nothing."

He relaxed and smiled nervously, appearing understanding and considerate. "I get it, I was just trying to crack a joke but uh it's obvious you're not in the best mood. I'm sorry."

She sent him a friendly smile and kind eyes. "No it's fine…." She froze and felt her face grow red and hot.

The man chuckled nervously, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Wasureta, uh that's what most people call me."

Usagi felt her blush slowly die down, usually she remembered people's names but somehow she forgot his. "I-I'm sorry Wasureta-san. Can I just call you Wasu-chan actually?"

"Yea, sure," he nodded, a friendly smile gracing his face. "And it's fine."

She smiled and went to rub her pounding forehead. "It's just I've come to a dead end with this whole thing. I mean I went to almost everyone and have tried everything! Like one-" she rose a finger in the air "-told the flat out truth, two-" rising another finger "-dressed up as a coffee shop fortune teller with clothes I had from my school play of 'A Lonely Beggar', three-" rose yet another finger "-I even tried to convince people that I needed their signatures for a petition to prevent your guys from pulling your guava smoothies just so I can see their handwriting! Actually I was pretty successful with that last one, got about fifteen signatures."

Suddenly a fit of laughter ringed through her ears and Usagi whipped her head up to see Wasu hysterically chuckling, wiping a tear from his eye. "Oh I'm so happy that my misfortunes make you giggle Wasu-chan."

"I'm s-sorry, I-I'm sorry," he choked out, trying to regain his calmness but her pouty frown made it all that impossible. "It's just you're going through a lot to just find one person."

"Well blame me," she chided, "I like a good mystery and I have the curiosity of a cat."

Finally reining in his laughter, the barista gave her an understanding look with dazzling eyes. "Well I'm sure your mystery guy is out there somewhere in the sea of coffee drinkers we have. He's probably jumping up and down wanting to meet you."

"Oh yea he's probably jumping out of a window," a passing by Yuko hissed behind Wasu.

"Yuko!" He turned back to Usagi with an apologetic smile.

Eventually, Usagi walked away from the counter when a new round of customers came in and she left poor Wasu to deal with them. Her eyes landed on the god forsaken table, and remembering her note from yesterday, she was scared to see her opponent's response.

Swallowing the lump in her constricting throat, the blonde gasped at the folded piece of paper sticking out. With shaky fingers, she unraveled the surprisingly bigger piece of paper. Her eyes widened and for once, the giddy butterflies took flight again in her stomach.

" _My only rules are that you never directly ask for my name and that you never call me. Break either rules, and our game of chess ends. If you really want to get to know me, then I can't stop you blondie._

_(080) 197-5330_

_I want to get to know you too."_

* * *

The number was punched in already, it's been punched in for the last ten minutes. But she still hasn't sent a single message yet.

Here she was, dressed in bunny pajamas, cross-legged on her fluffy bed, and her favorite K-Pop songs humming on the Bluetooth speaker. She was in the perfect environment to send one blasted text message but she was scared.

What if it was a huge joke and the number would direct her to a some kind of therapist line or even worse, a sex call. She would be humiliated and embarrassed for the one-thousandth time in her life.

She examined the cell number again, her fingers jumpy and mind torn. The piece of lined paper laid next to her on the floral bedspread, the sincere words calling to her and making the butterflies and flutters all that much present in her bustling body. Maybe she should just take a chance at fate?

Holding on to that last shred of courage, Usagi's fingers quickly tapped out the message and pressed sent. As the little whoosh echoed, her eyes widened and palms became sweaty.

The blonde prayed that her risk would pay off somehow and that a real person would answer her. All she had said was simply, " _Hi_."

Leaping off the bed, Usagi padded to the small bathroom with the intention of getting ready for slee-

_DING!_

The blonde vaulted onto her bed, in record time that would make Olympians jealous, and scrambled to open her phone to display her new message with excited eyes.

" _ **Hey Usagi! I was just wondering if we're still on for another lunch date on Wednesday! -Naru"**_

The excitement escaped her body and the woman visibly deflated at the message. Usagi responded back to her redhead friend and the phone slipped from her hands limply, landing on the pink sheets once again.

' _Here I am, desperately waiting for a guy to text me back, on the edge of my seat and jumping to my phone every time it dings...Why does this feel like Deja-Vu?,'_ she mused with a pathetic grin.

She tugged back to the bathroom, washing her face and brushing her teeth, all with a frown. Snapping off the fluorescent lights, the pig-tailed blonde unraveled her golden hair, freeing it from pins and elastics while walking to her bed. She placed the hair materials on the bedside table, ready to be used the next morning.

Out of pure habit, Usagi checked her home screen and dropped it back on the table.

In seconds, she picked it back up with crazed eyes.

_**(080) 197-5330** _

" _ **Hi."**_

Her heart was beating out of its chest and a slow grin appeared. But all the message said was 'Hi'. No big declaration of love or really any declaration besides a simple, everyday greeting. For a little, she questioned if maybe the number was even right.

" _I'm sorry, I might have the wrong number."_

It was just a few seconds later when the phone vibrated in her hands.

" _ **It depends. Is this Blondie?"**_

Her smile broke out even bigger and she felt the jitters all over her body as she typed back her reply.

" _Is this Chess boy?"_

" _ **Ohhhh so that's my name?"**_

And she laughed, actually laughed out loud at the reply because of the lightheartedness of the whole thing.

In the first time in a long time, Usagi felt her heart soar to the heavens and she let it. She could have one good thing in her mess of a life.

Right?


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyday Usagi moves a chess piece and the next day, someone else always moves another. Who is she playing against?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Fourth chapter here you go!! 
> 
> IMPORTANT Here's a little text key:
> 
> Usagi's texts are italicized 
> 
> Chess Boy's are bold and italicized 
> 
> Enjoy and tell me what you think!!

**Chapter Four**

Desperately trying to keep up with her professor's rapid notes, Usagi saw her phone screen light up and felt the desk space vibrate along with it.

" _ **I'm just curious and please don't take offense but how does one so *quote* blonde and dumb know how to play chess, if you don't mind me asking?"**_

The "dumb blonde" grinned, her cheeks being dusted with pink. She slid the phone closer to her and quickly punched in her reply.

" _One of my friends is like a World Champion in the game so I picked up a few things from her. What about you Chess boy?"_

Proud of her response, Usagi returned to her note taking. But even with her best tries at ignoring the vibration and notifications, she still returned to her smartphone, eager to see his witty response.

" _ **I just like the game blondie. I used to compete in it too, just like your friend."**_

" _Oh so you were a nerd?"_

" _ **Enjoying a classic game of the wits and strategy now classifies you as a nerd? Did I miss the notice or something?"**_

" _Apparently you did."_

" _ **Welllll you're the one who's talking to this chess nerd so."**_

She bit on her lip to suck in the laugh that threatened to come out. For the past two nights, her phone has been abuzz with texts, from her mystery chess player. And for each text, she would respond readily. Highlights for her these days was texting, _talking_ to her chess charming.

* * *

" _So this is you?"_

" _ **Well unless you've been cheating on me with another chess game at another coffee shop, yea it is."**_

" _Oh I would never cheat on you Chess boy!"_

" _ **Good to know Blondie."**_

* * *

Their conversations were the best part of her day now. After the regular quips and flashes of wit in the beginning with their introductions, they both unknowingly started to engage in a game of 20 questions, or rather 100 questions.

There was standard questions that brought the most logic to ask.

* * *

" _Weird question but I need to know. Why did you move a piece when I moved a piece?"_

" _ **Why did you move a piece in the first place?"**_

" _I was having a rough day, or really life, and I thought moving a chess piece would be symbolic or something."_

" _ **Interesting, interesting, you're a symbolic person. I moved a piece just for the heck of it, actually I thought maybe you moved a piece because you wanted someone to play you."**_

* * *

Eventually the conversation turned into a strictly question-response one, witty banter back and forth, questions were asked that made her sides split from laughs.

* * *

" _ **Be honest, how many times have you rushed into that coffee shop with your pajamas on?"**_

" _I don't even think mathematicians have invented a number high enough."_

" _ **I figured."**_

* * *

" _Here are the tough questions chess boy: briefs or boxers?"_

" _ **Here's a tough question for you blondie: tampons or pads?"**_

" _Oh my god XD."_

* * *

" _Why do you call me blondie?"_

" _ **Well I've obviously seen you before at the shop, and your hair was up in that bun-style thing that you do. My first nickname for you was actually something else. So I figured going for blondie was a more safe road to go down."**_

" _What was the other one, the first one?!"_

" _ **I rather not."**_

" _Come on!"_

" _ **Fine! It was…."**_

" _COME ON!"_

" _ **...Odango Atama. Because the buns looked like little Odangos…."**_

" _Awww that's actually cute!"_

" _ **Now that I've told my biggest secret ever, why do you call me chess boy?"**_

" _Well you're playing chess with me and I just figured you were a guy. You are….right?"_

" _ **Mystery my dear Odango, mystery…."**_

* * *

Most think that they would run out of topics to discuss but Usagi wanted to know everything about her mystery player, even all the small things that others would have no care for, but she did.

* * *

" _Ever got a speeding ticket?"_

" _ **Nope I have a clean record."**_

" _Ideal breakfast?"_

" _ **Probably a bagel, scoop of scrambled eggs, piece of ham, and a coffee."**_

" _What kind of coffee do you get?"_

" _ **Nice try but that'll be too easy. I do like coffee though."**_

" _Darn! Well are you afraid of heights? Do you sing in the car? Do you sing in the shower? Christmas stressful? Favorite holiday? Are you double-jointed? Can you curl your tongue?!"_

" _ **No, depends on the song, depends on the song, no, the first day of school, no, and yes."**_

" _You can curl your tongue?! That's so cool! And the first day of school?!"_

" _ **You asked Odango/Blondie."**_

" _My new nickname?"_

" _ **I just grew to adore both and thought best to combine them."**_

" _I like it ;)"_

* * *

Usagi was on cloud 9, never minding the bloodshot eyes and her countless yawns throughout the day, due to her late nights and early mornings. It was always worth it to know what he said and it was always heart wrenching when she couldn't answer, the fear of him thinking that she wasn't interested hanging over her.

She craved for all the little things about him; his likes, dislikes, personality, humor, his questions to her, his routine. Everything because it meant that she was that much closer to figuring out who he was. However she continued to walk the thin line between discreet and outright asking for his identity.

She knew him, she knew this-

"TSUKINO!"

Her blood and face froze over, the blonde's present mind coming back full circle. She was in class, with her phone clearly displayed in her hand, out in the open in plain view.

Craning her head up to see the red, wrinkled face of one, Professor Shiro, Usagi smiled weakly.

"I can explain this?"

* * *

No one liked talking to their school counselor. It was a bit awkward and very boring on all counts. But Usagi, sweet and cheery Usagi, _loathed_ talking to hers.

Here she was, twenty-four and expected to talk about her feelings to a woman who (she wouldn't say hated but there was a certain disdain she had against her) she didn't necessarily feel comfortable with. For god sakes, why did she still need a counselor in grad school of all places.

"So Tsukino-san," the said counselor stated, Usagi's university file held up in front of her face, "Professor Shiro has written up an extensive report on all your….. _incidents_."

Usagi shrugged. "Well I wouldn't call them _incidents_ really…."

"Anyway," the pale woman cut in, "I can see that you and him don't really have the most uhhh positive teacher-student relationship."

"Listen Ms.-"

"Tsukino," she dropped the folder onto her shiny wooden desk, her ghastly face coming into full view which was anything but pleasant for Usagi, "We're friends in this office. So just call me by my first name, why so formal?"

The blonde looked up to meet the redhead's piercing gaze that was probably meant to be friendly but instead made her shift in the chair. "Well to be fair Ms. Kessho we aren't the best of-"

"No, no, no," she sharply jabbed in, one of her long, acrylic black nails tapping against the metal name plate that sat right in front of Usagi.

The grad student sighed, closing her eyes in defeat. "Fine. To be fair... _Beryl_ , I don't really think you and I are really that close. I only come to you when I register for classes or maybe if I need information on certain requirements."

"See," the school counselor pointed at nothing, "That's the problem. Maybe we should go out for coffee or lunch and get to know each other."

Usagi froze and felt bile rise in her throat. "I don't think that's really a good idea."

"Phish posh," Beryl flicked her hand back and forth, baring a toothy smile at her student, "I would love to get to know you better Tsukino-san."

Fear rocked her body and the grad student could only imagine what the woman wanted to know about her. "Maybe we should just focus on my file and problem with Professor Shiro," the blonde quickly redirected. "Shall we?"

The redhead looked down again at the file before her. "Very well. I can have a talk with Professor Shiro and convince him to reconsider you, after all he's the only one who teaches that particular class."

Usagi exhaled in relief. "Thank you Ms.-I mean Beryl."

"No problem Tsukino-san," a long skinny hand landed on hers in the act of comfort but it really just made her skin crawl, "Friends help friends."

"Righhhhhttt," the grad student slowly slid her hand out underneath of Beryl's pale one, all the while plastering a fake smile on her face, hoping that it masked her discomfort. "Now that we're done here…."

Quickly the school counselor stood up with faux hurt on her face. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

Usagi blinked and looked around the chair to see if she did drop something and forgot. "I don't think so-"

"You forgot your hug!"

Without warning, the blonde was crushed into a big bear hug in which she got a face full of blade straight hair that was so vividly red that you could have sworn the woman had bathed in blood. The smell of strawberries assaulted her senses, and even with her love of fruit, Usagi still found herself gagging at the intense scent.

Arms still at her sides, Usagi could only thank the gods when Beryl finally pulled back, pushing her to arm's length and smile still sketched on her thin face. "See? Did that feel better?"

' _If I say yes will I be able to go?'_ "Yeaaa, I feel so much better."

The redhead smiled, her chalk white skin stretching even more to accommodate the smile. "Good. I'll walk you out Tsukino-san."

Singing hallelujah in her mind, Usagi genuinely grinned as the door to the office opened and she saw the light at the end of the tunnel, or hallway really.

"You know Tsukino-san," Beryl pointed out, arm slung around the student's shoulders, "I bet you that in another life, you and I were the best of friends."

Usagi didn't have enough strength in her body to not let a blonde eyebrow rise in disbelief. " _Yeaaaa_ , we probably were."

The woman's vibrant green eyes flashed along with her white teeth, Usagi feeling like a small mouse under a cat's gaze. "Don't worry Tsukino, I'll get you back in Shiro's class in no time."

"Thanks….Beryl," she responded reluctantly before dancing out of the woman's embrace. "I'll see you." ' _-hopefully never again.'_

In quick strides, the blonde strode down the hallway out of the counseling offices. Somehow she highly doubted that her and Beryl were anything a kin to friends in any type of lifetime.

* * *

"When are the other girls coming over," Usagi shouted at the door while she wringed out the last of the droplets from her long hair. "It's been forever since we've gotten together for a silly sleepover!"

After a few seconds, a voice responded. "Yea! Mako texted me a little bit ago!"

"Oh okay!" Drying off a few chunks of hair, she flung the fluffy towel onto the hamper, moving to pull her clean strands into a big bun on the top of her head. Examining her fresh appearance in the mirror, the blonde wondered just how exactly some people were able to look so amazing and sexy after showering while she looked like a drowned rat in pink pajamas.

Shrugging, she reached into her purse to fish out her phone, hoping for another response from chess boy (that was now his name in her contacts). Not feeling the cool surface of the screen brush against her fingertips, Usagi fully grabbed her purse and shifted through it.

How was it possible?! She had sent a response back before taking the shower. And no one else-

Blue turned to stormy blue and pale skin dusted violent red.

"MINAKO!"

Within the next moment, the bathroom door flew open while the red-ribboned blonde scrambled to get off the bed before her friend could strangle her. "Usagi! Wait, wait, wait-"

"GIVE ME THE PHONE MINAKO!"

Minako saw her life flash in front of her when Usagi vaulted onto the bed and tackled her down, crazed eyes and foaming at the mouth. Both blonde friends struggled against each other, pulling at limbs and loose strands of light hair.

Finally, Usagi was on top and was able to pin down Minako's hands to the bed.

"MINAKO WHERE IS IT! TELL ME!"

The blonde grunted and strained to free herself from her friend's sudden, incredible strength. "I have no idea what you're talking about Usa! I don't know where your phone is I swear!"

Abruptly, Usagi looked down to see and hear Minako's right breast vibrate and ding from underneath her lace nightgown. The fashion designer sighed and scrunched her eyes closed. "I know I should have turned off the sound….."

Fumbling for a few awkward seconds with her friend's breast, Usagi pulled the sparkling phone out from the bra cup while leaping off the bed and Minako. "If you said anything to him-"

Sitting up to fruitlessly push her short gown up, Minako breathed out. "It was just innocent questions! Relax!"

Usagi tapped on her messages icon and quickly brought her first text conversation to see what exactly Minako had deemed innocent questions. She swiped up to see the responses and became mortified.

"YOU ASKED HIM WHAT HIS BODY COUNT WAS AND WHAT HIS FAVORITE POSITION IS IN SEX?!"

The golden blonde sat perfectly content on the edge of the bed, fluffing her tousled hair, not minding one bit at what her friend had just said. "I mean, yea I did. What you were asking was just silly little questions. I needed real answers to serious questions."

Giving up on reasoning with her, Usagi turned back to the phone, relieved to see that he hadn't seen it just yet but there was nothing she could do to stop him from seeing them, they were already sent out.

Hopeless and desperate to repair the damage in anyway, the blonde grad student quickly typed out the truth and prayed that he would actually believe her.

" _I'm so sorry! My friend had my phone and texted you those questions from before! You do not have to answer them!'_

Pressing send, hearing the little whirl as it went, Usagi tossed the phone onto her vanity nearby. "Minako, what the hell were you thinking asking those questions?!"

"They're important questions! Hello? Have you heard of man whores and gonorrhea Usa?"

"Okay fine, fine! But asking that over text when I'm just getting to know him! And what's with the sex positions?!"

"You can learn a lot from a person's favorite position," she stated matter-of-factly. "Missionary means they play on the safe side and are traditional, probably first lost it to a long-term boyfriend/girlfriend in the past, aren't really that much of an exciting lover-"

"Hey I like missionary!"

Minako paused and smiled. "My point exactly."

Usagi glared at her, ice shooting out. "Whatever. You have no right to go through my texts, whatever reasoning you have. Come on Mina, I want to get to know this guy for real, find out who he is and who he is as a person!"

"Hey what's going on here?" Both blondes turned to see the remaining three guests come into the bedroom, pillows and overnight bags in hand.

"Oh nothing!" Before Usagi could cut off Minako, her phone delivered a text which she promptly looked at with anxiety and while biting her nails.

" _ **Ohhh, that explains it. Got it."**_

She smiled and breathed in relief at his response but she spoke too soon as two more text messages came in, appearing under the first one.

" _ **But just for your friend's reference it's three."**_

" _ **And 'All Hail the Queen'."**_

Her blonde eyebrow upturned dramatically at the second response, confused to what exactly he meant with the phase.

While the others quickly made camp on the floor, Usagi pulled at Minako's arm, pulling her to the side. "Minako," she whispered. "What does 'All Hail the Queen' mean?"

At the unknown phase, the blonde's indigo hues blew up to basketballs, latching onto Usagi's hand and swinging the phone to her view. A smile creeped up onto her face and she had very sparkly eyes. "Oh Usa, oh Usa, oh Usa….you've got a good one."

"But what does it mean?!"

Minako softly rubbed her friend's tense shoulder, the same sly smile on her lips. "In due time my poor innocent angel, in due time."

She walked away, leaving Usagi to stare at her phone screen, more confused than ever.

* * *

After some questionable research on the internet, Usagi did eventually find out what 'All Hail the Queen' was, and regretted right after some certain places started to tingle with excitement.

"I told you that you got a good one didn't I," Minako questioned over the rim of her hot coffee.

"Shut up," the flustered blonde snapped, the permanent blush tattooed on her face for all eternity. "Let's just focus on our new target."

"Right," Minako confirmed, gazing at the near complete list on the table while twisting the dazzling engagement ring around her finger.

Yuko scurried over to them with a tray that was weighed down with their deli sandwiches and side dishes. "Look to my left," he whispered gently as he carefully positioned each plate in front of their respective owners.

Minako narrowed her eyes. "We don't see anything."

"That's because I said to _my_ left, not _your_ left idiots," he hissed. "To the register."

It was there that Usagi's eyes did land on a rather hard person to miss. The tall, lean figure was dressed to kill in a tailored navy blue suit, parted and slicked black hair, clean shaven face which showed off his hard jawline, tanned skin that made him stand out even more, and with the briefcase hanging off his fingertips as well as the smartphone firmly planted in his other hand, Usagi swore you couldn't paint a more perfect portrait of a businessman. Or really, a perfect picture of beauty.

"Okay, deets baka," Minako hissed back as she too took the opportunity of his distraction to give the guy a good once over, very much appreciating his savvy features.

"Businessman, obviously," Yuko pointed out, placing the last dish on the table, "A regular that gets just a black to-go, will come in once and a while to sit and work through papers or something. Doesn't socialize too much but tips really well. I don't know, he might be you guy because I remember back way when that he used to play a few games on that chessboard with some of the elderlies before. He's on the list, I think one of the last ones actually."

Both blondes nodded their heads, digesting the information. A few dots connected in Usagi's head, such as the similarity of playing chess for fun and plus the man's overall demeanor gave off as cocky, which could definitely match with her chess boy's sassy moments.

He looked like the perfect candidate and had the most qualifications out of anybody so far.

"He's looking pretty good on everything," Usagi whispered in their grouping, "Maybe I'll plan out my approach for tomorrow, since he's got more cred at being my guy."

"Good plan," Yuko and Minako echoed in unison, at which both threw glares at each other before Yuko walked off to the counter again.

The pig-tailed blonde observed the man with intense interest, watching as he ordered and paid Wasu, studying his movements.

"What's his name," she asked with squinting eyes.

Minako looked to the list on the table, running a painted finger down to the bottom. "His name is….Mamoru."

"Mamoru," Usagi repeated, the name rolling off her tongue. ' _Mamoru.'_

* * *

" _ **Ever had to poop/pee in the woods before?"**_

" _Once, me and my family were camping and well, you know."_

" _ **Oh, well that's excused I guess."**_

Laying down on her bed, feet flailing in the air, Usagi giggled at the response. The endless questions continued on and each question always had a flare of humor to them, on both sides.

" _Do you believe in ghosts and supernatural?"_

" _ **Yes, I've had some encounters actually."**_

" _Really! Tell me about one?!"_

" _ **No, no, no, no Odango. It's my turn to ask my questions."**_

" _Okay fine fine. Shoot."_

" _ **Have you ever been in love?"**_

Her fingers stilled over the grey keyboard. Flashes and images of past lovers appeared but all she got was aches and not flutters but when she looked to the bubble texts, her heart leapt. Never have they went in so deep with their questions.

" _Yes. I have."_

She thought for a moment and typed again.

" _Have you?"_

It took a few moments of no breathing until finally a ding sounded, and Usagi exhaled.

" _ **Yes, I was once."**_

Questions swirled in her mind, and she bit her lip in thought. Who had he fallen in love with? Why did he say it like it was a sad event?

Remembering his rules from before, Usagi happily texted back a message. She was oh so comfortable with him that she knew their limits and his humor. But his question had definitely left a tension in the air.

* * *

" _I guess we're both just a pair of hopeless romantics then?"_

He smiled, big and wide at the response. His heart leaped into his throat as an image of her flashed in his mind, one where she was smiling and her sapphire eyes dazzling.

She was so beautiful, so funny, so bright and-and amazing….

Running a hand through his midnight hair, the man sighed in frustration, knowing better too let his mind wander to dangerous places like _hope_.

His fingers tapped the screen, continuing the conversation he had with her even though he longed for it to end. Every witty response she sent back would make his heart soar but then fall at the reality she didn't even know who was exactly texting her.

It was just a fantasy and something that could never be.

She could never know.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyday Usagi moves a chess piece and the next day, someone else always moves another. Who is she playing against?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter five readers!!! We got some angst and real story progression. 
> 
> Enjoy and tell me what you thought!!

**Chapter Five**

"Checkmate is when the king is under threat, and when put into check, he can not escape thus trapping him and calling checkmate which is the end of the game."

Usagi bit into her nail as she gazed down at the chessboard in between her and Ami. "Soooo...how exactly do you get checkmate though? How do you trap the king himself?"

Ami sighed, reassembling the board into the same format from before. "Okay, so you see those pieces, how they're aligned with the king over here kind of. That means he's trapped so-"

The blue-eyed blonde bore into the black and white board with hard eyes. Even though she was now in constant contact with her chess opponent and they had developed a friendship of some sorts over text, their game of chess still continued on at the coffee shop.

So far, they were neck and neck, capturing each other's chess pieces in sync and playfully boasting about the small wins in their written conversations. But just recently, he had gained an upper hand on things and slowly, his black knights were creeping up on her lone king. He was coming to capture her king and thus the game would be finished and he would ultimately come out victorious.

And she was scared because she could see the end nearing for the little game. But more importantly the uncertainty that laid ahead.

"Usagi are you listening?"

Her blues hues snapped back up to Ami's ocean blues and gave a sheepish smile. "Will you still be my friend if I were to sayyy...no?"

"Usagi," the blue-haired woman muttered, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her index and thumb.

"Alright enough with the chess lessons," Minako chimed in, cradling a slinky red dress, "Usagi you need to get ready for your _daaaaattttteee._ "

"I know, I know," the blonde rose from the floor, "You don't have to remind me _Mom_."

"You think that's an insult? Your Mom is hot for her age so I'll take it."

Usagi snorted as she grasped the dress in hand and slipped into her bedroom, leaving the door cracked open. "Where did you even get this dress Minako?"

"A little boutique down in Shinagawa, 30% off and on sale," she responded proudly.

The satin material slid against her skin, sending goosebumps all over. It had a simple scoop neckline with an open back that was accented with several straps. She was a bit apprehensive with the few inches of slit that one side had and exposing her thigh even more than already, but why not be bold?

"Ohh I can't wait to send you off to a date I know will be great!"

"Minako-chan how will you know it's going to be great?"

"Hello super genius? Have you not seen her dating history? First it was that weird kid in middle school, then freshman year with those awkward encounters with braces, then it was the, truth be told, jerky football captain that she lost her vir-"

"HEY!"

"Sorry," Minako looked to the door but then to Ami once more in a hushed tone, "The football captain that she lost her ' _flower'_ to. And then college is whole 'nother trilogy on its own."

"I remember the football captain one though," Ami commented, "Masao, he was kind Minako, not jerky."

"Yes he was. Always picking on the nerdy kids and even had the audacity to boast about his big conquest of sacking a virgin! Of course he got what he deserved at the end…," a large wicked grin spread on the blonde's face.

"But didn't he tell Usagi that he loved her with the whole thing with the no-"

"Ha! I still don't believe that he did that! I don't even know how Usagi had believed him!"

"...you guys know I can hear you right?"

Both friends gazed to the slightly ajar door with nervous smiles. " _Sorry._ "

"My point is," Minako stated, "I know that this guy is a good one, could tell he was a gentlemen from a mile away."

"Here's hoping…" The long haired blonde strapped on her black lace heels and proceeded to walk out, makeup and hair skillfully done.

" _Usagi-channn…"_

"Stop with the fawning," she silenced the two as she shakily passed them. "I gotta get going and you guys saying 'awe' does not speed things along."

"But you look so good though," Minako called as her blonde friend came up to the side table that held her dismantled purse.

The bedazzled phone vibrated in Usagi's hand and she swiftly swiped the screen open to reveal her text messages.

" _ **Why did you choose Social Work?"**_

She grinned, their last few exchanges having been all about her and her aspirations in life, something she couldn't ask in risk of revealing his identity.

" _I chose Social Work because I realized that I care too much. My friends always say I care too much about what happens to people, that I emphasize a lot. I love helping people and caring so I decided to do it in a career."_

" _ **You seem like you have a big heart."**_

" _Sometimes that's a bad thing."_

" _ **What do you mean?"**_

"Usagi hello upcoming date with a major hunk here?"

Sapphire eyes tore away from the phone screen and she met Minako's crazed hues of indigo, one hand helplessly waving around her simple black jacket. A sheepish smile later, along with silencing her phone, Usagi was picture perfect and ready to go forward to her predestined date.

"You know," Minako began jokingly as the dressed blonde came to the door, "I was kind of surprised that the guy even said yes. You should have seen her Ami, she spilled her full cup of coffee on herself trying to get his attention, and then he tried to help her which was a mess on its own-"

"I did not spill coffee on myself," Usagi sharply corrected. "I bumped into him and it spilled. He felt sorry so to make it up, I told him he could just take me on a date at the coffee house and buy me a replacement coffee. Thus, this is how we got here-"

"Plusssss," Minako continued on, "Me and my smarty brain came up with the brilliant idea to go on the busiest night at the coffee shop." Out of thin air, the red-ribboned blonde presented to her wide-eyed doctor friend a flashy poster with the bold thick title of " _A Night Under the Caffeine"_ running across the top. "It's like legit a ball for all the regular coffee drinkers. Its combined with trivia, half off prices, jamming music, and so. Much. More!"

When the talkative blonde finished and peeled open one of her eyes to see their reactions, all she observed was some parted mouths and quirked eyebrows. "What? I like advertising."

"Yes Minako-chan," Ami agreed, "We can see that."

"Whatever," Usagi muttered defiantly as she already strutted out of her door and into the industrial-looking hallway, "Ami, feed me a few more _intelligent_ words."

"Usagi just be yourself," the bluenette answered as they walked to the staircase with Minako a few steps behind, looking fondly at the poster in hand, "You don't need to memorize _intelligent_ words to win this guy over, especially if he's the person who's been playing with you."

"Yea, yea, I know….I'm just nervous. What if he realizes how stupid I am and suddenly I stop getting responses?!"

"Then we'll know it was him."

" _Minako_ ," Ami chided scandalously as the offending blonde shrugged. "A little bit more positivity?"

"Hey if the date does go horribly, and she doesn't get any responses from chess boy, we'll have answers at least."

"That's true but," Ami leaned in and even though Usagi could still hear her, whispered, " _You didn't have to say it out loud in front of her."_

"Geez you guys are a huge confidence booster," Usagi added in as they finally reached the descending stairs.

* * *

"So, let me get this straight," he questioned with a twitch of a smile, "Your first job was being forced to dress up as a superhero and asked to dance around defeating evil in front of little kids?"

"Hey whatever paid my food addiction," Usagi defended herself with a laugh, "A girl's gotta do what she's gotta do."

He laughed good-heartily, a sexy rumble that made a tingle go up her body as crowds of people teemed around them, enjoying the lively, albeit chilly, autumn night. She had never seen so many people fill the coffee house, some faces she knew well due to her morning routine but some that were completely faceless, which wasn't entirely surprising since she always had trouble remembering faces…

But it was just a stroke of luck that the two at least found an open table to sit at with what seemed to be the entire population of Tokyo in one space.

"So businessman," she teased, "What exactly do you do when you're not bumping into girls and spilling their coffee?"

He chuckled again. "Well I run my father's business since he's leaving it to me when he retires. It's a tech company called KashioNow?"

She felt her mouth hang open and blue eyes go so, so wide. "No way. Thee KashioNow, like the same KashioNow that built my very phone?"

"Most likely," Mamoru responded with a smirk.

' _Alright mouth stay cool and foot don't go into my mouth_ ,' the reddening blonde wailed in her head as his perfect white teeth gleamed. ' _You literally have the son of a technology god in front of you, smiling at you. Do not mess this up!'_

Her date, and supposed chess player, was a good conversationalist so her suspicions hit the roof because his responses were so witty and ideal that it reminded her of a certain person that she always texted. Plus he was devastatingly handsome even out of his usual business suit as he wore a pair of charcoal pants and a black wool jacket that looked like so lush and soft and _so_ expensive that it probably cost more than her tuition. Mamoru was literally her wildest dreams.

But even as he talked on and on, and she mindlessly kept up with his voice since he had such a captivating way of engaging people with his deep baritone, Usagi's mind and eyes always settled on the sleek black phone screen (obviously the newest model from his company) that rested near his propped up elbow.

If she could just send a text and when the screen would light up-

"Oh I'm sorry," his voice caused her to look back up and as she did, his hand swiftly caught his phone and shoved the cellular into his jacket pocket, "I shouldn't be so rude and have my phone out when I have a beautiful date sitting right in front of me."

Even as she weakly returned his kind smile, the blonde still cursed in her thoughts, having lost her only confirmation of him. But the action definitely sent suspicions to race in her mind.

"Mamoru-san," she sweetly called, mentally high fiving at her brilliant brain cells, "I realized I never got your phone number, you know just in case I have to call you, like my phone might not be working or something…" ' _Okay, those were the dumb brain cells.'_

"Of course," the dark-haired man nodded, "My number is 080 1-"

"Alright order #137."

Usagi laid deflated on their table as Wasu gingerly placed their respective drink orders in front of them. She was so close, so close to finding out….

"Okay," the usual fidgeting barista stuttered, "Do you g-guys need anything else?"

She sighed and shook her golden head with a frown. "Nah we're good Wasu-chan."

"And I think we're fine but thank you," Mamoru added in.

Glancing up, Usagi caught sight of the sad look on Wasu as he pushed past some customers but as her sight roamed she also found a familiar shock of blonde hair that seemed to be attempting to blend into the crowd a few tables away.

Her. Blood. _Boiled_. "Would you excuse me?"

"Yea of-"

"Great." The pig-tailed blonde had already vaulted off her high chair and created a b-line to the two women who were huddled at a table in the corner, one in bulky sunglasses, along with a familiar red bow, and the other appeared to have a scarf wrapped around her head with strands of rich raven hair helplessly escaping from it.

' _You have got to be kidding me…'_

At the sight of the reddening blonde pushing past the crowds, coming directly towards them, the woman with the sunglasses desperately tried to make it look like they were engrossed in a stimulating conversation.

"...I said that I'm for sure not going to wear stripes with fur. That is like the biggest fashion disaster ever!"

" _Oh my god_ ," the other muttered under her breath as Usagi finally reached their table with steam flowing out of her ears.

"Well hello young lad-"

"Shut it Minako why are you here!? And is that you Rei?!"

The woman flinched and avoided any eye contact. " _Noooo….."_ A few beats later, and a defeated huff, the scarfed woman untied the floral fabric and revealed her jet black locks and regal face that displayed an apologetic frown.

The black-haired woman soon hissed as she was hit squarely in the shoulder with sharp orange nails. "What are you doing we almost had her?!"

"Minako you're still wearing your damn bow," Rei argued as she folded up the thin scarf, "I don't think we ever 'had her' baka."

"Whatever," the blonde finally slipped off the boxy glasses, pools of indigos being shown, "How's the date going?"

Usagi nearly tore out her pigtails at the causal tone of Minako's voice. "First why the heck are you guys here!"

"You're not the only one that loves a good night out on the town...in a coffee shop," Minako drawled on.

The ebony haired woman rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Alright it doesn't matter why we're here exactly-"

"- like to spy on my date or something," Usagi supplied.

" _Details, details_ ," Minako chanted softly, "Just tell us how the date is going with the hunk!"

The bunned blonde sighed, defeated, and gave in, a part of her wishing that her friends were a bit more _subtle_ and maybe _normal?_ "I mean it's fine so far," Usagi admitted hesitantly, "But I don't know if he's the one."

Violet and indigo eyes slid to the man in the tailored suit across the room. "He is a nice piece of man at least," Minako cheekily commented.

"Why don't you just ask for his phone number," the black-haired lawyer asked as she ignored the comment.

"I tried before but we got interrupted-"

"Then go do it now! Why the hell are you still talking to us?!" Minako's eyes practically bugged out of her head, her foot gearing up to kick her friend in the shin with a spiky heel. "You think you're the only one who's dying to figure out this whole chess fiasco!"

Usagi gaped at them as she took a few _safe_ steps away from her friend's very sharpened Louis Vuitton shoe wear. "Well I-"

" _Go_ ," the two chorused harshly with narrowed eyes.

* * *

Walking back to her table, Usagi briefly wondered that even if Mamoru wasn't her chess boy, the dark-haired man was still one of the most kindest, gorgeous, well-meaning, succu-

"So you go to Tokyo-U huh?"

The blue-eyed blonde stopped a few feet away from her currently _occupied_ seat that held a slip of a smiling girl who was twirling a piece of chestnut hair in her nimble fingers.

"Yea I do," her annoyingly high voice (even Usagi flinched at the pitch), "Maybe you could come by one time and I can give you a tour or something…"

The suggestion in her mere tone and the glint in her big eyes made Usagi's skin crawl and bile rise in her constricting throat, suddenly finding it hard to swallow. Standing there in her dainty red dress with the slit, she had never felt more small or plain in her life compared to the curves and image of another girl.

Her date slyly slid the written card away from the young girl and even with the added in noise of the loud people around her, she still heard the husky response, "I'll definitely think about it."

The girl, who looked no more than a sophomore in college, flicked a lock of her hair off her bare shoulder and left him with a flirty smile.

Usagi felt she was in a time warp, that suddenly she was thrown back into her high school years when she caught Masao cheating on her, or when all the girls consoled her after her college boyfriend, who she loved, dumped her after a year together. It was just like before all those times where she got hurt….

She dove into the crowd of people, thanking the heavens that Mamoru had his back turned towards her because she wasn't going to make a scene, she wasn't going to cry about it. It was stupid and ridiculous to have the idea of caring over someone she met yesterday.

Yet again, here she was falling for someone she may have never met, someone she communicates with only through texts.

What's wrong with her? Why couldn't she just stop, stop trying to find the romantic fairytale of a noble prince who would love her and they could live in a castle in peace and harmony-

' _You are such an idiot and a loser,'_ she scolded herself, being so childish and nostalgic.

Pushing past coffee-drinkers and fun-going adults who were having the time of their lives on Friday night after a long vigorous week of work or classes, Usagi felt a vibration run through her body. She wiped away a tear and struck the home button with her shaky finger to see the message.

" _ **One heck of a date you got there."**_

Her sapphire eyes went to the size of basketballs. She whipped around to catch a glance of Mamoru who was blankly staring at the crowd, chin in his propped up hand, looking every bit nonchalant.

Usagi's manicured fingers flew across the digital keyboard.

" _Are you here?"_

She hit send and waited with bated breath to see if a vibration would ring in the black-haired Adonis's jacket pocket. She waited long and hard for several seconds until again, a vibration from the phone made her jump three feet in the air.

" _ **I like coffee, how could I not show up?"**_

The blonde picked up her head and observed her date, who had not moved an inch.

Mamoru wasn't….

Usagi pushed and excused her way through the flocks of mingling bodies who would glare at her back and comment on such a rude action but she didn't care because she had to get there.

When her and Mamoru had come in initially, the pigtailed blonde had noted that no new piece had moved on the board and thought nothing of it since she was utterly convinced that her opponent was right next her so she didn't have to watch the board like a hawk.

But as she stood with shaky legs in front of the wooden board, the recent capture of one of her knights resting off to the side and a slip of paper poked out the bottom of it.

In that same infuriatingly neat writing, it read:

" _Catch me if you can Blondie."_

Usagi nearly got whiplash as she scanned the bustling shop around her, craning her head to catch someone's eyes, darting looks in the corners and edges of the first floor.

Her heart picked up and she plunged into the crowd, moving through people, again with the looks and comments but not caring because he was _here_ , he was here somewhere. She would have answers, questions still but he would answer the, because there was something about this person that sent her in a whirlwind of emotions and made her blush like she was fourteen again.

Usagi bumped past swift baristas, doting couples, groups of comrades, college students, older pairs - past everyone who wasn't important to her right now. She didn't even know _who_ she was looking for but maybe she would know if she found him.

He cared and there was a reason why he kept his identity a secret, she could feel it and the feeling ate at her because she wanted him to know that -

"Usagi relax!"

Suddenly she was staring crazy-eyed in front of Minako and Rei who observed her with confused eyebrows and anxious crinkled eyes.

"What's wrong girl," Minako leaned in to talk with the mess of the crowd they were in, "It's like you're running a marathon or something."

"He's here," the strung up grad student huffed out, "He's here somewhere."

"W-wait wait how do you know he's here," her black-haired friend demanded as Minako was already bracing herself on her tippy-toes and looking over the sea of women and men surrounding them.

"I know he's here because he-"

"Blondie!"

The call made her freeze in her words and in her mind.

"Got a hot chocolate for Blondie!"

All three women turned in unison to the pick-up counter behind them where the bearded barista was hollering out the order.

"Hot chocolate for-"

"Who ordered this?"

The man looked directly at her and his eyes narrowed in annoyance. "I don't know. I just call out the drinks."

"Then who took the damn order," Usagi pleaded with anger, "I need to know who ordered this!"

"Lady," he bit out roughly, "If this drink's yours, take it and leave. I have a job to do."

Her small hand clenching up into a ball, Usagi swiped the container from the counter and stomped away with a few curses to the older man, who had no right to treat her like that, especially since he looked new to the shop.

She examined the cup, her only viable clue, but was discouraged to find only the baristas writing spelling out " _Blondie"_ and nothing much else besides the order itself. All the workers were running around behind the counter and any that were left were roaming around the room making sure everyone was taken care of - it would be pointless to try and ask if they remember one order of an especially popular drink during this time of the year.

"Hey he bought you a hot chocolate," Minako cheerfully announced but whimpered when Rei pinched her, gesturing to Usagi's fallen face.

" _ **You missed."**_

She clutched the phone in her fingers, so much so that it began to tremble and the knuckles shifted to a ghost white.

' _Why can't I just meet him? Why is he avoiding me?'_

"Usagi.."

A droplet crashed onto the lit phone screen. "I'm fine, I'm fine," the pig-tailed blonde sniffled, using her arm to wipe away anymore moisture that was being produced by her watery eyes. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"What did he say?"

"It's nothing," she swatted away Rei's hand and strolled past her worrisome friends to the trashcan where she chucked the hot drink. "I'm going home so you guys can leave too."

Minako reached out but was taken back by a sober looking Rei who knew that their normally bubbly blonde needed some space and time during situations like this.

The rest of the night went by in a blur to Usagi, having told her handsome, but two-timing, date that she wanted to depart then.

As the two exited the shop and into chilly breeze of a downtown street, Usagi felt the nagging continue in her head as they were about to part ways. She had to know for sure.

"Mamoru?"

He looked up from the sidewalk to her with confused eyes. "Yea?"

"I never got your phone number," she said with a weak grin. "You mind?"

"No of course not," he responded. "My number is (080) 189-5456."

She stopped listening after he said 189. "Thanks." And the pigtailed blonde twirled on her heel and shuffled away from the confused man who was questioning why she hadn't written it down but soon he walked off too, finding the loss of her not too hard.

He was startled out of his thoughts by his vibrating phone and his dark emerald eyes blinked at the screen. "Hello Mamoru Kashio of KashioNow….."

* * *

Usagi came home in a daze and anxious state, with the straps of the saucy dress sliding off her narrow shoulders and heels dangling off chipped fingers, wondering how she was supposed to go on until her phone vibrated with a new text message lighting her screen, and she felt her blood grow hot and furious once more.

" _ **Sooooo…..how was the hot chocolate?"**_

She visibly shook as she squeezed the device in her hand as if it was a lifeline. His witty humor and comments were no longer amusing, just annoying and degrading.

" _Why are you doing this?"_

" _ **What?"**_

" _Why don't you want to meet me? Why did you avoid me like tonight?"_

" _ **Blondie do I have to remind you of the rules here?"**_

She angrily jabbed at her screen. " _I am sick of the rules! It's bullshit and I'm tired of it because it's not fair."_

" _ **Blondie please-"**_

She didn't have the patience to let the next text bubble pop up, even when the three little dots that indicated he was typing, clearly appeared.

" _Is this a whole game to you? Just make me go crazy with you laughing behind the screen? Some creep with a phone who loves to play with a girl's heart? Do you even know me? Do you know my damn name or Blondie is just easier to remember? We can't meet because once we do, your fun is over?"_

Usagi didn't even register the moisture falling from her eyes until they splattered against the screen, hot and weeping. ' _Why am I so naive and stupid, falling for some guy who I don't know, maybe a stalker or creep or some jerk who thought he would have fun with cutting down a poor girl's confidence.'_

" _Am I not pretty enough or something? Too annoying, too clingy, too stupid, too idiotic for your taste because I get that a lot. I know I'm not perfect, not even close but just tell me the truth."_

No response for six minutes but the little check mark told her that he obviously saw the long slew of bubble texts she sent. He saw, he read, yet he doesn't respond. ' _At least now I can move on.'_

Somehow she will, but no time soon.

But her phone buzzed on the coffee table when she was about to leave and she snorted, amusing what kind of reply he could possibly give.

It was just one word but that one word collided into her being - _into her heart -_ stealing a breath.

" _ **Usagi."**_

Trembling hands wrote back. " _What?"_

" _ **That's your name, I know your name. I**_ _ **'ve heard them call it for your orders. I know your name but I just don't use it."**_

She smacked her lips and struggled to swallow. " _Oh."_

What else could she say? ' _Sorry I accused you of not knowing my name mysterious chess player?'_

The pigtailed blonde was about to click off her phone but another message popped up that made her head spin even more.

" _ **And you're wrong. You are beautiful and perfect in your own way."**_

She cocked her head, tailored eyebrows furrowing. " _What do you mean?"_

" _ **You just mentioned how you thought you weren't pretty enough or perfect and I just wanted to say you're wrong."**_

Usagi pondered for just mere second before writing back, " _Tell me."_

" _ **What?"**_

" _Tell me how I'm wrong. Tell me what you want to say."_

He didn't respond for a long time, almost to the point that she thought he had dropped their conversation. But he did respond and the tingles went up and down her body as she ate up his entire message.

" _ **You're insanely beautiful. You have this smile that makes other people smile, it's just so bright and happy and infectious. And when that blonde friend of yours makes you laugh, it's just so angelic. Usagi, you have no idea how you affect people, how just a smile from you can make someone's entire day turn around or even a frown from you can make them feel your sadness. You're, you. Stunning, dazzling, happy you."**_

She stared at the words intensely, as if a second away would make them disappear from her sight. Never has she gotten such an admiration from anyone, especially not from the opposite sex. Too shocked and numb from the message, she didn't respond as quickly and something more came in.

" _ **I've seen you sit at that coffee shop, doing your late night assignments, being fueled on only caffeine and you would play with your hair or nibble on your thumb. You looked so focused and stressed out but so adorable and-"**_

The text cut off until he wrote another text bubble.

" _ **I'm sorry, you said to be honest and I was. I'm sorry, it was inappropriate for me to go on like that."**_

Fear seized her and finally, the sensation in her thumbs returned. " _No, no. It's okay. No one's really ever said that kind of stuff to me, well best friends excluded. But I don't get that kind of flattery I guess."_

" _ **Well everyone deserves to have someone who does give them that kind of flattery. You deserve to have flowers on your doorstep, and coffee in the morning, someone to kiss you every hour of the day, go on little dates, remind you of how beautiful you are and how much they love you."**_

Her heart skipped three beats.

" _ **You should have that."**_

For a time, she just sat on her rose colored couch, mesmerized to the messages on her phone. But finally something popped into her head.

" _I get hurt a lot."_

" _ **What?"**_

" _Before, you asked me why I thought having a big heart was bad. It's because of that big heart that I get hurt a lot, that's all I have been getting. Hurt."_

" _ **I'm sorry."**_

She needed more. " _You said you were in love once. Would you be okay to talk about it?"_

She paused, her finger over the screen but she let it drop and press send. She swallowed thickly in relief when his reply came.

" _ **I was in high school but I knew the girl for years because of mutual friends and classes from before. She was-"**_

The message stopped again until he replied after thinking over it.

" _ **She was the one person who made me truly feel amazing and happy because she was the most sunshiny person you could ever meet. I loved her, I knew that but I knew she wouldn't see me as the same, I wasn't really the most ideal guy. So I never told her directly and I still regret it."**_

" _I'm sorry, I know how you feel."_

" _ **What is it you called us? A pair of hopeless romantics."**_

" _Yea, I guess."_

That little tidbit, that shred of his life he shared so willingly….she wanted even more.

" _Tell me more, more about you."_

" _ **Like what?"**_

" _The happiest moments in your life, the saddest, your dream for the future, anything that's about you, I want to know you and who you are without a name."_

The three dots popped up on the screen and she gazed at the jumping spheres for a minute, then two minutes, then ten minutes until finally -

" _ **Okay."**_

There spelled out in paragraphs on texts was the life of her mysterious player, going into the aspects of his live hood, giving what she craved most: intimacy in its purest form, and she soaked it all in as she read, considerate and understanding.

And she was patient as her chess mate wrote the paragraphs she had so desired, full of all the tiniest details of his life that she was clueless about but read with desperation as each text bubble popped up on her screen.

" _ **I lost my parents in a car crash when I was younger….I couldn't remember...the orphanage was my home until I was fifteen…...I was shy and kept to myself…...I graduated and my dream is to be a doctor to help people…."**_

Never had she been a bookworm, never read so fast in her life until that whole night where it was almost two a.m. and Usagi still read his replies with drive up until her blurry and wet vision were focusing on the notification that stated her phone only had five percent of battery left.

Somehow she was laid on her made bed, still clad in her short dress that had ridded up to her hips, large beads of her tears soaking the skin beneath her droopy eyes and her alarm clock's big red numbers practically shouting at her to sleep because god knows she's going to be running late to class tomorrow morning even more than usual.

One more bubble emerged but this time it was a link to something.

" _ **This is my favorite song because of the melody it carries. I figured you might like it too."**_

With the pad of her thumb, Usagi pressed the little triangle in the middle of the square and she was weeping for a new reason.

The flow of the music with the careful strumming of the violin as it sang its sorrow song, but the innocent keys of the cheerful piano as the music raised to new heights and everything seemed okay again even with the slow and distant mourning of the violin in the background, screaming out its sorrow but acceptance. You could imagine the stories that would follow the sheet of music; a lost love, a family member that left too soon, friendships forgotten, tragedy beyond words, death but then life after….

Tears seeped into her pillow case as she nestled even further into the featherbed material, the steady music bouncing off the colorful walls of her darkened bedroom. Eyes meeting the screen again, she noticed the name to the instrumental song pop up: " _Aishiteru."_ The lump in her throat got thicker and the tears became more urgent, all over a simple title of a tear-jerking song he had sent her. It meant nothing, it was just his move to show her a song he liked, ' _nothing more dummy.'_

" _Thank you."_ The blonde was surprised to find she could actually answer correctly with the amount of emotions sticking in her throat like peanut butter, and she barely got her swallow down.

" _ **I want to meet you face to face. I do, more than anything. But I'm just not ready. Not yet."**_

The shimmers of salty tears arose in the crow's feet of her eyes and the little ball of sadness built up again but, she was at peace with it.

He wanted to meet but was scared to for whatever reason and she could respect that, she could _understand_ that. She was scared as well because, what if she didn't live up to the dream, just fell flat of expectations as always in her love life.

She understood the fear.

So she responded with a miserable smile and typed up her response and hit sent with a hesitation but resolve.

" _Okay."_


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyday Usagi moves a chess piece and the next day, someone else always moves another. Who is she playing against?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter six y'all!! Enjoy some more antics and cat and mouse!! The reveal is coming up soon!!!
> 
> Enjoy and tell me what you thought!!

**Chapter Six**

"So Mamoru isn't-"

"Nope."

"Like at all? Are you sure?"

Usagi examined the spoon full of frozen yogurt with lazy interest, then she popped it into her mouth. "Yup," she mumbled while savoring the treat.

The tall brunette straightened the last piece of cake left on the silver platter that was resting on the cleaned counter. "I mean maybe-"

"Mako, Mamoru Kashio is not my mystery chess boy," the blonde spat out with annoyance as she stuffed another chunk of birthday cake-flavored frozen yogurt. "He's just a womanizing playboy who has lots of money and LOTS of interest in college girls."

"Honey!" A tall handsome man wobbled out of the kitchen door, boxes tittering dangerously in his arms. "Where?!"

Makoto huffed furiously as she took in the helpless sight her husband made. "I told you to drop the boxes off at the freezer you idiot!"

"I thought you said they wer-"

"Sweetie-pie don't you see I'm helping our poor Usagi-chan with her hopeless romantic life that is non-existent besides the unknown chess opponent she has that is avoiding to reveal himself to us!"

While the brown-haired man stared bug-eyed and slowly retreated to the safety of the bakery's kitchen, Usagi massaged her forehead and muttered " _subtle Mako-chan_."

"Anyway," the brunette addressed the blonde after turning back around, "Your love problems."

"I do not have love problems Mako-chan," the grad student defended, shoving the filled spoon in her mouth again.

"Acceptance is always the first step Usa."

"Mako!" The audacity that one of her dearest friends would say that - then again, even she had to admit that the statement held some weight and wasn't far off.

Makoto giggled at the angered expression her adorable friend attempted to make. "Usagi-chan you can't seriously tell me that you think your love history is the most healthiest or successful."

The pig-tailed blonde darted her eyes back and forth, scrunching up her face. "It's not the most….. _ideal,_ yes."

"I'm just saying that maybe this chess boy is just another lost cause," Mako stated bluntly as she wiped the counter mindlessly. "Don't-"

"-get my hopes up, don't pull a 'Usagi' yada yada yada," Usagi twirled the plastic spoon around with a bored face, "It's like hearing a broken record with you four." Rage-filled, she scooped out the last of the frozen treat that remain at the bottom and plunged the spoon into the depths of her mouth, shivering as the cold sensation spread through her chest and bit into her head. "Mako-chan, give me two slices of the chocolate cake."

Her friend's emerald hues widened immensely. "But what about your pledge for decreasing calorie intak-"

"Just give me the fucking chocolate cake Mako!"

A plate, that held two slices of pudding-oozing-cake and a clean fork, were slid in front of the twitching blonde.

Feeling eyes - _multiple_ sets of eyes - Usagi swiveled around in her seat to see the handful of customers that stared at her in fear and bewilderment, making it very obvious that they had overheard her obscene exclamation.

A tinge of pink rose in her cheeks and she smiled sheepishly at the gawking elderly and young. "Sorry, just going through some stuff. That time of the month and such…."

Still, they continued to stare. "Cramps," she spat, "Continue on with your meals."

Usagi came back around with a red face but a determined look as she dug into her treat, wolfing down the cake slices as Makoto walked away, shaking her head and mumbling how Usagi didn't need the extra sugar in her blood.

* * *

" _Your favorite book?"_

" _ **Hard choices with literary works like F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jane Austen, Shakespeare, Dickens, etc.**_

" _You are such a nerd."_

" _ **We all have our interests Odango."**_

She chuckled out loud, taking a sip from her coffee cup, smiling a little as she moved another chess piece in front of her. Though she cast a dark look at all the white chess pieces that were captured by him, Usagi still felt a shimmer of hope no matter how small.

He was _good._ She wasn't.

* * *

' _Okay focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus….Jean Piaget - swiss cheese dude - is most known for his theory of cognitive development that observed the notion of how children develop intellectually throughout their phase of childhood and coming into young adult. His theory was triumphantly helpful to blah blah - blah blah…..'_

Usagi's fingers dug circles into her aching temples, bloodshot eyes fluttering in an attempt to stay reading and learning. Scribbled papers, open binders, crazily highlighted textbooks laid on the bright white desk with a lone shade lamp lighting it all for the one library straggler.

It was a perfect, clear Friday night that her friends were probably taking full advantage of, dancing and drinking the hours away until the break of dawn, and here in the Tama Art University library did her grad student butt stay glued to a chair, hunched over a semester's worth of material that had to be learned within a two day span.

Her environment was definitely stimulating with the elegant white curves of the high ceilings, impeccable architecture, and the dazzling starry night overlooks, showcased by the window right in front of her desk space, but - _for all that was good and holy in the world_ \- Usagi wanted to leave and never come back to learn the horror that was Professor Shiro's study guides.

She chugged down a shot of espresso from her paper cup and threaded her fingers back in her hair, refocusing on the words that seemed to keep moving on her page - or maybe they weren't moving and she had finally hit her insanity point?

A text ding rang out at the wrong second as an elderly librarian was passing then, giving the blonde a pointed look and a sharp ' _shush_ '.

Usagi waved a hand in apology and flipped the phone to reveal the lit screen, also snapping off her volume.

" _ **Whatcha doin?"**_

She smiled and that warm fuzzy feeling settled in the pit of her stomach again. It was annoying and unsettling but, not uncomfortable. More just exciting and thrilling.

" _Just totally breaking my neck and eyes trying to study over a stupid test my stupid professor set up. Yay me."_

Her eyebrows raised, remembering his text of being in school for medicine - a.k.a. _dude is smart in her eyes._

" _ **Oh I'm sorry. I'll let you get back to it then ;)"**_

"No," she belted, cringing when a harsh ' _shush_ ' rang out again.

" _I mean we can keep talking. Just casual. I might need help or something."_

It was a full, stressful, nail-biting minute later when a coy response came.

" _ **What do you need help wittthhh?"**_

 _Asshole,_ she thought while grinning. " _Well I don't know if you're versed in the ways of psychology."_

" _ **I know a thing."**_

" _ **Or two."**_

She spent the next two hours in the thin light of one lamp, deep within the pages of notebooks and textbooks. Usagi scribbled and penciled in lines, diagrams, charts, data while analyzing the informational messages on her phone that provided tips and definitions that would aid her.

Even though she was still floundering and shaken for the upcoming hell test when she was ushered out of the closing library, her blushing grin stayed in place.

She arrived home and the man was still sending her links and screenshots of studying material, musical scores that were proven to stimulate brain cells, anything remotely related to her studying, he snapped and sent to her - and for the first time ever in her life, she was actually smiling after a grueling study session all because of a nerdy chess boy who was so desperately trying to help her.

With a raised eyebrow, she thought how it could be one of the most romantic things anyone had ever done for her and then pitifully smiled at her pathetic excuse of a love life.

* * *

_Gentle fingertips traced patterns into her shaking thighs, petal-soft lips fluttered on her quickened pulse at the crook of her neck._

" _Usagi…" She shuddered as the voice whispered in the shell of her, their breath creating goosebumps down her entire body. It was all so blurry and unclear but she felt her body hot and flush against someone else's - hard and warm was the embrace and she had absolutely no desire to leave it anytime soon._

" _Usagi, Usagi." Over and over would the quiet, deep voice repeat her name, like a mantra, and each time she felt her nails digging deeper into the flesh of their strong arms. "Usagi.."_

_His mouth latched onto that special spot of her neck where she would cry out, groan, and her eyelids fluttered like crazy because my god was it one of the most amazing feelings._

" _Please," she ground out, desperate to hold onto him, the fantasy and pleasure his mouth was doing to her skin._

_His hands skimmed the top of her thighs and when those cool fingertips dipped further to her inner thighs, her breath quickened immensely. "Please…"_

_Her hands dug in further and his voice, unknown but deep and velvet like she imagined, rumbled as he chuckled against the skin of her neck, his smirk pressing into her. "Not so fast Blondie."_

_The mere name made her eyes peel open and have reality crash back down into her trembling being. His head moved from her neck and she shook not with pleasure but grief._

_His face was a mess of haze and fog, dizzy swirls of a dream, because she didn't know what he looked like, he was a complete mystery in appearance to her. Did he have light or dark hair, what color eyes? Was he tall or short? Lean or thick? Does he smile a lot?_

_Who was he?_

" _Tell me who you are," she breathed out to the faceless figure, desperate and pleading for his long awaited confession. Even if it was a dream, she needed something to hold onto, to keep her sanity in check._

_A rumble of what seemed to be a chuckle, came from him as the fit figure leaned forward again, puffs of breath hitting her ear, "It's not that easy Odango."_

_Her body shuddered as his warm tongue dipped into her collarbone and groaned loudly as he repeated that nickname, that stupid nickname….._

" _Odango, Odango, Odango….."_

A door slamming sent a sweaty Usagi sitting up in her bed, the same fuzzy, bunny-printed blanket tangled in her long, but still, short legs.

"Usagi-chan," the familiar, strong female voice vibrated through her small apartment, clacks of heels hitting the wood floor accompanying it. "Get up lazy pants!"

Through the loose strands of her hair, Usagi blearily watched as Rei strutted into the musty, darkened bedroom in full lawyer-pantsuit-and-briefcase-glory that only she could pull off as normal.

"Geez you're a mess," she muttered with a disgusted look, doubling taking at the stringy blonde hair bun and hollowed out face.

Usagi shrugged, stretching out her legs. "This is what happens when the devil wants you to take a make-it-or-break-it test on short notice. Here, I am displaying a grad student on the bleak of sanity," she uttered groggily, spotting the highlighted words in open textbooks and notes in disarray at the edge of her bed. "God why did I do this to myself..."

The black-haired woman sighed as she withdrew the pink curtains to let the sunshine flow through. "Odango, always being Odango…."

The blonde rolled her eyes at the comment without fully realizing what exactly was said in an usual phrase. "Yea silly ol-," her entire being froze. ' _Odango, Odango…'_

"REI!" The rumpled up woman bounded from her bed and up to her friend, who nearly fell backwards if it wasn't for a pair of hands landing on her shaky shoulders.

"Wh-Wha-What?!"

"That n-name, th-that nickname," Usagi stuttered nervously, "Where did you get it from?!"

Rei blinked a few times and was the perfect image for 'deer in the headlights'. "Where did I...get it from?"

"YES! WHEN AND WHY DID YOU START CALLING ME ODANGO WOMAN!?"

"Usagi calm-"

"I NEED TO KNOW," the wide-eyed blonde cut off, shaking Rei back and forth.

"Usagi relax! It's something I have always called you remember?!"

"There's no way you're THAT clever!"

"Mayb - hey! I too can be that clever baka!"

Usagi sunk onto her knees, eyes blinking and almost shaking. "B-but it has to - then h-how….."

"Usagi what are you talking about honey?"

" _Odango Atama because the buns look like little odangos…."_

Was the toll of grad school finally hitting her to the point of insanity? Did chess boy even exist or maybe it was her way-over active imagination brought on by stress and malnourishment over her exams? Had it gotten this bad?

"He calls me Odango Rei," Usagi whispered, "How common is that?"

"Wellll….."

The askew blonde closed her eyes in defeat with the sounds of Rei's calm and calculating voice ringing in the back of her mind, lost to her thoughts. Her fingers threaded through the white hairs of her faux fur rug, trying to grasp onto something as her brain churned in her thick skull of a head.

' _Why is it familiar so suddenly? The feeling is almost nostalgic and heavy but light…'_

Years of Rei, all her friends, calling her that stupid hair nickname and never, did it affect her until in this particular situation. How did they all pick it up?

Despite her friends' repeated claims of one of them coming up with the name, Usagi knew in the back of her mind, somewhere deep, that the name was something else, it meant something else at a different time. Why has the meaning for it suddenly changed?

Then it clicked.

It's because _he_ changed it.

* * *

" _ **What's your dream?"**_

" _My dream?"_

" _ **Your purpose, your goal, the future you fantasize."**_

" _My dream."_

" _Its to eventually pass through grad school and advance in my social work field, find a good job and be settled in that said job."_

" _ **Blondie, this isn't a work resume."**_

" _ **I want to know more over what you want to be in life mentally than physically. What does your mind think about when you let it wander?"**_

" _I-I think about, being happy."_

" _Be happy in my job and then eventually I want to be happy in life. I have that simple and boring image in my mind, you know the one with a husband and like 2.5 kids and a big house with a white fence and my whole clan would wake up, get down to breakfast, maybe he would look over the comic section with the kids and we would laugh and smile and just be perfect."_

" _Boring huh?"_

" _ **No."**_

" _ **Your dream sounds beautiful."**_

* * *

' _What's your dream?'_

She thought over the usual but slightly unusual question as she walked back from class, the bustling downtown of Tokyo invading her senses loudly.

' _Why does it sound so familiar?'_

"Usagi!" So lost in her mind, Usagi couldn't register the man addressing her until his arm hooked around hers, causing her whole body to stutter and whirl around on the tall heel to face him.

"Hey what's the big dea- _you_." Her whole body stood straight and she had a strong urge to gag uncontrollable, to run away and hide under her covers. "Wh-are you following me now?"

His long, strong arm was curled over hers and he looked horrible with sagging skin under his bloodshot eyes and his entire being ashy pale. Black greasy hair hung over his piercing gaze and though his body had always been lean and fit, the jerk had slimmed down a few pounds. She beamed in satisfaction over his appearance but more so she wanted to get the hell away from the repulsive touch of his hand that was holding her.

"I just wanted to talk to you," he explained, frustrated, "And you won't answer the phone or-or even see me!"

"Maybe because I don't want to see you or even think of you jackass!"

He gaped at her. "So you're just going to forget everything that we had those months Usa?"

She scoffed. "You think I'm just going to forget about everything that you did to me, what you did with them? Think I'm going to forget all the problems we had even before then? How do you expect me not to react?"

"You're being unreasonable-"

"I'm the unreasonable one!? You're the one who cheated on me! You're the one who blamed everything on me because I was too 'boring', and too 'clingy'. _And_ I was stupid enough to actually believe you and blame myself!"

"You have no idea how I feel right now. I wish I can take everything back!"

"Yea, only because you got caught."

He sucked in his bottom lip, his dark eyes roaming around the area as if trying to find the answer on one of the store fronts or bustling buildings. It was hopeless to really defend himself in this situation and his head fell in defeat at her words.

Usagi scoffed, ripping away her hand, and whirled away from him. She knew that _he_ was not worth her time, he never was.

"Usa!" Rough fingers caged her thin wrist again and pulled her back slightly. "Just listen-"

Usagi's eyes flashed in intense anger at the foreign feel of ragged skin on hers. _How dare he touch her?_ "You take your hands off me or you're about to wake up in a hospital."

"I just need you to listen for one damn time in your life Usa," he pleaded, his own eyes flashing with anger and a sliver of fear ripped through her.

"And I need you to listen and let go of me," she ground out through clenched teeth, struggling against his grip on her arm. Her best course of action judging by the placing and situation, would be a sharp kick to his 'boys' and then an uppercut to the chin. He'll never have kids and probably have a broken jaw, but the assault charge would be well worth it.

In the midst of his pity speech, she geared up her foot, pooling every furious emotion in her body into that one limb, ready to finally have an outlet of complete rage for once.

She was just a second away from letting the foot snap -

"I think you should listen and let go of her."

The smooth, familiar voice sent bursts of delight all over her body like never before, relief flooding her senses but also confusion. She didn't even need to fully turn to spot the brilliant mop of sandy blonde hair or the soft warm green eyes she used to get lost in when she was a teenager. He had always been there to save her, if it wasn't needing a milkshake in her darkest of school days or just someone to talk to, now it was helping fend off creeps. Weird evolution.

"This isn't your concern," the shelf of a cheater spat with anger at Motoki and his grip worsened on her wrist, "It's between me and my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend," Usagi asked incredulously and disgusted, for a moment forgetting the strain on her arm. "I broke up with you almost three months ago!"

"Listen _sir_ ," Motoki mocked, hand coming up to grip the offending arm, "I suggest you leave her alone or you might find yourself in some pain, and not from me." His green eyes slid to a fuming Usagi.

His dark beady eyes remained hard but to the blonde's relief his fingers retracted and her wrist was free from his hold. Usagi stepped back and gave him daggers that she hoped looked venomous. He glared, backing off, walking away.

"I get it, fine," he fired out, "Go ahead and have fun fucking with your golden boyfriend over here Usa."

Usagi shook her head and rolled her eyeballs to the sky, more than thrilled that he had at least left and she didn't have to be charged with any violent crimes.

"How do you always trip into trouble," Motoki breathed out in a puff of cold air.

She chuckled. "Oh please Toki-chan, trouble finds me, I' m the helpless victim."

"Oh yea sure," he deadpanned as he stepped closer and embraced her small figure, her arms wrapping around and coming to a warm hug that felt so close and so long overdue.

* * *

"I see you haven't changed that much."

Usagi paused in her frantic eating to gaze up at an amused Motoki, making her sheepishly dab a napkin at her messy mouth. "S-sorry Toki."

"No, no, no you're fine Usagi-chan," he laughed. "It's good to know that adulthood didn't change my favorite customer too much."

She giggled with him, sipping at her iced tea before swiping up the last gruesome remains of her omelette, and blushing when she burped at the end.

Motoki Furuhata in the flesh, or rather a handsome dark blue tailored suit and a long black overcoat. Her first crush and best (male) friend. After her teenage puppy love wore off when his relationship with Reika had been solidified, she grew to love him more as a brother and dear friend who always shared in her crazy antics and obsessions, even becoming her milkshake dealer, they used to joke. Though she had to notice that aging to his 20s had done wonders to his boyish features, becoming more sharp and mature, taking handsome to different levels. Totally platonic thoughts, of course.

"Thank you so much for the dinner," she said, smile a million watts, "I so needed it after the day I had."

"Yea I noticed," Motoki said, eyebrow raised in curiosity, "So who was the guy you were about to murder?"

Usagi waved her hand, dismissing it. "Ito Youi, revolting, cheating ex-boyfriend that won't stop trying to talk to me. He's all bark, no bite."

"You actually went out with that guy," Motoki questioned, shocked.

Usagi half-smiled. "Well he seemed perfect when we first met. He didn't look that….disturbed in the beginning."

Motoki bit out a laugh, those precious eyes twinkling. "Well, I'm just glad that I stepped in before you could make a scene on the sidewalk."

"What do you mean a scene?"

"Oh please Usagi-chan, I saw where your foot was going," he chuckled.

She shrugged, twirling the ice at the bottom of the glass with her straw, "Saves the next girl a lot of trouble."

"He could have called the cops and got you arrested for assault or battery Usa."

"All bark, no bite," she repeated with nonchalance.

He smiled wide, and those last flames of teenage love ignited in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't believe that it had been at least five months since she had seen her favorite arcade worker and personal milkshake maker. Ever since she did start college years ago, little by little, she forgot many important times and people in her life. Her mind wandered, a lot.

Besides the occasional social media comment or even an update from her mother, Motoki had become lost to her memories. Had her life become so hectic that she was forgetting the most important people in her life, old friends?

When was the last time that her and girls truly sat down or went out (without the involvement of alcohol), and had genuine fun like when they were high schoolers.

"Thank you again so much for taking me out Motoki," Usagi said, face sober but grateful.

"Of course," he bellowed out, "It's been forever since we hung out and I'm actually kind of happy your ex-boyfriend did try to confront you on the street."

She comically widened her eyes, "Oh yea so am I."

"Well only because he gave me the opportunity to have some breakfast with you," he added on, gaining him a smile from her.

"Oh hey how's grad school," Motoki asked, "Your mom told my mom."

Usagi rolled her eyes at her talkative mother - who would never skip a chance to brag about her daughter's little accomplishments. "I mean it's okay - if you could call torture that."

They both chuckled and Usagi in turn asked him how he was doing, being a scientist researcher and all with Reika.

He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I mean it's a process. Reika is doing phenomenal but….you know I was a whiz with science in high school and college but somehow actually being with real scientists just - makes me feel so-"

"Out of place, small, stupid, unfit, unintelligent, a sorry excuse for a young adult," she supplied, "Join the club Toki."

"You gotta give yourself some more credit Usa," Motoki countered, almost pleading, "You're an amazing, smart, bright person, then AND now. You just need more confidence."

The pig-tailed blonde solemnly blinked, looking down, wondering where her confidence did really go. Maybe in the mix of professors stating that she would never, ever become anything worthy, much less help children in distress. Or maybe it was gone on those days she felt like nothing after finding those girls in their beds, the texts, calls, pictures - when it felt like she was never good enough.

Again, her slim shoulders rose and dropped in a careless shrug. "Well, I suppose all great happiness is a little sad."

His blonde eyebrows furrowed a little. "That's from ' _This Side of Paradise'_ ," he stated, "You read F. Scott Fitzgerald."

Usagi clicked open her phone to see the time. "Yea," she confirmed, stuffing her phone in her bag, "A friend recommended him to me."

"Smart friend," he commented with a grin. "You know Usa, speaking of friends, I-"

"Motoki, I'm so sorry but I gotta get going," she lamented, straightening and fixing her skirt, "Finals coming up and all and I have to get somewhere-"

Motoki stood up with her, panicking. "-oh okay sure but Usa I really think you should meet this frie-"

"-but thank you for the breakfast, it was delicious," she gushed, giving him a quick hug, smile, and slipped on her thick wool coat within seconds, Motoki looking dumbfounded as he watched her back leave the chic restaurant in record time.

She loved Motoki, no doubt, but his friends - not so much. The blonde sourly reminisced about the friends she knew from high school and prayed Motoki hadn't actually kept in touch with some of the disgusting ones. Plus being set up by mutual friends never played out right - Usagi shivered, remembering Minako's futile attempts.

In the warmth of the breakfast bar, Motoki sat back down, running a hand through his sandy blonde locks. He cursed under his breath, wallowing in defeat and misery. Here he had been hoping that maybe he could finally fix a past wrong.

* * *

"Jeez how long has this been going now," Wasu asked, personally delivering the hot paper cup to the blonde sitting at the chess table.

Usagi let the strand of gold hair she had been twirling with go and happily took the cup. "Well going by the day that the chess piece was first moved, I wanna _saaaayyy_ one month, four days, and-" she raised her phone to her eyes "-four hours."

His eyebrow quirked.

"But who's counting," she added with a joking smirk.

" _Ohhhh_ so you're the girl," another voice chimed in, making both of their heads turn in the direction of a man a few feet away from them.

Usagi narrowed her eyes at the worker, a soggy mop and water-filled bucket in his hands. "What do you mean ' _the girl?'_ "

"You know, the one who's obsessed with the guy who is supposedly playing ches-"

"Rue don't you have dirty bathroom floors to clean," Wasu nervously cut off.

The man then furrowed his dark eyebrows at his co-worker. "But she is the girl that you and all the others were tal-"

"Dirty floors man," Wasu repeated, glaring but also pleading.

Usagi stood, looking from both coffee house workers with daggers. "Wait, wait, wait - the whole staff knows of me. You guys talk about me?!"

The - _she supposed_ \- janitor boy shrugged his broad shoulders. "Yea, of course. Sometimes they put bets on whether or not the guy is real or if you're just plain crazy."

" _What_ ," Usagi growled, flashing her eyes at Wasu, who choked out a laugh.

"I mean it's all fun and games! Nothing personal! We get bored!"

"What about that time-"

"Rue I swear to god if you keep talking, I'll make sure you're on cleaning duty so much that you'll taste bleach every time you swallow," Wasu threatened with an iron stare that made his co-worker freeze and quickly walk away towards the restrooms.

"Usagi look I'm sorry-"

"You know what, it's okay," she sighed, plopping back down on her chair, elbows on knees, chin in hands, "Sometimes I think I _am_ crazy."

His hand touched her shoulder. "I really do hope you find him. I put my money that he was real and that you'll find him," he informed with a gentle smile.

She returned it with a half-grin. "Thanks." He left her to tend to some customers and she murmured one last part in her head. " _I hope I find him too."_

For once, she just needed a happy ending.

She had been played, cheated on, led on, humiliated, broken in so many ways because her foolish heart carried on hope that she could still get that fairytale ending and breathtaking love that she always dreamed about.

Now, her whole heart was hardening except for one stupid, vital area, where that hope continued to beat. It held to the belief of that a little girl's, whose dream was to have a Prince Charming, on a white stallion, proclaiming his love for her, and only her.

Yes she had many who loved her but still, she felt lonely.

To her, being lonely and still loved by many was rooted to the conclusion that even with so much love, you may not be someone's one and only - that one person who cares so deeply about you that you have a place in their heart that no one else could ever take, time be damned.

She looked to the chess pieces sadly. Funny how life is like chess - one wrong move, and you could lose a piece of yourself.

Who was he?

Leaning in her chair, Usagi thoroughly looked at her limited clues.

_1) He knows/has seen her_

_2) Comes to this coffee house_

_3) Was here on caffeine night_

_4) In med school_

_5) Smartass_

_6) Has super nice handwriting_

_7) Good at chess_

_8) …?_

She could always comb through their texts, collect any other possible hints she could have missed in the excitement of it all. ' _It's not like people put this type of information on their Facebook or Instagram page.'_

Usagi shook her head. ' _No think Usa, think! Who do you know fits at least some of those qualifications? Who was here that night? Who has nice penmanship? Anyone acting up when it was brought up? Who could it freaking be-'_

Her eyes slowly lit up.

Who knew her, who could have easy access to the chess table, who has nice handwriting because of practice on coffee cups, who has been mysteriously helpful in the mess of all it, been nice to her - could have seen her move that very first chess piece in the beginning.

Her lips parted and no sound came out as her brain processed.

It was _him_ all along.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyday Usagi moves a chess piece and the next day, someone else always moves another. Who is she playing against?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Chapter seven!! And closer to the reveal!! 
> 
> Btw this is one of my fave chapters because I finally got use the punchline for the title at the end lol
> 
> Enjoy and tell me what you thought!!

**Chapter Seven**

It had been so obvious! Since the beginning really and she had been so stupid to really chase other leads that led to a dead end when the answer was right in front of her the entire time.

She was so oblivious to miss the obvious signs and of course it was him! It was like those romcom - with dashes of drama and angst - movies that her, Minako, and Makoto go see at the theater. And she was the main character, the love sick, but very lovable girl, who was desperately searching for her soulmate but was overlooking the least - or rather most obvious to the audience - likely person.

But now, she was no longer like the main character because she figured it out and didn't dare to question it.

It had to be him with how many things lined up perfectly. He knew her for years, thus giving motive, he's been suspiciously nice during this whole thing, helpful even. It couldn't be such a far-off guess-

"Usa it's more than a far-off guess," Minako interrupted her babbling friend, "You're like in outer space right now."

The highly caffeinated pigtailed blonde gaped at her friends. "What do you mean! It's sooo obvious now!"

"You actually think that your mysterious chess boy is-"

"Wasureta the barista," Usagi finished loudly for Makoto. "So obvious right?!"

All four beautiful women just stared, waiting for a lengthy explanation of just why it was so obviously obvious to their naïve friend.

"You guys don't believe me?!"

None of them spoke, just stared, threw glances at the others, and sipped at their alcoholic drinks on the outside patio of the restaurant, pleading mentally for one brave soul among them to ask the question that was buzzing in all their minds.

No surprise that the most logical and intelligent of them all decided to go for the kill. "No, it's not that we don't believe you Usagi-chan," Ami explained delicately, finding her words as she talked, "It's just there's no evidence besides what you have speculated."

"Perfect point Ami-chan," the blonde replied, face smug and almost sinister. "And I am fully set on getting that needed evidence to prove my _very_ correct theory."

Rei raised her ebony eyebrows in shock and concern. Her lawyer senses tingling and growing worrisome, wondering if maybe she should start filing court paperwork for whatever disaster Usagi had schemed up. "Usssaaaggggii, what do you mean by that?"

"Oh nothing. But which one of you is free today?"

It was then that everyone noticed Usagi was in full black gear, wearing matching gloves, and her hair tied into a big bun. Panic set in and their minds raced for suitable excuses.

"I have to perform this really big heart transplant surgery-"

"Husband and I are catering to a party-"

"Gotta represent a couple in a lawsuit-"

Each one was said at virtually the same time and the scrapings of chairs echoed soon after as well as high heels clicking and only two blondes were left at the table.

Minako was still scratching her head and biting her lip for something - _anything!_ to pop into her head. "Uhhuhuhuh…..me and the hubby are going cake tasting?"

Usagi rose her eyebrow and a big, hair-raising smirk stretched across her glossed lips, making Minako slump into her chair with a frown but open ears.

* * *

"So you want me to recite all of the ingredients we use in each of our drinks?"

The red-ribboned blonde gave him a brilliant, toothy smile. "Well it's just I'm getting married soon and I have a diet that I just absolutely have to follow so yes, I need the ingredients so I can chose a proper drink for my day."

' _Usagi soooooo owes me,'_ Minako thought with a twitching smile as Wasu began the long venture into explaining everything that was used in the venti, whipped cream topped iced coffee.

* * *

The pigtailed blonde could hear Wasu's voice talking to Minako, giddy-filled to know that the distraction worked flawlessly, all thanks to her quick smarts. She grasped the door handle and pushed it open to enter the _Employees Only_ area.

Softly closing the door, Usagi made quick work and made it to the wall of lockers that housed the workers belongings such as bags, keys, and _phones_. Pieces of tape adorned each metal cubby, and her crystal blue eyes scanned each one until _Wasureta_ was seen. She breathed a huge breath of relief and amazement that the lockers weren't secured with codes and could merely just push up on the latch and have it swing open.

Her fingers fiddled with all the contents the locker held, to his winter coat pockets that were just filled with a pair of white gloves, the old backpack that sat at the base, filled to the brim with Japanese law textbooks and spiral bound notebooks, but no phone in sight yet.

She sighed in frustration, knowing that it was a matter of time when Minako would run out of drinks to ask for and Wasu would go on his break after dealing with her.

Then she spotted a top shelf at the roof of the locker, sticking her hand up into it and nearly screaming "Eureka!" when a smooth, cool surface brushed against her fingertips. Usagi pulled it out with the biggest smile on her face, pressing the home button which brought up a generic-wallpapered lock screen and passcode.

Fishing out her own phone from her black zip-up's pocket, she sent an innocent " _How are you?_ " to the contact "Chess Boy", thumb trembling with nerves as it hit the send button. Then her eyes darted back and forth between the smartphones, seeing the little delivery checkmark pop up on hers and then a still blank screen on the stolen (' _I mean it's not really stolen because I'm obviously going to put it back once I get the evidence so I mean I'm not really a criminal right?'_ ) cell phone.

Nothing came.

She stayed there, waiting for the message to come pop up on his screen and give her the answer she already knew because it was him! There's no one else who it could be at this point!

Still nothing.

Usagi was now beyond determined, so much that when a worker's footsteps were heard she had dropped onto the floor and rolled under a bench right next to the lockers, remaining there even after the worker had long left.

_Annnnddddd sttttilllll nooottthhiinnng._

Her eyes became glossy and good explanations raced in her thoughts.

' _Maybe his notifications are off.'_

' _There's no signal in this room.'_

' _He's using a different phone to text me.'_

But other alerts had popped onto his phone, connection bars illuminating in the upper corner indicating Wi-fi, and why would he go through the trouble of getting a new phone just to text her? Maybe she just call the number finally and surely that would pop up on his phone and confirm the suspicions but what if the blasted thing's ringtone would scream bloody murder and someone-

Usagi's eyes glanced up and back down but she froze in realization.

A pair of dark sneakers stood in the doorway she had come through and a soiled, yellow bucket with a drenched mop were right next to it.

She had hoped that maybe he didn't see her but the two eyes peeking out underneath the light brown, ball cap felt like lasers burning into her body. So she moved her head from under the bench and made wide-eyed contact with the janitor boy she saw yesterday. His face was scrunched up and black eyebrows raised to the sky at her position, under a bench, in a restricted area for customers.

' _I was looking for my contact lense? Oh this isn't the bathroom? I thought the lost and found was here? I got eye surgery and I'm blind- COME ON USAGI THINK!'_

"Rue you going on break," a voice near the kitchen entrance shout out, saving Usagi the chance at trying to explain her predicament, especially since she was sure that he could see both of the cell phones clenched in either of her hands.

He shook his head to break his gaze at her. "Uh yea I'm going on break." His eyes darted to her and panicking, Usagi held a finger to her lips, pleading for his silence. "I'll see you guys," he finally said, looking defeated while Usagi was about to pump her fist in victory.

He closed the door, giving her a wary glance and the blonde just barely heard his mutter of " _I don't get paid enough for this_."

Crisis diverted, Usagi's attention returned to the phones, where no new developments had been formed. How could that be though?

Wasu was chess boy! She knew it, she soooo knew it!

But if he was, why hadn't the text come through and dinged like it was suppose to? There was some explanation that could reason all these doubts in her mind. She just had to find it.

Remembering Minako's suffering, Usagi placed the phone back in its proper place, shut the locker, and snuck out the room, coming back to the cheery atmosphere of the coffee shop once more, except now she had more questions than answers.

* * *

"You're telling me that I stood there, listening endlessly about how the baristas freshly mix their own whipped cream every morning for _nothing_?!"

Usagi flinched at the high decibel pitch of her friend, falling deeper into the chair. "I mean not for nothing, at least now you know they make their own whipped cream?"

"I had no desire in the world to know that though!" Minako aggressively sucked on her straw, shooting ice spears through her cool indigo eyes.

"There's a reasonable explanation for all this," Usagi explained optimistically.

"Yea it's that you've finally fallen off the edge Usa," the fashion designer stated with concerned eyes. "Seriously, you just have to accept that maybe Wasu isn't chess boy."

"But Minako-"

"How dare you violate our policies Tsukino-san!"

' _Oh this is exactly what I need right now.'_ The grad student dug her nails into her throbbing temples as the nasally, matter-of-fact voice of a fuming and incoming Yuko started a long demeaning lecture of why he should be kicking her out of the coffee shop right that instant, a blushing and sheepish janitor, Rue, shuffling behind him.

"-could have exposed millions of airborne diseases to our kitchen being back there!"

Minako scoffed, head turned away. " _Snitch_ ," she murmured, making the boy behind shift uncomfortably and redden further.

"No Rue did the right thing by telling me about this," Yuko defended, staring directly at Usagi, "Why in the hell were you back there? Were you stealin-"

"I think Wasu is the person that's been playing chess with me," the confused blonde cut off, hoping the confession would help sway the teenage boy to her side of reasoning.

At the statement, Yuko's face morphed into complete disbelief. "You think that Wasureta-sama is the ghost of a fool who you're imagining is playing that idiotic game of chess with you?!"

"It adds up with everything," Usagi explained, hands displayed out in front of her. "First, he has the perfect vantage point working here and moving the chess pieces without anyone noticing. Then his motive which is he has probably known me for years, and maybe he has a crush on me so this was a way of flirting with me. And then there's him coincidentally being so helpful to us in this whole situation-"

Yuko began shaking his head, dismissing all claims. "No, no, he's just being nice and it _is_ a coincidence and Wasureta-sama has a gi-"

"Why don't you just get his phone number?"

Usagi, Minako, and Yuko all looked to the shifting worker that reeked of cleaning products. "What," Usagi asked, brows furrowed with interest.

The man was already fishing out his own phone from his jeans pocket. "You've been texting the guy who's playing you right?"

"Yea," she answered warily, eyes narrowing in state of confusion.

"Well I got Wasureta's phone number if you want?"

"Didn't Wasureta-sama switch phones," Yuko frantically asked, shocked at the information, "How did you get his new phone number?!"

Rue shrugged his shoulders. "He just gave me it?"

Yuko's eyes turned hurt and saddened. "Wasureta-sama," he whispered, hand sprayed on his chest, causing both Minako and Usagi to raise their eyebrows even more.

"Here," he handed the grad student his phone (Minako double taking at the new model), "This is Wasureta-san's contact page."

Usagi - maybe a bit too forcibly - ripped the phone out of his hand, her mind already having memorized the phone number and so she scanned the number line on the screen.

It wasn't the same.

But no, no, no, no Wasu was chess boy! It had to be him, he was the fairytale ending that she needed for this whole journey! He was smart, cute, funny, that adorable shyness he had, all traits she loved and never could find in the men that she actually she went out with. He was everything and she wondered if maybe he couldn't confess to her because she wouldn't see him in that way romantically. But she would…

And then she was getting up from her seat, everyone's pleas echoing in her ears, her only sense working was sight and all she could focus on was the tall, lanky accused coffee worker serving some coffees to a couple at a table, a gorgeous smile graced on his face until she tapped on his shoulder.

"Oh Usagi-cha-"

"Why couldn't you tell me?"

His smile turned confused and uncertain. "What are you talking about?"

"Why couldn't you tell me that you were the one doing this?" She didn't care if her voice was slightly high, that the table couple was staring at her, Wasu himself looking at her in a total state of confusion. All she cared for was his damn confession that would set her free of his lying, his deceit, but more importantly it could give her an explanation and maybe a fresh start to a future.

He gently touched her arm, guiding her away from the table. "Usagi-chan what are you talking about? Tell you what?"

She sighed, breathing in before releasing it and her words. "I know you're chess boy."

Now his eyes widened but not in the way she hoped. "What are you talking about?"

It had never crossed her mind that maybe he didn't want her, the possibility that he just wanted to be friends was never an option for her because he had seemed so straight forward, open to her with his feelings but was it all read wrong?

"Just please tell me the truth Wasu," she pleaded, seeds of doubt forming but still kept at bay, "Tell me your the one that's been playing the chess game with me. All the evidence points to you."

"W-what kind of evidence-U-Usagi you have it all upside-"

"No, I don't! It's you, it has to be you! Otherwise-" _I'll be back to square one, I'll be back to losing my mind._

"Usagi I am not the one who has been playing you," he stated firmly with a pleading look.

"I get if you just want to be friends," she explained, tears of frustration brimming over in her eyes because he's making it so humiliating for her, "I was stupid to think that this whole thing was something more and that maybe you could-"

"Usagi listen," his hands landed squarely on her shoulders to emphasize his point being made, "I am _not_ your guy. I am not the one who's been playing the chess pieces. I am not the one who you've been talking to either."

And the tears fell, dopey big and salty, with Wasu's face becoming distressed at the sight, and her legs wobbly underneath her. What if he was telling the truth?

"But Wasu you have to be-"

_ding!_

Usagi's face froze as her hand vibrated with the new text message alert. It could be Naru reminding her of their weekly lunch on Wednesday, Momoko sending her the assignments she asked for, her mom checking in, it could be anyone!-

**Chess Boy:**

" _ **Blondie."**_

Her heart plummeted. _No._

" _ **You missed."**_

_No._

" _ **Again."**_

More tears cascaded down her face and she sniffled over and over with Wasu asking if she was okay, and her blue eyes helplessly tried to see through blurry vision around the coffee shop to see who was looking but that was dumb because everyone was looking at the sobbing girl that the barista was attempting to console.

Why was she so hopeless? Why did this mean so much to her?

" _Usagi, hey are you okay?"_

His words were drowned out by the pounding in her head, and in her heart.

Why did she care _so much_ for someone that she doesn't even know?

* * *

" _ **Blondie?"**_

" _ **Are you okay?"**_

" _ **Hey you there?"**_

" _ **Usagi?"**_

_**Seen 11:20 a.m.** _

* * *

"...so umm the theory of-"

" _ **Usagi what did I do?"**_

Her chest tightened painfully. "S-sorry guys," she managed to say to her study group members, who gave her smiles of forgiveness as she shut off the phone to prevent any more unnecessary interruptions.

"So these theories.."

* * *

" _ **I'm sorry."**_

Beads of moisture hit the pages softly.

Two words that could hold such emotion, even in written form.

She pushed the phone away and resumed her textbook reading in the limelight of her dark apartment.

* * *

" _ **Usagi."**_

" _Meet me."_

" _ **..."**_

" _Please. I don't care what you look like if that is what has been holding you back."_

" _ **I just can't."**_

" _ **I'm sorry."**_

" _ **Usagi?"**_

* * *

" _Please talk to me?"_

She crumbled up the slip of paper in her hand. Even with her silent treatment, Usagi still engaged in their chess game at the shop due to the attachment she grew. She owed him a fair match, if anything.

But since the text messages were not reaching her anymore, he had turned again to the handwritten notes that were stuffed in the chess board. She couldn't stop herself from looking at them, a chunk of her hanging onto the dream that he would reveal himself in one of the notes.

Snowflakes frosted the window she sat near, the December winterly atmosphere was a sharp contrast to the pleasant warmth of the coffee house that she basked in.

She should be at home, preparing for the mid-term exams coming up in mere days, but the blonde was brought back to her second home the past three months.

' _Three months,'_ she reminisced. It's been that long? ' _I've been bad at keeping track of time.'_

"Hey there." Usagi dragged her lazy eyes up to come upon Yuko and Rue smiling sympathetically at her. Great, more pity is just what she needed with all the self-pity she already had for herself.

"What's up you two," she deadpanned, resuming her gaze at the floor quickly as if her favorite soap opera was being broadcasted on it. There was nicks on her leather high-heeled boots and she made a face, struggling to stay optimistic about them making it through the Tokyo icy weather.

Instead, a velvet cupcake with champagne-flavored frosting popped into her downcast view. It was the ultimate desert, the one she always ogled in the glass case where the tasty brownies, warm cookies, and soft croissant were held also. The grad student knew better than to give into her cravings and resisted the allure of the treat and only ordered coffee each time but her stomach gurgled vengefully after said visits.

She shifted her eyes up to the workers. "What's this?"

"On the house," Yuko informed, with soft eyes and Rue nodded in agreement.

"Why," she questioned, straightening in her chair.

Rue shrugged his shoulders. "Just because."

Usagi remained suspicious but their sincere grins caused her body tension to fall a quarter as she set the plate down. "Thanks guys."

"Uh it's from Wasureta-san also," Yuko added as she began digging in.

She smiled before taking a bite.

After the accusation stint, Usagi had profusely apologized with the kind worker forgiving her and acknowledging that it did make some logical sense from her point of view. He had sat her down in the back, tenderly rubbing her shoulder, handing her tissues to stop the river of tears, and allowed the blonde to pick a variety of sweets to stuff her face with, all because he was just too darn generous. He promised to still help her with the mystery, their budding friendship not in the slightest shaken.

"Where is Wasu-chan," Usagi asked, wiping a napkin on her red-stained lips.

"Today he's off," Yuko answered. "Finals are coming up at the university so he wanted more free time to go study."

A frown deeply creased her facial features when the f-word was uttered. She really should be getting to her apartment and diving back into her exam materials, lest repeating this semester over because of failing grades on the final assessments. Usagi shivered in fright, the idea of enduring a whole 'nother four months with Professor Shiro alone would give her night terrors.

She balled up the cupcake wrapper, launching it into the trash can, gave them the plate, and bid her farewell to the two sweet co-workers.

"Wait Usagi-san." The pig-tailed blonde circled around to furrow her eyebrows at Rue's towering statue.

"Yea?"

"I hope you don't mind me asking," he said, eyes skimming under the ball cap's brim, "but why are you so obsessed with this?"

Yuko was the one to elbow him in the ribs. "I mean why are you so invested in it," Rue revised after glancing in the direction of Yuko's glare, "The guy doesn't seem the best if he can't even look at you in the eye in person. Why do you care?"

Her expression was sober, concentrated, and searching because she didn't quite know the answer herself. The answer invaded her on numerous occasions and wondered if it always will until she finally sees him in the flesh.

"I don't know," Usagi croaked, voice pressed and hoarse, "But he moved that first piece for a reason, he started to talking to me- he started all of this and I want to know why. There's a reason and I've always been too curious."

"What if he doesn't want to meet you because he's scared," the janitor boy continued much to the annoyance of his teenage co-worker. "The person might not be the guy of your dreams you know."

She gave a half smile. "No, he is. The guy of my dreams has nothing to do with looks."

And that was the truth. And she wished that whoever he was, could know that.

She didn't care. Truly she didn't.

"I hope you do find him Usagi," Yuko solemnly said.

"Me too," Rue echoed.

Raising her hand as a goodbye, she pushed open the door and the harsh surge of winter pounded into her face which was quickly covered with her thick brocade scarf.

What if it was true? He was scared to confront her because he was scared of rejection?

Usagi could almost laugh at that statement since rejection is what has always plagued her. He didn't know that with all their differences, they both had the same crippling fear and worrisome doubt clouding their thoughts.

Soft melodies of holiday carols carried to her hat covered ears as she zoomed past other pedestrians, striving to keep the waterworks in and not sliding down her shivering cheeks.

He doesn't know how much her heart ached not answering his messages. He didn't understand that he had reserved a spot in her heart that no one else could ever occupy.

He doesn't know that every time she comes to the coffee shop, a part of her dreams that he would be there, sitting at the chess table, waiting for her and embracing her, lifting her off the ground from the passion of the hug, and pressing his lips to her in that one amazing, breathtaking, rising climax moment.

But.

He doesn't know that she's scared too.

* * *

"Tsukino Usagi," the blonde recited to the woman sitting at the table, gripping her bag a little bit tighter, her breath both erratic, heart pounding. ' _This is it.'_

The friendly woman whipped out a manila packet from the plastic crate, Usagi's name scribed on the front. She gave some quick instructions, such as "going in and finding the spot with your name on it", "don't open the packet until the appropriate instructor says so", and "good luck."

Usagi had warily smiled at the last comment, since she needed the luck more than anyone.

In the wide, colossal lecture room, the jittery grad student found her assigned seat at the bottom, closer to the platform that the teacher uses. Her booted-foot tapped furiously, fingers caught loose, gold strands of her messy top knot, and her mind still won out as the most frantic thing she had.

Her coat was hung neatly on the back of her chair, the flashy new handbag was leaning against the desk, and her usual coffee was almost empty.

To calm down, Usagi thought back to this morning, remembering what she had seen and got numb all over at the sight.

Her king was cornered. Everything was lined up for him to win the game in just a few easy moves and with the recent disconnect they've had because of her, she was sure that once he captured her king, the three month relationship that's been developing, would wilt and be marked as history in each of their minds.

' _This isn't helping me calm down,'_ Usagi muttered mentally, tipping her head back to catch the last drops of her caffeinated drink from the paper cup. Slamming it back down with a sigh, the twenty-four year old felt a buzz in her sweatpants' pocket, digging out the cellular and the caller I.D. flashing.

"Minako what?!" Her friend's high voice began rambling.

"No, no, I can't talk about wedding details right now," Usagi sharply whispered. "Because I'm taking my final exam for grad school maybe?!"

The blonde slapped her hand across her forehead. " _Yes,_ that one."

She sighed. "Well going off the fact that I haven't even started the test yet, I don't know if it's going good!"

"Welcome all. Please find your seats!"

"Minako I don't know if you should go with ' _champagne'_ or ' _cream'_ for the tablecloths."

"We're going to start the exam soon so all electronics we ask please be put away for the rest of the time."

Usagi could barely concentrate on what her bride-obsessed friend was saying with all the rustle and voices of everyone getting ready and putting their materials away. "Minako I don't know if you should have an updo or have your hair down. You still have a while to decide!"

"That means phones should be put away."

"Minako please slow down."

There was a clearing of a throat. "All phones put away, _please_."

"Hyphenate, I don't care it's your name!"

"Phones must-"

"Sure, do doves-"

"Miss please put your phone away," the booming voice finally addressed the blonde with anger and frustration.

Usagi ended the call with Minako still going on and on, and she swiveled around to meet the instructor's threatening gaze but instead she made direct eye contact with the softest and melting hazel eyes she had ever set upon.

Years later, and they still are so hypnotizing, still making the starch leave her legs as if they could ever lose their natural charm.

"Tsukino," he rolled out shocked, clearly recognizing her as well. Though she would be offended if he hadn't.

Her lungs constricted with nostalgia and nausea, cursing the fates above for making the chances of running into the last person she wanted right at that time so certain.

"Masao Osaukio," Usagi managed to spit out with the rapid beating of her heart and shallow breathe.

Masao Osaukio; the star quarterback of Juban High back in the day, average student, guy with a killer smile that could make ladies swoon from miles around, and her first true love.

The flushed blonde shut her eyes. ' _Why me universe?'_

* * *

She gawked at him sitting at the large, mahogany desk, reading a thick, intelligent-looking book with such intensity that she questioned if it was the same guy she had fallen in love with during her teenage years.

Flying through the exam with a renewed confidence, Usagi packed up the papers and arranged them in the correct way, leaving her to simply look at the guy Masao had become.

First she was utterly bewildered at the fact he had a profession that related to education, he had _hated_ school and she was sure he would stay away from any said institutions. Second it was the initial shock of even running into him, out the other thousands of exam instructors in Japan, she receives her first boyfriend?

It also didn't help her case that the jerk was still as gorgeous as when he was younger, having that boyish charm replaced with mature allure. His luscious brown hair was cut more short, chin clean shaven, and his body was still fit but not overly like it had been with the vigorous regiments of football season. Plus he was well put together with his tie, button down, and slacks while her sweatshirt and sweats screamed 'bum'.

Not the best front you want to use when seeing your ex after how many years.

 _God._ She filled her hands with her red face, cursing every spiritual deity and higher powers that were dragging her around like a ragdoll. First it had been the fight to the finish with grad school, her latest relationship disaster with Ito Youi, then this infamous chess fiasco, and now she was coming face to face with the guy that was her first for everything-and she meant _everything._

First kiss, first make-out, first love, first…. _time_. Her seventeenth birthday party was huge and it had been there on that night they took their almost one year relationship to the next stage. Usagi had been so questioning if it was the right decision but what had her convinced of his love was the four week romantic gestures before. Tender, loving notes were left at her school locker, a bouquet of red roses left at her seat during science class, little chocolate candies delivered during the last few days of school. All acts brilliantly set up by Masao himself just to woo her by June 30th.

He would have been perfect if it hadn't been for his enormous ego and big mouth of their night together to the entire football team who of course proceeded to tell the whole high school that sweet, innocent Usagi Tsukino was not as innocent looking anymore. It had been the number one, most embarrassing moment of her whole life, and that's saying a lot.

Cut to a blow out fight of tears, yelling, and storming off, only to never see each other, Usagi felt she really would never see Masao Osaukio again and she was perfectly content with that. He was a senior when they dated, so she never had to face him at school directly after breaking up and thus hadn't seen in person since, until now during her exam.

"Tsukino?"

Usagi emerged from her brain fog of haunting memories to flush further when she realized the exam was over, and everyone had left except her. "The exam is over."

She nodded and packed up her materials, struggling to stay out of this gaze. Damn his tall, intimidating figure. Her hand wavered slightly when it stretched out to give him the sealed up packet with her answer sheet and exam.

"Crazy seeing you here Tsukino," he joked half-heartedly, his teasing tone evident in her name.

" _Crazy_ ," she repeated with a tight smile, his face purposely out of focus in her sight.

Then they kind of stood there, her feet glued to the floor in uncertainty. ' _You need to leave. Move!'_

"So h-how are you?"

' _Oh great so we're going to go the small talk route…'_ "I-I've been good," she answered, hesitant and not looking, "Just studying and doing grad school obviously."

Then silence engulfed them. _Oh!_ "And how have you been?" The blonde met his gaze but kept herself strong.

"I've been good, good," he replied with a smile that was unfamiliar to her. It looked warm and sincere, not mischievous like in the past. "I'm a professor actually, starting out at Osaka University."

Usagi couldn't stop her eyes from bugging out of her head. "Wow."

Masao chuckled and gave way to some tension in the air. "Surprised?"

"Y-yea it's just," she paused, looking him over, "You've changed a lot from high school."

He nodded, looking down with a smile. "Probably for the better."

She nodded. "Well I think we all are capable of change for the better if we can let it happen."

"Yea," he agreed. And she didn't have to see to know that he was taking all of her in with his eyes. "You-you look great- beautiful."

"Uh thanks, you look good too. I wouldn't be shocked if you're still trying to fend off women left and right."

He scoffed. "Well I've grown from that. I'm just looking for the one now." His voice still sent shivers down her spine but not the good, pleasant kind, more like the ones that you got from fear and jumpscares. "You know I can get someone to cover for me and if you're free right now…"

And the tension was back full force with her body becoming rigid. "Well I gotta get going, tomorrow I have another exam s-"

"Usagi wait." His soft fingers left burning marks where his gentle grip was on her wrist. She could achingly remember them running all over her skin even years later. His lips gazing her ear and the soft gasps and moans bouncing off the walls was being repeated like a tape in her ears. She never forgot her seventeenth party, she never let the memory of that night leave her and she felt pathetic for it.

"Yea," she asked, turned away, toward her chair.

"I know when we broke up I never got a chance to say," he paused and sighed heavy, "To say I'm sorry."

Her body trembled and she bit her lip. "Sorry for.." The words, she needed him to say the actual words if he was going to do this properly.

"I-I'm sorry for being an asshole back then, for what happened after-after your birthday party," he confessed, tone thick with guilt, "I never told you that I was sorry and that I regret it. I did a lot of things that I'm not proud of."

She wanted to laugh, to roll her eyes at the fact that his apology was about seven years too late. That saying sorry didn't erase the humiliation she faced after he graduated and left his legacy of taking a virgin. It didn't help that she could see the remorse in his face and so she took pity, didn't further it or mention how he was incredibly tardy with the apology. But Usagi gladly enjoyed the notion that his actions was something he still thought about in adulthood. He did grow up, afterall. "It's okay-I mean it's not _okay_ but I forgive you," the blonde managed to say with a straight face.

"I wouldn't have been hurt to hear if you didn't," he said, breathlessly laughing, "I wasn't exactly the best boyfriend."

She laughed too, snippets of the more favorable periods of their relationships flashed in her mind's eye. "Despite how it ended, you still did sweet things and weren't that bad of a boyfriend. I mean the whole thing you did with the cute romantic notes, the flowers, and chocolates."

Masao's demeanor changed instantly to confusion. "What?"

"Before my birthday," she explained, "How you wooed me before our-our night?"

Then he understood, the recognition soon being replaced by a guilt-ridden, almost ill looking, expression. " _Oh_."

"What," she questioned, there was something more to it by the look of his facial features.

Masao swiveled away from Usagi, hand reaching behind to rub the back of his neck. "Like I said I did a lot of stupid, _dumb_ things when I was younger, when I was with you especially."

' _Should that be taken as an insult or compliment?'_ She shook her head and swallowed the lump in her throat, ignoring the constricting feel of her stomach knots. "Okay?"

"And after overhearing some gossip that my girlfriend was receiving gifts and she was over the moon about them," he turned on his heel, facing her again, sincerity shining in his hazel pools, "I wasn't the one who gave you those gifts Usagi. I stole the credit so that you'd...I don't know, you'd be ready to finally have sex."

The fury grew as a flame inside her and Usagi blinked again and again trying to comprehend the truth. "You _what_?"

"Okay look I found who was doing it and I threatened the kid to stay out of it, that he had no shot with you," Masao explained, eyes searching, "But I told him to keep doing it, so that you'd fall for me more. I saw how much you liked all the notes and chocolates so..."

Her head began to throb, her fingers there already, massaging. Of all recollections, Usagi could retain what some of those notes had said, how she felt so cherished and loved by someone was one of her wildest dreams. Those weeks of getting such presents was her first time of opening her heart, letting love and self-confidence flow through her. But it was all by someone she didn't know. "Wait, wait so….. all the things I was written, things I was sent, it wasn't you it was someone else?"

"Yes," he croaked, face fallen.

A part of her broke and she felt tears gathering at what seemed yet another love mishap in her endless life. "Then who was it," she asked, voice too broken and raspy.

"I promised him I would never tell you," Masao confided, shame speared on his features, "And if I'm being honest, I couldn't even tell you if I could. He was forgettable I'm pretty sure."

But the words he wrote weren't forgettable. All those poems, quotes, stunning sentences that she still harbored in her high school mementos box, those were anything but forgettable. She could never forget that perfect han-

It was like a light switch being flicked on to bathe the unknown darkness into a blinding, awakening light. Everything clicked and Usagi's mind was flooded with every emotion, every thought-every past thought..

" _Oh my god,"_ she cried softly, her hand muffling it.

And her legs carried her away from Masao, away from the lecture room, down the hallways, then the chilly sidewalks, up her building's stairs, and finally she was kicking her feet free of the stupid furry boots, panting and mind spinning with how she had made it to her apartment so quick, but those questions flew out of her mind when she was clawing at her closet's rusty doorknob.

She dug through her old, leather boots, tossed tops, jeans that had slipped from hangers, colorful shopping bags, forgotten receipts stuffed in pockets, and anything else that had accumulated on the floor of her closet.

Usagi mindlessly threw her belongings over her shoulder, wanting no obstacles to her prize that laid beneath - the answers she desperately needed that were encased in that rotting old cardboard box she had long duct-taped shut with her mother when she had first moved out.

Finally she reached the back where the closet ended and felt a rough cube that was hidden with a skimpy pink dress slung over it. The blonde dragged the box across the wooden floor and into the open, lighted space where the brown lid and container could be seen in all its dull, decaying glory.

There was no dramatic pause, no hesitation, no 'should I really do this' thoughts, or really anything else with tape ripping, the lid flung off in mere seconds, and Usagi already rummaging around, fingers slipping against girly glittery notebooks and folders, an old, unopened box of condoms, broken and nawed on pencils, as well as an old partner science project.

Then she felt a small plastic box, pulling it out quickly before she lost it again in the mess. It was black and simple - meant for easy storage of writing utensils - but her breath was deep and ragged just taking in the sight.

With a blurry vision, she flicked the latch and opened it. She already knew the answer but she still picked out one of the slips of paper and nearly came undone on the floor of her bedroom.

It was the same. The slants. The kanji. The tilt of some of the symbols, the wording even.

She scooped out all the cards, faded paper slips, everything that was written on, reading every single quote, savoring tender poems.

" _I wish I could explain your eyes, and how the sound of your voice gives me butterflies. How your smile makes my heart skip a beat and how every time I'm with you, I feel so complete."_

" _Seeing you happy and yourself is what makes the day a little more bearable for me. Thank you for being my reason to look forward to the next day."_

" _Somewhere in between our conversations, the looks, the jokes, the laughter, I fell for you."_

" _You had the sun behind your eyes, stars sitting in your hair. I see you as the whole sky because you are what I look up to."_

" _I can talk to hundreds of people in one day but none of them could compare to the smile you give me in one minute."_

She fanned them out on her rug, catching a few but stopping at a particularly familiar one.

" _A smile from you could make others smile, so bright and happy and infectious. When you laugh, it's angelic. Your smile could turn one's day around and a frown could make them feel your sadness. You are stunningly and dazzlingly you, and never change."_

Her text messages were displayed in seconds and she scrolled up the infinite amount of texts to the one she needed.

" _ **You're insanely beautif…..You have this smile that makes other people smile, it's just so bright and happy and infectious…..makes you laugh, it's just so angelic….how just a smile from you can make someone's entire day turn around or even a frown from you can make them feel your sadness. You're, you. Stunning, dazzling, happy you."**_

Then another one.

" _Everyone deserves to have someone who will remind them how beautiful they are. To have fresh flowers on the doorsteps. Be given morning kisses with coffee. Be taken on dates where the smiles and laughter never leave. You deserve that more than anyone."_

" _ **Well everyone deserves to have someone who does give you that kind of flattery. You deserve to have flowers on your doorstep, and coffee in the morning, someone to kiss you every hour of the day, go on little dates, remind you of how beautiful you are and how much they love you. You deserve that."**_

The wording was different, sure. But the flow, tone, voice….it hit too close to home.

And there was one that broke her.

" _I dream of the day when you'll see me. I dream of the day when I'll be brave enough to really talk to you. I dream of the day when I'll be able to move on."_

Her tears pelted the paper, wondering how she would go on.

* * *

A whole night of crying and shifting through yearbook pictures later, Usagi stood in front of the chess board the next day, folded up piece of a paper in her clenched fist.

She had turned up with nothing and was left with one dire option. It was something she promised she wouldn't ask him anymore, or otherwise he would stop communication with her. She had obeyed because it was a simple request and just talking to him was enough back then.

But it wasn't anymore. It had never been enough but she fooled herself into believing it was.

Her hand stuffed the paper in the wooden container and left the coffee shop soundlessly and coffeeless.

Three clear words were printed on the paper.

" _Who are you?"_

* * *

It only took him a day, maybe less, to respond with a note.

Usagi could barely read the paper through her fuzzy eyesight. But she let the material slip from her fingers, landing near her captured white king that sat at the edge of the board, while his black knight occupied its space.

" _Checkmate. Thanks for playing."_


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyday Usagi moves a chess piece and the next day, someone else always moves another. Who is she playing against?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Here's chapter eight!! The drama after the final checkmate ;) ;D

**Chapter Eight**

_Seven Years Ago…._

She splashed cold water in her face, over and over again, needing to feel clean and in control, just herself for a few fleeting moments. Her hands frantically searched for the towel dispenser, wiping away the droplets with the coarse, brown paper.

' _Breathe,'_ her thoughts muttered. ' _Breathe and head held up high.'_

She inhaled the spicy smell of strawberry hand soap and bleach, exhaling with her eyes scrunched closed. "You're so strong," the blonde whispered to no one in the girls bathroom. "This is nothing you can't handle."

But the looks, the snickers, the off-hand crude comments that were whispered nevertheless still made it to her ears, everyone was talking about it - everyone was talking about her! They all acted like it was a huge event, and it was! For her only though, it was something that did not have to be broadcasted to _the whole school_.

' _No. Just forget it. Don't go negative.'_

Her thoughts began to filter positive imagery, colorful rainbows and gigantic milkshakes and little bunnies hopping around swam into her mind's eye. Feeling a ghost of a smile pull at her lips, she opened her blue eyes, taking the twisted brown piece of paper towel to her face, dabbing at the wet streaks tears had left in their wake.

After taking another deep breathe, and adjusting her blue and white uniform as well as golden buns, that were slightly sloppy today, Usagi forced her usual bright confidence to shine through any misery that dwelled within her. ' _Nothing could be as bad as yesterday.'_

She shivered at the remembrance of finding a note taped to the school getabako, right over the cubbie that held her black street shoes.

' _Guess you're not an innocent little bunny anymore, Tsukino?'_

The words were written on a slip of lined paper, a sketch of a bunny's face and a big 'X' covering it, the image all too daunting and causing knots to twist up in her stomach.

It looked like Akari Nakamura's handwriting, the brunette and her gang of third year girls have been giving Usagi the evil eye ever since she started dating Masao. It wouldn't be too hard to fathom the image of them attaching the paper to her spot with cruel smirks gracing their heart-shaped faces.

She shook her head, blonde streams whirling around.

Any nerves or doubts were swallowed down along with the ever-growing lump in her throat. All that was left for her this year was a darn chemistry final, after which she was able to ride off into the sunset of summer vacation.

The thought of freedom finally drove her to move and vacate the safety of the bathroom, entering the crisp air of the hallway, people walking to their classes and not minding her one bit. A smile formed and her shoulders unhooked.

She had to remember she wasn't alone. Afterall, Makoto had come _this_ close to getting kicked out of school due to threats of harm toward snotty girls, Minako was in the process of spreading numerous nasty rumors about Masao, and Rei had began rituals to cast bad omens on all who spoke behind her back. Usagi and Ami relentlessly strode to keep the three at bay but Usagi guiltily took a warm feel at her friends trying to protect her. It brought a smile to her face, seeing that she would never be void of friendship anytime soon.

Usagi gripped her school bag with both hands and soundlessly (with a hint of joy) made it over to the science wing. But like everything else that was happening to her recently, the silence and invisibility began to dwindle away.

"That's her?!"

' _They're not talking about me,'_ Usagi repeated in her mind.

"Masao did her?"

Her skin began to crawl.

"I still don't get how a guy like him goes out with a girl like her…"

The bile rose in her throat as she took each step closer to her classroom.

"I heard someone say that she practically begged him to-"

"Who knew Usagi Tsukino was freaky in the sheets?"

"How many times did they-"

"You think-"

"Can't believe-"

Usagi nearly plowed down a sophomore girl as she dove into the classroom, shielded away from the callous comments of evilly smiling, perfectly-silky haired, spitefully giggling teenage girls. Sending thanks for the back location of her desk, the pigtailed blonde perched herself on the metal stool abruptly, causing her lab partner to jump in his own seat.

It was unfair, it was cruel, it was hideous, it was awful - so _so_ awful. She pulled her hands and felt the gold strands tangled in her fingers, giving her the temptation to just pull harder and rip the strands - pigtails included - out, all in frustration.

She was so stupid - _no_ he was such an idiotic, stupid jerk! How could he do this to her? Everything they did was all because he could boast about it? Their night had been so perfect and amazing and what she had always day-dreamed about with a cheeky Minako. But to him, apparently, it was a conquest. That's what she was to him.

He had no right to tell everyone about what _they_ did, _together._ And her classmates had no reason for continuing the comments, to continue making her feel like some freak of nature walking the halls. Hell, it felt like everyone was looking at her as if she was naked.

"H-hey are you okay?"

She flinched at the gentle touch, muttering a "I'm fine", and felt the hand recoil away from her trembling shoulder. Beads hit the table, making Usagi wonder when the tears had finally spilled over the top.

While wiping away the tears with her palms, the blonde watched as a packet of paper slid into her downcast view of the table. She sighed, cursing in her mind.

The chemistry exam. _Right._

From the recent events that have been happening, this test had been at the deepest corner of her mind - so was there any reason to even try and attempt to earn a decent grade on an exam she never studied for?

Usagi half-heartedly processed the test, filling in answers she knew would never in billion years be correct, but she would do anything if it meant leaving this school faster.

And so Usagi Tsukino pushed the finished exam away, practically threw down her pencil, and pushed her stool out to hop off of it. The others were all still taking the test, even her startled, brainy table mate was still scribbling things down. But she didn't care.

She just had to leave and cry and wail and mend to her broken dream and heart. A measly, rotten grade was nothing to her at the moment.

And so she took the fail in stride when the report was delivered at the house weeks later. But even then, she was shattered in pieces, still, over her first lost love.

* * *

_Seven years and four months later..._

"Order up!"

Usagi grinned into her glass as she viewed the floral printed postcard in between her fingers.

" _It's A-M-A-Z-I-N-G here Usa! The sunsets, the dining, the room, the view, the food, just everything! Wish you were here to see and experience it!_

_LOTS OF LOVE XOXO, Minako Aino"_

It was odd to think of Minako, her loveable, high-maintenance, ballsy blonde twin, flourishing in married life. But here was a enthusiastic postcard from Ms. Never-Settle-Down during her lavish honeymoon with the new Mr. Aino.

Usagi was happy, beyond happy for her friend! Afterall, it was Minako's ultimate goal to find love, have happiness.

Maybe that was why Usagi felt the shame build, green envy stirring within her. She wished for the same thing to happen to her, she wished that she could find love and happiness and everything she ever hoped for. But that wasn't in the stars for her.

She lost that hope ever since…...

' _Don't you dare think about him. You've moved on.'_

Her smile disappearing and daylight dwindling, the pigtailed blonde threw down some yen at the receipt, finishing up the last pieces of her omelet as well as her apple juice before taking her leave outside. The warm spring air whirled all over her, the pastel pink sundress picking up a bit in the wind. She closed her eyes and inhaled the scent.

However, when her eyes popped open, Usagi was startled to come upon a familiar handsome face who greeted her with two coffee cups.

"So you're stalking me now," she joked with a smirk.

Motoki smiled back and handed her the paper cup. "Well you're not the easiest to get in touch with, Usagi-chan."

She resumed her walking, him right next to her. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh so dodging my calls and texts is not ringing a bell with you," he asked with a grin.

" _Noooo_ ," Usagi drawled out, a mischievous grin appearing as she took a sip.

"Usa come on," Motoki scolded gently. "Give me a chance!"

"I love you Motoki, I really do," she looked away, "But I'm really not looking for a blind date right now, or really any kind of relationship okay?"

"You don't even know who I'm setting you up with!"

"I don't need to know because I'm not going to be set up!" They crossed the street, Motoki on her quick heels.

"Just give him a chance! I swear it's going to be so worth it if you meet him and see what a great guy he is-"

She sighed. "I'm sure he is Toki, so go set him up with some other girl because trust me, I'm a magnet for love woes and problems. Save him while you can from me."

"Usa you can't believe that."

"With my track record, it's more than believable."

"Okay, okay, okay-" The tall man stepped ahead of her, blocking her from walking further.

"Motoki please-"

"One date," he cut her off, a single finger raised in front of her. "One date and then I'll leave you alone to do whatever you want."

Usagi scoffed, closing her eyes in defeat. "I don't know.."

"It's just one night Usagi." She observed the certainty and confidence in his shining emerald eyes. Usagi trusted him, she really did but she didn't trust her mangled heart, especially after all the hits it had taken recently.

She squeezed her hands into fists and sucked back the tears that had already formed just at the mere mention.

It had been months since _that_ but everyday it felt like a fresh wound. Could going out help repair the damage, maybe just an inch in the right direction.

' _You need this. You can't hide forever in the dark.'_

It _was_ just one night, then she would never have to face Motoki's friend ever again, or Motoki's persistent claims. "Just one night?"

A tremendous grin broke out on his perfect facial features. "Tonight, seven, the place across from the park." Then the former arcade worker was walking away backwards, smile still firmly placed and growing by the second. "The reservation will be under my name! And don't be late Usagi!"

She shook her head with a tiny smile, wondering if she just made a huge mistake, but secretly hoped that whoever she was meeting in eight hours, was as great as Motoki claimed.

The dirty blonde man was halfway down the street, a giddy smile stretched across his face as he wrote a quick text message.

" _Guess who's going on a date with Usagi Tsukino tonight? Be ready by 6:30 ;) - Motoki"_

* * *

Four months.

Four freaking months of misery later and still, she scrolled through the messages, reminiscing of a romance that was never to be in the first place. She still shed tears, still felt the ache, still hasn't deleted anything he sent her because she couldn't bear the thought of forgetting those times. She could never erase him.

Usagi shakily exhaled, snapping her phone off and dropping her head between her legs. ' _Forget it, just forget it for a night. Just one night…'_

A shudder rippled through her body when a silky material brushed against her bare ankles. Finding a smirk, she carefully gathered up the roaming black fluff into her lap, petting the small cat. "What do you think Luna," she asked lightly, "Ever think I'll give you a stepdad one day."

The black feline meowed in response, setting up camp on Usagi's legs where a nap soon began.

Though the blonde had remained adamant on never descending down the path of a 'lonely cat lady', she had made the one exception with Luna, discovering the black cat clawing at her apartment door one night. Her apartment was small as it is, but a single, tiny, adorable pet shouldn't be too much to house right? Especially since her building wasn't the most pet-friendly, but what her landlord didn't know wouldn't kill her now will it.

With Luna around, she felt less lonely and more happy, a sensation she desired in gallons nowadays.

She had been a blessing in disguise, giving comfort to Usagi when she needed it most. And she needed a boatload after the mess that had been the now infamous "chess fiscao". Though it was more like chess heartbreak in hindsight.

Again she shook her head, detering from _those_ kind of thoughts. Try after try she would lock away the stupid memories but again and again they would crawl their way back to the forecenter of her mind. But it was time to set a new beginning for her that had nothing to do with her tragic prologue.

With more two hours on the clock, the blonde could still make her blind date that - she had to ashamedly admit - she was planning to stand up. Motoki's friend probably deserved a modest shot, whoever he was. She didn't know his face, his voice, his name, his anything really, but Motoki had boasted on about him as if he was a god, so this man had to verify some kind of good quality about himself.

" _Lunaaaaa_ ," Usagi scolded as she was padding into her bedroom for the battle of outfit deciding, "You know you have to hop down and stop scaring your new fishy siblings right?"

The feline flashed her bright eyes and hung her head in an embarrassed manner as she bounded down from the table next to the filtering water tank full of goldfish, platyfish, and dwarf gourami.

It had been an impulse, lonely buy along with the taking in of Luna. It was extremely pathetic and weird but at night before heading off to bed, the grad student would vent out her problems of the days or weeks to her scaly friends with the black cat licking herself clean nearby. Sometimes it involved her crying out her frustrations of life, forehead pressed against the cool glass of the rectangle tank, some kind of ghastly, sugary treat being forked into her waiting mouth, Luna nipping at her bare toes in comfort or curling against her leg.

It wasn't like she _couldn't_ just pick up her cell and phone-in one of her air-breathing, opposable-thumb friends, but she felt like a bother to them at such a late time. Plus, talking to Luna and the school of fish was a lot more cheaper than going to a shrink.

If anyone were to walk in during one of her pet venting sessions, she was sure that it would only be a few mere seconds before she was strapped into a straitjacket and thrown into a padded room for decades.

' _No more talk of asylums,'_ Usagi shook her head, ' _Only discussion of which dress you should wear tonight.'_

She held up a black, jeweled, form-fitting short cocktail dress and a red, floor length spaghetti strap dress that shone like diamonds in light. ' _Little black dress or red hot seductress to 'wow' him off his feet?'  
_

* * *

"Miss, would you like some more water?"

Her drooping eyes strained to look up at the masked teenage girl offering the clear pitcher with a kind ( _and was that sympathy?_ ) smile. "No I'm fine, but thank you."

Usagi resumed her previous position of chin in hand, blankly staring at nothing in particular as her date continued to be absent for an ongoing half an hour. Her of all people understood being obscenely late to events but this late? And for a _date_?

Even she had lines that she would never cross.

She huffed, amusing the casablanca decor with finished dark wood and dazzling silver chandeliers that were set on dim to cast the correct romantic evening that many around Usagi were taking advantage of. Most of the table settings were for two in the high-class and elegant restaurant, the staff wore black tie along with formal dress and masks, taking a cue from masquerade balls apparently. She found it frustrating, however, since anyone she would interact with was barely visible either because of the low lighting or a wide mask was covering half of their facial features. It was like that one, long play Ami had taken her to with phantoms and operas and lots of loud singing.

Taking in the surroundings for what appeared to be a thousandth time, Usagi double checked her watch to see that the waiting time has now extended to a full 45 minutes.

Another heavy, annoyed sigh.

She'd taken time out of _her_ day to dress pretty damn good, having gone for the short black cocktail with the open back and embellished dark jewels, prepared her face with a smokey eye and vivid red lip, snaked her long blonde hair in a low ponytail, and paid for a dumb cab to get to the upscale venue. This guy was required to come at this point and from what she observed in the mirrored window across from her, he damn couldn't have walked in and walked out on seeing her because she did look fucking good.

Usagi's forehead dropped to the edge of the table, then she picked it up and brought it back down hard. Being stood up was nothing new to her, but from one of Motoki's friends? What kind of failure was _this_?

She looked up to the seat across from her, squinting her eyes and concentrating hard for some dashing, handsome, charismatic Prince Charming to materialize in the fabric plastered chair.

But atlast, no one appeared, and her forehead hit the table with a thump again.

* * *

' _Just. Go. In.'_

But the suited man's feet were glued to the sidewalk, eyes stuck gazing longingly through the window that gave him the perfect view of his expecting, _stunning_ date.

She sat rigid, angry, her leg bouncing up and down while her fingers played and fiddled with the ends of her straightened hair. Her skin and gold strands glowed against the darker atmosphere, and her dress hugged her body perfectly with long legs being even more accentuated.

Beautiful, bright, glowing, perfect.

Then she was stretching her arms out in the air at the same moment when a chef was walking by with a tray full of plates.

He barely flinched at the loud crash that unfolded.

A lopsided smirk formed on his lips as the chef reassured the frantic and apologetic girl that it was fine, all on accident, and he could clean the mess off the floor himself. She went back to bury her red face in her hands, pure embarrassment quite obvious.

' _Go. In.'_

A frown appeared as the nagging voice returned. He should just go in and greet her, take the consequences as they come -

But there was too much at stake. There had been the first rejection, years ago, that was so stupid and childish but the memory still, was burned into him.

At least this way, of not trying, still gave him hope, and the sweet bliss of the unknown.

' _But look at her.'_ He rose his eyes up to the window again, where she again sat in a rigid annoyed form. ' _She's waiting for you, so go to her and take your chance.'_

He gripped the bouquet harder and steadily, _slowly, finally,_ walked over to the entrance.

"Hello there," the smiling masked hostess greeted, "Name for the reservation?"

' _Motoki Furuhata.'_ Somehow the words didn't come out, they got stuck with the lump in his dry throat. It was two words, two words more and they would lead him to the table, lead him to her and then…

"Sir, name for the reservation?"

* * *

One hour and a half.

90 minutes of just sitting at the table and wasting away in her cocktail dress while others had long ago wined and dined and wooed and went home. She was still stuck here, receiving sympathetic and sad eyes from all the staff ( _except for that one guy who had lost all his plates to the floor because of her, he was just shooting evil side eyes_ ).

God, why couldn't she just leave? Why is she still so determined to sit there and take the walk of stood-up shame. But she couldn't find the strength or dignity to do it.

"Is there something wrong with me?"

The brunette server girl stopped in her glass filling to look up to her. "Excuse me miss?"

"Is there something fucking wrong with me," Usagi begged the question again with a slight edge.

Taken back by the statement, the server stared wide-eyed and gaping. "Uh-uh no miss?"

Usagi sighed, frustrated. "Like am I undateable, or unattractive?"

"Uh no miss."

"Well then what is it?" The blonde hit her head against the table. "Why am I being stood up for what seems like the fiftieth time in my life."

The confused girl was now scratching her head in preplexation. "I-I don't know miss."

Usagi lifted her face up and gestured to herself. "Like seriously what is wrong with me?! I'm still sitting here, at a restaurant, where I got stood up, a hour and a half. What is wrong with me seriously?"

"I'm s-so sorry miss-"

"Miss Tsukino?"

A part of her had hoped maybe that it was him, finally arriving, but instead she was greeted by a different host in a suit and tie and a white domino mask. "Miss Tsukino, I'm afraid your date has just informed us that he won't be making it unfortunately."

 _Shocking._ Though her gut still clenched with displeasure. "I kind of figured."

Deciding that this was the best time to leave with a droplet size of dignity, Usagi came to her feet, purse in hand.

"But wait," the host stopped her with his hand and tacky accent, "To make up for his absence, he offered to pay for your meal tonight miss. So anything you order will go on his card, if you'd like to stay?"

Her eyebrows furrowed with confusion suddenly. What kind of guy stands up his date, then offers to pay for the meal?

She was about to be bitter and deny the offer, rather taking the high road with her stomping home, cursing and wolfing down some microwavable ramen noodles while watching the Bachelor.

But the amount of dishes that had glided by her the past hour, steaming meals that would waft the aroma right into her nostrils, was maddening. The menu looked seamless and exotic, her taste buds already tingling and salivating on their own whim as they scanned the meal descriptions.

It would be wrong, so incredibly wrong to max out the guy's card on food just because he had stood her up. He had to be semi-decent to at least offer to pay for her meal. But he had offered to pay for it….

 _He_ had stood _her_ up. Why must she suffer the fate of undercooked ramen noodles?

"Okay," Usagi said, chin raised high and a smile curling on her lips. "Give me your five most expensive entrees."

The host blinked on his own accord. "Five entre- I mean of course miss."

Just as he turned, she slipped in another request. "Also a bottle of your finest wine."

* * *

"Like can you believe the guy had the guts to stand me up?"

The chef briefly paused in his actions before resuming in placing the dish in front of the blonde. "Uh-no. I am sorry miss."

"Oh no he's sorry," Usagi just partly slurred, taking another hearty gulp of the red liquid. "I mean he missed the chance of all this."

The elderly man darted his eyes over to see Usagi wildly gesturing her hands to herself. He remained silent but wide-eyed as he unclasped the silver dope from the plate to reveal the entree. "For this, we have a miso glazed black cod with sauteed broccoli."

Just as he finished his sentence, the hungry blonde had lunged for her shiny fork and plunged it into her cod, tiny pieces already flying into her mouth. "Delicious," she mumbled while continuing to munch on it.

The man began backing away with a gaping face, wheeling the cart back to the kitchen with a disbelieving shake of his head.

* * *

"Okay be honest with me?"

The water girl hesitantly turned, cursing her luck that she couldn't fill the glass fast enough. "S-sure."

Usagi took a big gulp from her wine glass before inhaling a breathe and resuming. "Do you think I'm pretty?"

The girl blinked behind the mask, observing the short black dress, blonde tresses, and smokey eyes. "Yes?"

"You think I'm attractive," Usagi asked, tipping back her glass for the last drops.

"Uh yes miss."

"I'm pretty?"

"Yes."

"So if you saw me here for our date would you have walked out?"

"Uh no."

"So would you have sex with me?"

"What?!"

Usagi waved her glass in hand around. "Just hypothetical…Wondering what my date was thinking." Eyebrows furrowed, she shook the long red glass bottle, finding it empty. "Hey, can I get another one of these?!"

* * *

"He what?!"

The steadily drunk blonde slurped up a few more noodles while dangerously cradling the phone between her shoulder and ear. "He stood me up Motoki. The guy that _you_ set me up with, stood _me_ up. Jeez am I not talking loud enough?!" Several patrons twisted around to see the slurping blonde screeching into her speaker.

"No no! Your volume is just fine," a panicked Motoki reassured, remembering where Usagi was and her current state of influenced mind. "I just can't believe he stood you up! Trust me Usa, this is not like him."

"Well it's what guys are like for me so," she drawled, scraping up the last noodles while eyeing her half empty wine glass. Long kept tears began to form. "Am I not pretty Motoki? Do you think he just walked in and walked right out?"

She could practically hear the dirty blonde's eyes blow up to balloons. "No! No! 100% no Usagi! My friend would have most certainly _not_ walked away from a date with _you_ of all people."

"Try telling-wait what do you mean 'you of all people'?"

"I-I just mean I really talked you up and he r-really seemed to like you." Usagi could have been imagining it, but she could have sworn she heard a whispered ' _I'm going to kill him'_ on the line, but she waved it off as just being buzzed.

"But I will give you that he's a nice guy for paying," Usagi licked her finger clean of the pasta sauce. "I mean he's probably going to be bankrupt for a little bit but a small price to pay for standing up a date."

" _Usssaaa_."

"Oh relax, I've barely ordered annnyyythhhinnnggg." The blonde forgoed the glass this time and drank it straight from the wine bottle, chugging it in big gulps, even when her twirling head protested.

She saw her waiter pass and stopped him, angling the phone away from her. "Hey can you guys just give me your whole desert menu," she whispered, breathe so alcohol pungent that the server had to take a step away to nod.

* * *

"He so didn't deserve you hon," the water girl consoled as Usagi choked down another piece of the strawberry cream cake.

"You're right! He soooo doesn't deserve me," Usagi whimpered through the tears and chewing.

"You are so beautiful and deserve better young lady," the chef explained, placing three more plates on the table, filled with white fluffy cream, fruit toppings, glazed sweets, and golden crusts.

The host that had informed her of her date bailing out but paying, nodded his head in agreement. "Don't even give the guy a second thought. Live your best life."

Usagi shook her head and gobbled down a few more spoon fulls of deserts. "I am better, I deserve better, I need better."

All three staff members nodded and gave utters of 'yes'.

* * *

"Good god Usagi…"

The blonde swiveled around, tittering, to set eyes upon her stricken friends. "Ami-chan! Mako-chan!"

"Usagi-chan, w-what.."

Usagi quirked an eyebrow at Ami's bewilderment, looking to the congo line of restaurant staff and well-dressed patrons, all smiles and laughs as they moved the beat of the live modern orchestra. "Oh yea it kind of got started because it was way too quiet in here and I got the crazy idea to just start spicing up the dancefloor!"

"But there is no dance floor here," Makoto explained, gesturing to the all carpeted floor.

Usagi waved her hand, dismissing the claim while hiccuping and rocking back and forth. "Nonsense, we can make our own dancefloor, see!"

They followed her danity hand to see the bizarre sight again, filled with people weaving in and out of the tables in a conjoined congo line as the normally regal music was playing a joyous beat on string violins, strumming cellos, and bashful french horns.

"Only you Usagi," Makoto amused as her and Ami eventually led their swaying friend from the dish piled table, out of the dining room and to the exit, Usagi slurring out farewells to the staff and people.

"Miss Tsukino wait!"

Just as Usagi was sleepily shrugging on her coat, a different male host, one she hadn't seen before (her vision was blurry and dizzy so who knows) came right up behind them, black tie and white button-down, black dress pants, wide domino mask, but the bouquet of rich red roses that were clenched in his hands as he came up to the three certainly gave his outfit a pop of color.

"We forgot to deliver these to you before but they're from your absent gentlemen." His voice was ascending and descending in volume in her ears, but Usagi comprehended the sentence and felt her blood boil a fraction.

Ami and Makoto awed at the flawless floral in front of them but the small blonde's face was turning just as red as the roses presented in front of her eyes.

"He got me flowers," she questioned, snatching the wrapped stems away from his hands. "He dropped off these flowers?"

"Uh yes-"

"So he was here, here in this restaurant where he could have had the damn date with me, and then end up never calling me after and then we never had to see each other again but this _stand up_ guy _stood me up_ purposely?!"

"Usagi," Makoto scolded, "Calm down. They're beautiful roses and you don't know the situation he was in."

The host squirmed slightly and she watched how his adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed thickly. It was dark and in the limited light the lobby did give her, his hair seemed to be dark too, maybe jet black, _or was that dark brown?_ "He s-said to tell you that he is sincerely sorry that he couldn't make it tonight."

Usagi snorted. "Well technically he did make it here tonight, he just couldn't make it to the table and face me," she murmured darkly, turning away and following through the door, but not before spotting a gold trash can by the door and promptly discarding the roses into the flap, no guilt built in her gut.

When all three women left, stepping into a SUV that was pulled out from the valet outside, the masked man squeezed his hands into fists, closing his dark blue, midnight eyes in defeat.

"He really is sorry," he said through tight frowning lips, his head bowed in shame.

* * *

Just narrowly, Makoto stumbled into the doorway of the apartment with a jelly-legged Usagi leaning heavily on her shoulder, while Ami jerked out the key from the doorknob.

"Here we go Usagi-chan," Makoto grunted as she lifted the petite blonde onto the plush pink couch. "Home sweet home."

Usagi forced her eyelids to remain open, sight unfocused and wobbly. "Waittt, we _left_ the restaurant?"

"Yes," Ami was busying herself with turning on a few lights in the dim living room. "We left nearly fifteen minutes ago Usa."

The dizzy blonde massaged her forehead. "Jeez, I swear we were just there."

"No the alcohol swears we were just there," Makoto joked from the hallway to the kitchen.

Looking down at her form, Usagi spotted a stain of chocolate mousse at the hem of her dress and somehow her strappy heels were absent from her tiny feet. ' _That mousse was super good,'_ she reflected, licking her chap lips in remembrance.

"Usagi," Makoto called after a few clatters from the kitchen, "You better be thirsty because you're about to drink two gallons of water before going to bed!"

Grumbling as she fiddled around with her askew jacket's pockets, Usagi located the smooth cool surface of her phone screen, clicking it open to see any urgent notifications ( _bombshell, there was none_ ) but the fluorescent screen sent her blanching and squinting her eyes. She saw the Ami blob shape in her blotchy vision move to the lighted kitchen area, so slowly, she found her footing on the white faux fur rug, regaining some balance to walk a couple of steps.

Carefully avoiding Luna on the floor, even in her drunken state, Usagi stopped to lean on the fish tank for a second to catch her breathe, hand resting on the edge of the fishy shelter.

' _Must get to moving blobs.'_

Her hands glided against the wall to hold her steady. ' _Must. Get. To. Moving. Blobs.'_

She was so close, she could feel it as the texture of the wall shifted. ' _Must...get...to...blobsss..'_

"Usagi!" The bluenette just by a hair caught her nearly collapsing blonde friend.

Usagi buried her face in Ami's jacket lapel, inhaling the scent deeply. "Ammmiii, you smell so nice. Did the hospital switch to a new disinfectant spray?"

"No Usagi," Ami replied with a half smile, Makoto chuckling from behind the fridge door.

"Oh," the blonde murmured, "You still smell nice."

The laughing doctor placed the sleepy woman in one of the chairs at the small square table. "How much did you drink Usagi?"

"Hmmm," her fingers itched her temples, "I lost count after two."

Makoto's dark eyebrow quirked. "Two glasses?"

"No two bottles."

The ponytailed brunette amusedly whistled. " _Usagi-chan_."

"We definitely have to get you to bed soon," Ami said, reaching out to help Usagi up.

The blonde was half up-right when she paused and confusedly looked around, facial features etched in concern. "Wait, w-where's my phone - I just had it in my hand."

"Usagi I saw you with it so it's in the apartment-"

"But w-wait I _need_ my phone-"

"Usagi you _need_ to go to sleep-"

"No my phone-"

Then she heard it.

She heard the vibration.

Her phone.

Then a meow.

"Luna…."

The black cat looked up with a cock of the head to her blonde, wide-eyed owner. Her paw was just half an inch from the vibrating phone, where it sat balancing on the edge of the slot opening to the full, _water_ fish tank.

"Usagi don't make any sudden moves," Ami whispered as they observed the curious cat.

"Luna," Usagi warned, as she took half-balanced steps to the tank, " _Please_ do not move."

But the feline did, her paw twitching slightly and the phone tittered even more to the edge as it went on trembling with a phone call.

One more move and there goes her one year contact, Puzzle and Dragon highscores, social media accounts, precious food pictures, hilarious text messages with her friends, all her phone contacts, and one very important, _still_ coveted phone number.

Then the hostage taker's large feline eyes were staring at them again, her paw slowly rising up as if in mocking.

" _Luna!_ "

"Usagi don't scare her-"

But the hiss was enough to set her off edge. And her paw moved for the last time.

It was like glass breaking as the splash sounded and Usagi jumped to the glass tank, watching her phone descend to its watery, fishy death along with 72,800 yen.

But it wasn't until she saw the caller I.D. for a split second, that her heart really ripped apart, and sunk to the base of her stomach.

_Chess Boy_

_Mobile_

The screen went black as it hit the pebbled bottom, and so did her vision.

* * *

She wanted to cry, yell, scream, yell, throw things, _break_ things, just curse at everything there was in existence.

But instead, she was spending her morning hangover quietly standing, leaning down in her fuzzy pink robe and gaping at a ziplock bag full of rice on her tiny kitchen island.

' _Soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soak, soaksoaksoaksoaksoak-'_

"Usagi stop trying concentrating on the rice."

The blonde sent a glare from over the bag to the back of her blue-haired friend who was sitting at the dining table, drinking a cup of coffee while reading the newspaper, one that Usagi didn't even know still got delivered to her address. Ami had stayed the night to keep an eye on her while insisting she went to sleep instead of crying over a water-damaged smartphone that couldn't be helped until morning.

"I'm not concentrating, I'm encouraging mentally," Usagi spat back, more at the bag than Ami.

She took a sip of her coffee as she turned a grey page. "Well I doubt you'll be ' _encouraging'_ mentally for two days."

Usagi's blue eyes popped out of her head along with a few veins. "TWO DAYS?!"

Ami remained in her position, barely flinching at the screech. "Yes. For this to even attempt to work, you must leave the phone in the rice for at least 48 hours to soak up any water left."

"It's gonna take _two days_ for stupid rice to fix my phone!?"

"Usagi we're not even sure that this is going to work in the first place."

"Maybe we should put it in the microwave to speed up the process."

Ami finally turned around to face her wacky friend. "Usa I don't believe that's the smartest course of action. Unless you want your phone heat damaged too."

She buried her greasy face in her hands as she groaned endlessly, her head pounding against her skull. "Why me?!"

"I'm sure everything will b-"

"Ami he called me," Usagi interrupted, voice lowering, breaking.

Ami heavily sighed, rising and shuffled over in her slippers. "Usagi I know but there's nothing we can do about it for now."

"But he called me," she whispered, eyes glossy, "He called and I never answered."

"Just call him back then."

"No Ami you don't understand," Usagi choked out, " _He_ called me. After all this time, he still _cares_. So what if, when I didn't answer, he thought I forgot about him?"

Ami stroked her arm in comfort as she began to hiccup. "I'm sure he doesn't think that. Maybe you can call him off my phone-"

"No, no, no," Usagi shook her head back and forth, cringing at the action that made her head dizzy and throbbing, "I lost the number and even if I remembered, who knows if he'd even answer a random number."

"Mayb-"

"I never stopped thinking about him," she confessed, looking up to ocean blue eyes, "It's been four months and I've never been able to get him out of my mind completely."

It was as if several weights had been lifted from her shoulders, but fell instead in the appearance of numerous tears. After weeks- _months_ of denying it, she couldn't lie to herself anymore, she couldn't keep rejecting that a part of her felt empty and cold.

She couldn't stop-

Usagi wrapped her frail arms around Ami's narrow waist more, finding herself in a tight hug, but staining her friend's silk robe with flowing tears she didn't even know she had. She clung to her as if she was a life jacket and if she let go, she would float away, taken by the waves and lost in the depths of sorrow.

She couldn't stop thinking about what he was thinking, what he thought of her now, what he was doing now. Had he moved on, was he happy, or was he doing the same as her now, thinking the same questions about her?

She couldn't stop thinking about how this seemed more than caring.

"It's okay Usagi." But Ami's words did nothing to her as she sniffled and breathed heavy with cries, while another terrifying thought shot through her body and into her heart.

She couldn't stop thinking how an idiot she was to fall in love with someone she never had.

* * *

"Open the door!" He pounded on the apartment door with his tense fist.

No answer or noise resonated within the home.

Motoki scoffed annoyingly. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

Nothing.

"I can't believe you stood her up!"

Silent.

"You just left her there!"

A pin could drop.

"It's like you don't want to be happy!"

Still silence.

He was about to beat on the door again but thought better of it, bracing his hands against the doorframe instead. "I thought you loved her, I thought you _still_ love her."

More silence.

"One day you'll wake up, and realize how you deserve to be happy but never gave yourself the chance."

He could of sworn he heard a small amount of movement inside the apartment. "I just hope when that happens, it won't be too late."

This time it was complete silence again and Motoki knew he had done all he could from there. It was up to _him_ to make the decisions of his own life.

Motoki took it with a grain of rice and a shake of his head, took his leave to the elevators. But as the sliding doors closed, a scowl appeared toward the sealed door.

* * *

"Don't even think about it Usagi."

The blonde slowly retracted her hand from the rice bag with a frown. " _A stupid 27 hours isn't going to affect anything…_ "

Rei threw a glare to her friend over the rim of her wine glass. "Well it will affect the water that's still in your phone."

Usagi huffed, stuffing down another stick of yakitori, slipping the lean pieces of chicken off the wood with her tongue. "You sound like Ami."

The black-haired woman smirked at the comment. "Why are you in such a hurry to get that phone back? It would be more healthy for you to have a little less screen time, huh?"

Crystal blue eyes broke eye contact and instead she focused on the nail picking that was happening in her lap. "I-It's just because I don't want to pay for a new one, so I'm anxious it won't work."

"Anything….else I can get for you," the waiter questioned, eyeing the plastic bag of rice resting next to Usagi's hand, on the table.

Rei furrowed her ebony eyebrows but smiled. "Uh no we're fine. Thank you."

"Why do people keep staring at me weird," Usagi asked after the man left their table to tend to another.

"I don't know," Rei shook her head, "I mean you're just a normal girl walking around with a ziplock bag of uncooked rice like it's completely normal."

The blonde cocked her head with a straight face. "Subtle baka."

"Sure," Rei replied with a cocky grin, "I'm the not so subtle one."

Usagi scoffed and sipped at her glass of water.

Suddenly her friend's eyes widened, quickly dropping her glass. "Oh my god, I never asked you but how was the date Motoki set you up with?"

She cringed, the head throbbing of the hangover and the sharp pain in her heart over the phone loss. "Well, I dressed my sexiest and felt great annnnnddddd," sarcasm oozed from her voice, "the great guy Motoki so talked up never showed up."

"What!," Rei exclaimed, scoffing right after. "Well screw him and his great guyness."

She shrugged her shoulders. "I mean it wasn't a complete loss," Usagi popped in a piece of battered and fried tempura into her mouth, "Dude paid for my meal anyway, I got wine drunk, vented to the staff, got the whole restaurant to do a conga line I think, and I slept until one in the afternoon the next day."

The blazer wearing, dark-haired woman nodded her head with wide but impressed eyes. "Wow, hell of night. Definite contender for top five dates in my opinion."

"Definitely!"

Usagi returned to her last few skewers of steaming yakitori, watching her friend across from her, fish out udon noodles with some chopsticks, looking every inch of elegance and skilled with the utensils, while she could barely keep herself from getting poked in the eye with them.

She nawed on the clean stick, gawking at the plastic bag, where she knew her silly phone was, hopefully allowing the rice to do its magic and repair the accidental water damage.

There was the gut clenching, stomach flip flopping like a training gymnast, hot and cold goosebumps running all over her skin. Tomorrow, she would make her decision.

"You're going to call him aren't you?"

Usagi's blues shot up to Rei's vivid violets, breathe too short and heart against her chest. "W-what I-I don't-"

"I'm a lawyer Usagi," finishing a sip from her glass, she met her gaze again, "I can spot a liar, a bad one too. Plus Makoto has a really loose mouth."

The grad student pouted deep, but sighed. "I am."

Then it was Rei breathing out her nose loudly, fingers slipping to the chopsticks again.

Usagi opened her mouth and closed it, but her lips parted once more and her voice was found. "I know you don't approve of it."

She tipped back her wine glass, the red liquid disappearing. But the bottom of the glass landed softly on the white tablecloth, her slender hand cool and still. "You're right, I don't."

Usagi's knees locked underneath the table, gaze was downcast, hands rubbing together frantically. "I-I understand."

The tension was thick and unwelcomed by either party, Usagi swallowing the lump in her suddenly tight throat. Rei was the only one who had been unsupportive in this mess, concerned about Usagi getting broken, _rejected_ again and having to pick up the pieces after, like always.

"You've never met this guy-"

"It doesn't matter what he looks like-"

"It's not about his looks," Rei shut her eyes, and then opened them, "It's not _all_ about his looks. But you have no idea what kind of guy he is."

"I do."

"Usagi a few text messages doesn't mean you know the guy."

Taken so back from the statement, Usagi's eyes flew to Rei's iron, leveled gaze. "It wasn't just a few text messages Rei. You have no idea what the hell we talked about and how long we talked."

"Usagi-"

"You guys can never understand but I feel something with this," her eyes were large, pleading for a chance to explain, "I've never met him, yes. But don't you fall in love with your heart, not your eyes."

Rei grew pale, her stomach coiling into a twisted ball. " _Love?_ "

She lost her confidence, gaze returning to her fidgeting fingers under the table. "Y-yes. But I know-"

Abruptly, Rei stood up from the table, briefcase in one hand and 5000 yen in the other. "I have to get back to the office. It's my turn to pay so here."

Usagi stood to catch her, tears building behind her eyes. "Rei-chan…."

"No Usagi," the look etched on her friend's face sent the blonde's hand reeling back, "I've already tried to talk you off the ledge but it seems that you already plunged off the edge, heart first. All I can do now is wait to help you pick up the pieces. I'll see ya."

Her heel turned and she left the restaurant all too quickly, leaving Usagi to watch her straight ebony hair sway as Rei walked out the entrance, and fall back into her chair, pondering her friend's words and the thought that maybe she had already shattered, but not all the pieces could be found this time.

* * *

He was the biggest idiot.

Having the audacity to call her, expecting her to even answer him.

It had been almost three days, two nights since that rejected call and he was going insane.

Nearly pulling hair strands from his rough raking, the man paced back and forth against his carpet to cool off the nerves but it barely helped, not with his lurching stomach and shaky skin.

Four months. He thought after at least one he'd be able to let go, _finally_ let go but it was idiotic to even suggest that with his history - with his _feelings._

Four months but each day his mind always strayed to her, to her smile, to her laugh, to the way her eyes lit up when the smallest things would happen-

' _You're a complete creep,'_ his mind whispered, and he couldn't deny it. This long and still he was thinking about one girl, just one stupid person that he couldn't forget because his brain wouldn't heed to his endless requests to just erase everything that ever involved the name Usagi Tsukino.

But then he would lose happiness, love, forfeit his heart that he long lost to her.

He needed closure and each time his phone produced a noise, he sprang to it in a heartbeat, praying it was her but also relieved when it wasn't.

' _Move on.'_

It was obvious she had, he had lost his numerous chances with her because he was a coward, scared of what she would say or do to him. The unknown was more safe, it gave hope to him when nothing else did. He always reminded himself of that to help with the pain.

She fell for his words, but what about behind the words? Only so much looked good on paper, or rather, texts.

Noticing the time, he shook his head and stood up to leave to clear his head early. ' _Move on, let go.'_

It was time to and he felt the sound of his door shutting as a deafening last nail to his coffin.

* * *

" _Horrible reference sources, weak thesis, use a thesaurus next time Ms. Tsukino.."_

Usagi wanted to snap her laptop screen in half because of Professor Shiro's comments on her paper. She still couldn't believe she had to take _another_ course from that quack. She was almost through with him and that's what's been driving her goodwill and keeping down the murderous tendencies that sprang up every time she saw the grey-haired teacher.

A small thud broke her from the laptop trance, a coffee cup appearing on her table.

"On the house."

She smiled at Rue, spotting Yuko, standing behind the pick-up counter. "You guys really didn't have to."

"Just shut up and take the coffee crazy lady," Yuko called out to her, chuckling after.

"You're one of our favorite customers," Rue informed, leaning against a broom, "We don't mind it."

"Thanks," Usagi grinned, taking a greedy sip from the rich, thick liquid.

"Don't mention it," he said, ducking away and resuming his sweeping around the shop.

If she couldn't take any positives away from the past stressful months, she could at least take away that making friends with the coffee shop workers was definitely a huge plus and pick-me up with their constant friendlessness nowadays.

She sighed into her drink, needing the drink after dealing with a long and worrisome mother because quote " _not communicating with your parents for two days straight is incredibly reckless Usagi!"_

After a foolish explanation of her phone bugging out on her, Usagi calmed down the matriarch of her family at a breakfast date, promising to call her tonight. _Hopefully._

The 48 hour cycle was about to be complete, which means the time to open her phone and see the results was donning on her. There was two parts of her, one that dreaded the thought of losing her phone and never answering him, and the other that still dreaded the thought of facing the choice to call him back, to talk to him, but on this method of communicating, she wouldn't have so much time to think of her witty responses.

A double-edged sword it was.

And it was coming up fast.

Sighing and relenting, she packed up her laptop and textbook.

As she pushed the door open, the blonde couldn't help the small glance at the lone chess board, all the pieces having been reassembled months ago. It looked so innocent and simple but the underlying complications that laid beneath the surface was so much more. It wasn't just a chess board anymore.

It was so much more.

* * *

She stared at it, probably for fifteen minutes, not moving an inch.

When she first got home, Usagi nearly took a knife to the bag of rice trying to open it, so intent on learning the fate of her phone. And the feeling that had coursed through her veins when the apple insignia had materialized on the black screen was something that was indescribable, the most beautiful sight she had ever seen to be honest.

Then her bright, bunny and crescent moon filled lockscreen met her watery eyes, then her intact photo albums, all her contacts, her game high scores, her music playlists - her phone speakers were still water damaged and distorted but she could get by - and then happy tears formed so much she couldn't see straight anymore.

But as the blonde rejoiced in her newly rejuvenated phone, her flames of delight were doused with cold water when a red circle with a number two was placed above her call app.

_Two? Two notifications?_

She was hesitant at first, eventually letting her finger drop to the icon and the call list popping up. Her heart almost lept at the _Chess Boy_ contact that appeared at the bottom of a long missed call list from her mom.

But she didn't even know what her heart did when there was a notification on her voicemail.

It was her mom, 100% her mom.

_Chess Boy_

_Mobile_

_16/04/19_

_1:07_

Her eyes closed, and her stomach dropped.

She couldn't believe it, she couldn't understand - she couldn't _breathe._

She had his voice, his real words, the closest she had to seeing or meeting him.

So why did her eyes fly open to look - to wait for ten minutes, debating in her head whether to listen to it or not, to hear his voice, even if her phone will make the vocals distorted.

Pressing play would mean falling back into the rabbit hole, offering her heart on a silver platter again. It would mean she was ready to go through this, for him, again.

And then she knew, her hand dropping and the voicemail beginning, distorted speakers and all.

' _Here goes nothing…..'_

" _Uh hi…..if you still have my number saved, then you already know who this is."_

Even without the distortion of voice, Usagi could tell he was speaking low and quiet, but his voice sent shivers down her spine nevertheless.

" _I-It's been a long time, I know, but it's just…..I wanted to tell you, somehow….I'm sorry."_

' _What?'_

" _I'm sorry for everything that happened. It was just a b-big mistake and- but I'm not saying that you were a mistake! No, no, no I just meant that I-I'm sorry what I put you through, if I made you hurt, if I made you cry- and if you completely forgot about me and this message means nothing to you, I'm sorry for bothering you too."_

"Bothering me," she whispered confused.

" _I'm sorry, so sorry I just- I just wanted to tell you that I still remember you, and that it wasn't just a game of chess to me. I wasn't laughing at you or p-playing with your feelings or-or anything like that, I swear. I just wanted you to know that and I hope you get this message so that you know I meant no harm or for really any of this to happen. That's why I called..."_

He sighed, silence for a few seconds and she thought he hung up but his voice broke, attempting to start again.

" _This is also goodbye, because I know I didn't leave it off all that well- for either of us. So it was a pleasure talking to you, getting to know you, and I'll leave you alone now. But I will leave you one last thing. Usagi Tsukino, never love anyone who treats you as if you're ordinary."_

Her heart thumped extra hard when he said 'love'.

" _Uh i-it's from Oscar Wilde, he was an Irish playwright- a guy who just knew how to use the right words basically, and it's stupid to say that but I thought it fit you, because you're anything but ordinary. And you should always remember that-"_

_"End of Voicemail"_

She barely moved, her elbows sitting on the edge of the kitchen countertop, head dropped in between, and fingers threaded through her loose blonde hair. Little droplets splattered on the cheap black, bracket granite that she absolutely hated because it was too dark and grungy and not at all her style-

She sniffled as she flew out of control with her tears and hiccups.

 _Confused._ She was so confused on her feelings. Happy? Angry? Sad? _Heartbroken?_

It was a colossal wreck of emotions exploding in her heart, that couldn't stop beating out of her chest, as if she had ran a 25k marathon seconds before.

He….he called to say _sorry?_

To tell her goodbye…

His voice…..it was him, that was his voice through all the glitches and deterioration of her phone, his voice that came from his mouth, _his lips_ , and she didn't know how, but she could just picture him running a hand through his hair while talking. She didn't even know if he _had_ hair but it was a fuzzy image that appeared in her mind out of nowhere.

And she tortured herself more, replaying the voicemail at least three times more, to hear his voice, his ticks, his stumbling, _him_.

Each time she reached the end of the respective replay, Usagi's heart would sink at his goodbye, and his last words.

" _...because you're anything but ordinary…"_

She wiped the tears away and knew that if she hadn't already plunged off the cliff, as Rei had said, the blonde would have certainly taken a nosedive after this stunt.

 _God,_ why did he do this? Why did he make this harder for her?

Why did he have to say goodbye to her? Why say sorry?

He knew her name, what she looked like, all her feelings and thoughts, so much, but all she had was a nickname, a phone number, and a minute or so voicemail with fucked up audio.

That's what she had and she wasn't taking it for granted, but the scales were unbalanced. She needed closure, one last conversation.

But not a written one.

The speaker phone was ringing in her ears all of a sudden, and she could feel her breath picking up as she hastily brushed away the tears with the pads of her fingers.

It rang and rang and rang and she kept holding her breath for his voice to patch through and say hello.

After a few rings, she braced herself for the voicemail greeting, praying that maybe - just maybe - he did his own and he would say his name-

_"You've reached (080) 197-5330. Please leave your message at the beep."_

The mechanical female voice stopped and the aforementioned beep blared, causing her to panic and realize that she had prepared nothing.

"Um-uh-I-hi, this is Usag-well you probably know who this is I'm guessing h-huh?"

_Smooth Usagi, smooth…._

"I-I just wanted to return your call and I-I heard your voicemail about everything and I just-just…"

' _Want to tell you I don't want you to leave me alone. I want you to stay with me, to talk to me, to comfort me, to hold me, to touch me….to meet me. And I want to know everything there is about you. All your worries, stress, past, dreams, secrets, everything! Every last detail that there is, I want to listen, to learn….. from your actual voice, not just some text message. I wanna see your eyes light up, or hear your laugh when something hilarious happens. I need so much more than this. I never want to say goodbye.'_

She could never say that, she could never have the guts to.

"I just…..want closure."

Her heart pounded and bounced all the way to her throat. "Just one more thing and I swear you'll be rid of me." The pathetic laugh caused Usagi to cringe.

"Y-you know everything about me but I don't even know the color of your hair…..so just give me one last chance. Meet me. At the coffee shop."

It was a stupid shot.

"On Friday night, at 6 o'clock."

The _stupidest_ shot in the world.

"I'll be sitting at the chess table, waiting for you."

But it was worth a try.

" _Please_ , come. You don't have to, but…."

" _End of message."_

She pounded her fist against the countertop when the click echoed along with the robotic voice, signaling her time was up. She had ended it so wrong, so abrupt, so _stupid!_

All the words were stuck in her throat, along with her tears, that were just barely spilling over the edge.

Usagi buried her wet face in her hands, leaning against the kitchen island, her phone screen still open to her contacts.

He would come…..

He was going to come on Friday.

He was.

That's what she had to believe.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyday Usagi moves a chess piece and the next day, someone else always moves another. Who is she playing against? Coffee Shop AU with tons of fluff and laughter and romance that'll leave you with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS! It's the reveal chapter! Yes yes you will now know who exactly is the mysterious chess player! But oh don't worry, this isn't the last chapter. Here is the reveal chapter of the little Coffee AU that could! There's just very small time hops that hopefully you'll figure out lol I hope you all enjoy and god, please feed my geek side and tell me in the reviews what you thought about the huge reveal! Enjoy!
> 
> Oh yea and regular disclaimer of: I'm sorry if it sucks and you regret reading this whole story after all. Was not my intention lol

**Chapter Nine**

The secretary poked her head around her computer after ending her phone call. "It'll be just a few more minutes Tsukino-san."

"Uh-thank you," Usagi stumbled out, biting her lip right after, staring at the small clock hanging on the wall across from her. Each second ticked by and her lungs felt more and more constricted as it went on.

It was just a regular meeting. A _required_ , and _forced_ meeting, but still, just a regular meeting.

That could make or break her chances, but _whatever, right_?

She could always work at a fast food restaurant…

"You can go in now Tsukino-san."

Usagi politely recepociated the woman's smile with a tight and trembling one. Her legs were shaking and she discovered her hand was too, when it curled around the office doorknob and it began rattling.

She swallowed thickly. She was Usagi Tsukino, master of all mistakes, cluminess, unfortunates, but she was also Usagi Tsukino, master of smiling through everything and seeing the light at the end of the dim, sucky tunnel.

One dumb (once again, fucking _required_ ) advising meeting with Professor Shiro was not going to be the end of her. _Maybe her career…._

"Ah Miss Tsukino-san." The wrinkled old man didn't even look up from his studies when the blonde nearly tripped on the edge of his rug as she entered.

She flushed to the shade of a tomato by the time her bottom fell to one of the two dark green, leather chairs that sat in front of the deep mahogany wood desk, Professor Shiro in his all wisdom, grey-haired glory, seated behind in a tall, comfortable plush chair.

It was at least a few minutes of erratic pencil scratching and Usagi fiddling with the hem of the black, modest A-line sundress or one of the plastic buttons sewn on the dark blue blazer. Both clothing pieces were courtesy of Ami's closet since Professor ' _Shit-ro'_ wasn't the most keen on her regular, bright, lively, class outfits. If there ever was a time to please the quack-bean, today was the day.

And she nearly jumped, the chair fabric squeaking against her, when the pencil clattered to the wood surface.

"So _Tsukino_ ," he emphasised, propping open a shiny brown file folder, before finding her twitching gaze, "Tell me why I should pass you and let you move on to achieve your master's degree?"

The peach-sized lump lodged in her tight throat, trembled. This was it. She could either 'wow' the teacher who has had a vendetta against her since the first day when she spilled her milk tea all over his class notes, or she could flunk out and have the disgrace of being denied a master's degree.

"Well Professor Shiro," she started, "I have the right to pass this class because I have been very much hardworking, appropriate-"

"Evidence?"

She was thrown for a loop, her cue cards hadn't prepared her for this. "I'm sorry, w-what?"

He was scribbling something into the file folder, not meeting her eyes, voice emotionless. "Please cite some evidence Miss Tsukino that backs up your claims."

 _Evidence?_ "E-evidence-"

"Yes, evidence. The available body of facts indicating whether a belief is true or valid," he explained to her, as if she was in grammar school.

"Uh well some evidence w-would be-" at her stutters, his wrist flicked with the pencil over the paper "-uuhhh there was that one paper when I wrote about my work and research with the orphanages I visited-"

His bony wrist stopped. "Could you recall your grade for that particular paper?"

She rapidly blinked, her red blush flaring up more. "It was a…..79. But that was only because of my flaky citation sources that you graded heavily on-"

"Any other additional _convincing_ evidence you have to offer?"

Her mind racked for a single piece of credible, decent classwork that would get Professor Shiro to stop looking at her- like _that,_ that disapproving stare her parents used to give her. It made her want to curl into a ball and hide from the world, hide her dishonor of herself.

"Well let's just move on then," he sighed, eyes peeking out from the top of his glasses that made her gulp with fear. "Why did you choose this kind of major Miss Tsukino?"

' _Thank you cue cards!'_ "Well," she started cheerfully, "I was always clueless on what to do in life when my high school graduation was approaching-"

"So social work just seemed like something you could fall into and something to do."

"Yes," she answered with a smile but the smile fell and her eyes exploded. "Wai-wait! I didn't mean it like that!"

He flinched at the defense and the redness returned to her face as his wrist kept flicking- "I just meant I was confused on how to really use my skills and abilities correctly in my life but I found that social work really fit me like a glove and I could really see my career in the field really exceling."

His bushy eyebrows wavered slightly and she frowned but nearly facepalmed when she recalled her sentence that used 'really' four times. He hated repetitive word play.

' _If I'm lucky, Mr. Furuhata is hiring at the arcade.'_

"Next question," His beady, judgemental, little eyes bore into her shivering soul. "What do you want from life Miss Tsukino?"

She froze, more confused than anything. "E-excuse me?"

He paused then slid his glasses off his face while leaning back into his chair. "Every year, and with every student I ask this question, more of a personal question than academic but I feel it gives the individual some perspective to their life."

"So Tsukino-san, what do you desire from your life?"

Her double-practicing of her homemade cue notes did NOT prepare her for this curveball. What did she want? Would it be so cheesy to say that she wanted to be happy? Or go for the classic answer of a blossoming career, loving husband, 2.5 kids, a dog (this case a cat), and a big house with a white picket fence?

But that's what she wanted, no?

Was it…..

"I don't know," she uttered, her shoulders falling along with her eyes. She lost her sight of a future a long time ago because life showed her that nothing of what she planned was going to work out, that many things would hit her like a speeding car, with no warning and sometimes she won't recover and that it was normal. Life was never going to be 100% her perfect vision.

So what did she want truly anymore?

A phone ringing brought her out of her trance. "Professor Shiro you have the Dean calling for you. Should I tell her to call back?"

Her teacher pressed a button. "No that's fine Chiko-san. Put her on hold, I'm finished."

It was like her heart had dropped to the floor and a crowd had stomped on it numerous times.

No. _No._

"So Tsukino-"

"I can do better I swear!"

He then froze for once in bewilderment.

"Give me another chance, I can do better I swear! That last question caught me off guard and I've been going through a lot, _believe me_. And I want to give you all I am- I mean professionally of course! A-and I just need one more try-"

"Tsukino-"

"Just one more damn time please! I deserve that from you! I try in class, I really do! I care sooooo much and it's not fair-"

"Tomorrow at two."

Then she was frozen. "Tomorrow? At two?"

"Yes," he looked up to meet her her wide blue eyes, "Will that be a problem?"

"No!-I mean not at all P-professor Shiro," she plead, realizing she was standing and leaning toward him, hands braced on the desk which she quickly let go of after said realization. "Thank you, thank you! Tomorrow at two! I'll be here, bright and early!"

"Good," he replied, returning to the paperwork, wrist flurioshing against the paper, "It'll give you more time to think over my last question. I expect a more proper answer tomorrow Tsukino."

Her heart clenched and Usagi let her exterior fall for a second but she came back up. "Y-you got it! I'll blow you away with my answer tomorrow Professor Shiro! Just watch, or listen really!"

"I can hardly wait," he muttered as the blonde gathered her belongings and scattered away and out the door.

The secretary bid her farewell but Usagi could barely answer her when she reached the fancy elevator, a relieved breathe puffed from her glossed lips as she nearly collapsed on one of the railings.

One meeting, done.

Another, far more riskier, meeting on the horizon.

She checked her watch. 4:00.

Her eyes shut and she felt the blood rush to her face.

' _Please come….'_

* * *

" _You got another one?"_

_The seventeen-year-old blonde blushed, but nevertheless proudly presented her love letter for all her crazed and disbelieving friends sitting at the picnic table. "Is it possible that he's getting even more sweeter with each note?"_

" _Oh yea I'm practically getting diabetes.."_

_Rei popped an elbow into Minako. "Stop being 'Mrs. Green with Envy' idiot. Be happy for her."_

_The red-ribboned blonde stuck her tongue out to the black-haired teen but quickly straightened when she caught sight of the fallen face of the adjacent blonde. "No Usagi I'm not jealous at all! I'm happy that someone realizes how amazing you are and obviously cares for you….."_

" _Then what," Usagi questioned, her sandwich forgotten on the plastic bag._

" _...it's just," Minako scrunched up her face, her gaze boring into her unfinished bento,"...are you sure they're from Masao?"_

" _Minako," Makoto scolded from her spot._

" _Oh come on, like we're all not thinking it," she admitted with a pointed look. "You think Mr. Self-Absorbed could really write something that could pass as the work of Shakespete-"_

" _-Pear," Ami corrected but Minako ignored her._

" _-like it's insane to think of that meathead writing this," she turned to a hurt Usagi, "I'm sorry Usa, but I don't believe it."_

_The pigtailed blonde picked at the edge of the white card, biting her lip to keep the tears in. "T-then who could it be Minako?" She cursed hearing the broken tone of her voice. She was never good at stopping her feelings._

" _I-I don't know. M-maybe your cute locker neighbor with the dreamy eyes? Or that one boy who always bumps into you on the stairs? Hell, maybe that one geek who sits next next to you in Chemis-"_

" _You're wrong Minako," Usagi cut her off harsh. "It's Masao, I know it."_

_Stuffing her trash and unfinished food into her lunch bag, tears shining but not falling. She stomped away, not minding her other friend's calls to come back, to talk about this but she didn't want to hear it. It was Masao, he said it was._

_Why would he lie? Why go to the trouble?_

_And who else could possible like her this much…_

* * *

"Do you want an open casket or a closed casket?"

Usagi rolled her eyes as she poked the earring through the hole. "I'm not going to get murdered Minako."

"That is exactly what murders victims say right before they go to a date with someone they don't know and get _murdered_."

"Then what the hell are blind dates?"

Usagi swiveled around to face the open laptop and almost came to the conclusion that the video feed at frozen but ditched it when Minako blinked confused. "Uhhhhh….because on blind dates a person you trust, knows the date and therefore trusts them and in turn you trust your trustful friend so you trust your date not to chop you up into little pieces and bury you in a park where dogs poop and pee all over your grave."

Crystal blue eyes narrowed at the camera. "Have you been binge watching those American crime shows?"

Again, frozen but then unfrozen, along with a sigh. "It's the only thing they have on the TV in the hotel room. Brightside, I can now determine if someone died from drowning or strangulation."

"Oh yes very useful," Usagi amused with a smile.

She finally was able to clip in her dangly earrings, the ones that produced flowing movement every time she turned her head. Plus it drew some attention to her smooth neck.

"You look really pretty Usa."

She felt the corners of her mouth pull up at her friend's compliment. "Thanks Minako. I wish you were here with me, fussing over what to wear or obsessing over my choice of lipgloss."

They both laughed, Minako nodding her head. "I really miss you guys but at least next week is coming and the honeymoon phase will sadly, not so sadly be over."

Another cheerful laugh on both ends.

Then it was silent, besides the blonde in the apartment shuffling around, arranging things, checking her reflection often. She had to look, or at least, appear perfect.

Minako broke the silence, poking at the elephant in the room finally. "You really think he's going to come?"

Usagi paused in moisturizing her hands but resumed, thankful that she had moved away from the laptop camera, Minako having always been a wiz at seeing her emotional walls. "I have to believe he is."

"But what if he doesn't?"

"Then he doesn't okay," she replied, rough and harsh. ' _He was coming, he was.'_ She softened, her heart beat lowering. "I have to go Minako, it was nice at least talking to you and seeing you at the same time."

She heard a light chuckle and saw a soft smile but she knew Minako wasn't all there. "Yea it was. Have fun tonight, and don't get murdered."

"Alright," Usagi respected, grinning.

"And Usagi," Minako spoke just before her finger hit the key. "Remember, love is not something you find, it's something that finds you Usa."

That ball of butterflies at the base of her stomach grew ten folds even after she said goodbye, and hung up on Minako's video call, padding over to the bathroom.

With nimble fingers, the golden beauty twisted pieces of hair around the hot rod, creating the waves she desired. Then her lips looked dull so she quickly plucked out a tube of shiny lip gloss from her turquoise makeup bag. She swiped some on, cleaning off the edges of her soft lips.

Her face looked presentable, beautiful she would dare to say but….

What if she wasn't enough?

That while she sits at the coffee shop, all eager and ready, he comes in, sees her, and walks straight out. Her looks have never been a problem before, all his reddening compliments were evident of that, as well as their more intimate text conversations, but maybe she wasn't pretty for him anymore, losing her appeal in the daytime.

What-what if she was boring or annoying or-

She felt the tears build but had vowed to never let them fall again over a simple guy.

' _But it wasn't just a simple guy.'_

Nothing about him seemed simple.

If there ever was a way to describe a complicated relationship, hers was the perfect example. She knows bits and pieces of him, enough to bring together a tragic past and aspiring future but nothing, _nothing,_ could bring the same feeling as seeing him, face to face.

Usagi had abandoned trying to deduce who it was using the high school notes, it lead her through rabbit holes and stuck at dead ends so she started a blank slate and forgot about it.

Masao would never remember the guy's name (and even if he did, Usagi was sure the creep wouldn't even admit it) and she wouldn't deal with the headache of mentally shuffling through every single male member of her high school.

She tightened her left bun, adding an extra bobby pin to that one strand that always stood out if she didn't tend to it.

" _Love is not something you find, it's something that finds you Usa…"_

She sighed. ' _But what if love doesn't want to find me?'_

* * *

" _Seriously dude? Love letters?"_

_He twitched on the floor, curling up next to his askewn bag. Trying to be so small, and disappear into the school woodwork._

" _And to my girlfriend?"_

_He avoided the mocking gaze._

" _But really I should be thanking you."_

_His stomach wanted to expel everything it had from lunch._

" _It's funny how you wrote the letters, trying to proclaim your 'love' to her but in the end, you forgot to sign your name."_

_He shut his eyes, but god, he couldn't shut his ears._

" _And now she thinks it's me. Like I said, funny."_

_It was his fault._

" _You've actually made it worse for you and helped me."_

_He was an idiot and coward afterall._

" _And now," his voice became closer, and a pair of shoes appeared when he lifted his eyelids just a tad. "You're going to keep helping me."_

' _No. Say it. Say no.'_

" _Because it's not like you're going to confess to her. You know that she would never in a million years, go for you."_

_His eyes shut again._

" _So just keep doing what you're doing…"_

_He heard sheets of paper rustling._

" _...keep writing your heart out lover boy."_

_He came to the sight of the smirking football player, holding out one of his spilled notebooks, the one that he used to plan out his writings. Where he wrote things he never ever would say out loud._

_The notebook in which he wrote all his love for Usagi Tsukino._

* * *

The last bit of coffee swished around at the bottom of her paper cup, making her cringe and restrain from drinking the now cold liquid. Usagi raised a hand, signaling another round of caffeine to the female barista at the counter.

After the brunette nodded and disappeared into the back to prepare the said coffee, Usagi found her eyes back to the front door where numerous Japanese citizens were flowing in and out of the shop, slipping past each other with ease and not giving much thought to who they did interact with.

She watched as each person paid her no attention, just drinking from the black lids of their paper cups or eyes glued to their phone, little human interaction happening besides the pairs or groups of friends.

People watching always seemed to fill the boredom void when her phone fell victim to low battery, or when she was procrastinating homework, so it was only just to slip into that glazed-eyed mindset of observing the different people of Tokyo.

There was a elderly man sitting at a table, sipping his order from a fluorescent orange ceramic mug, wrinkles creased and sharp, obviously concentrating or afflicted by some burden placed on him. Across a few tables, there was a girl, a few years younger than Usagi, drowning in binders and packets and highlighters and _were those tissues?_

Stifling a half sigh-half giggle, her eyes landed next to a couple that were a few feet from her and waiting in line. She couldn't quite hear their conversation from afar and at such a noise level but she could see the tall guy's smirk to the girl as his lips moved, saying something, and whatever it was, caused the long-haired girl to turn to him with a shocked gasp that converted to an open mouth smile and an affectionate swat to the shoulder.

She frowned and she lowered her gaze, her eyes fell to the checkered, wooden board in front of her.

It _was_ only 6:15, maybe his train ran late? Or he hadn't gotten out of work yet? Or perhaps he was lost…

' _Or he's not coming at all.'_

She shook it off, taking the new cup of coffee gratefully from the barista's hand when she came sweeping in.

He _was_ coming.

* * *

It's only 7:00, there was still a glimmer of hope left for her.

Then it was almost 8:00. Still, she felt hope, it was just a slit but it was there, shining.

And then it was 10:00 and people were barely hanging on or leaving out the door but she didn't notice, just kept watching her phone ever so once in a while when it lit up.

She thought after the voicemail, that maybe…...he would come because he felt….

His voicemail, he sounded so-or did she read it all wrong?

Why couldn't it be easy-why couldn't he just make it easy?

She gave him every single opportunity to just show up and meet her, face to face at the place where it all started.

"Usagi?"

The name forced her to move and she prayed when she looked up it was him, standing over her, ready to apologize for being so late and being the biggest idiot in the world…

But she sighed and lowered her eyes, body visibly deflating. "Yes?"

"We're closing now," Wasu said, a tender look in his eyes. He knew who she had been waiting for and Usagi could just feel his pity radiate from him.

She opened her phone. 11:15. "Alright, can you just give me a few more minutes?"

He nodded, that soft, understanding smile that she had gotten so used to on his lips. "Of course. I'm just heading out and thought I should say bye."

"What's up with your plans tonight," she asked, a half smile somehow rising.

He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well me and Aika were just going to stay in tonight and watch a movie, probably fall asleep during it."

"Nice," she mused looking back down, shaking her empty paper cup.

"Hey, can you whip up another," Wasu called out to the counter, a deep "sure" answering him back.

"You don't have to," Usagi stopped him, "Please."

He shook his head, that stupid, warm smile still there. "No, I want to. This place practically runs on your orders."

"Very true," she laughed softly, feeling grateful for the chance of having a smile. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," he replied, friendly smile growing. "I'll get going then, leave you to your date."

She snorted. "What date," she muttered, but he heard it anyway.

"Hey, some guys just don't know what huge mistakes they're making," Wasu acknowledged, voice echoing in the empty shop, a little bit louder.

"Thanks," Usagi said. He smiled brightly one last time before heading out. "Tell Akia I said hi!"

"I'll tell her," he shouted, then the door opened and shut, leaving her to herself.

It was over. She had promised that if he didn't come, it would be over, she would never bother him again, she wouldn't think about him everyday and wonder who the hell he was. Maybe she'll pass him on the street and never know. Maybe she'll sit next to him on the train and won't mind a speck of attention to him.

She could see him, even talk to him, and she would never know who he was.

She threaded her hand through her bangs, so frustrated and wishing to pull out every root.

It was like reading her favorite book, relishing in the mystery and romance and intensity, but discovering that the last page was missing.

She'll never know what color his hair is, or it's length. Or the color of his eyes. Or his smile, or his laugh…..

A cup landed on the chess board and she opened her glossy eyes to the floor, a pair of familiar black, bleach-stained sneakers next to her nude heels.

But they twisted around and were about to leave-

"Thanks Rue," Usagi rushed out, swatting away the moisture that had run down her cheeks, straightening in her seat to see his frozen back.

"No problem." And he continued on but her brows furrowed.

"I didn't know you made coffee," she inferred, needing a conversation to keep her clear, "Like a barista."

He seemed to finally get what she was doing and turned around to properly fill in the conversation she was trying to desperately have with someone, anyone. "I was a barista, sometimes I still am, but I just drifted to the cleaning duties more…"

"Oh," she said, taking a test sip of the steaming coffee, and she forced her eyes not to roll back at the amazing taste that her taste buds.

She gave a very appreciative groan. "Well, m-maybe you should be a barista more. This is heaven in a cup."

And she saw his lips quirk into a lopsided grin under his cap, one, she noticed, that appears only when she says something barely half-amusing, or she pulls an 'Usagi' antic such as spilling her coffee or running into the front door more than once on occasion. "Good to know. I'll go tell Wasureta and I'm sure he'll quickly put me on the schedule."

"Great! Just tell me the times and I'll be here waiting for some top-of-the-line java!"

Then he chuckled, his chest rumbling. "Alright."

He turned again, probably getting ready to kick her out of here and get to his own life.

But….

"So how long have you been here?"

She needed some kind of conversation, and out of all of them, Rue seemed to avoid her the most, coming up to her only when prompted by someone else. He was a closed book, a trait she was way too _unfamiliar_ with. Even if she probably had the most humiliating, hopeless Friday ever, she couldn't help but try to talk to someone human before retreating to her awaiting cat and fish.

He skidded to a stop again, half turned to her. "Uh I think about like four-three years?"

"Wait four-"

"-maybe three-"

"-years, and I just talked to you a few months ago," she asked, shell-shocked. Sure, she didn't know _everyone_ who worked here but four years and nothing?

"Uh it's okay, really," he insisted softly, "I usually blend in and I'm behind the scenes anyway."

This time, she let him retreat to the counter and return to closing up. The loneliness creeped up again as she was left alone in the shop with her delicious coffee.

For some reason, she still didn't leave, instead, she leaned back and snatched up the white queen from the board, twirling it around in her fingers. Then she plucked the black king from the other side, placing it next to her queen.

She just looked at them. Staring, like a crazy person at two, innocent chess pieces.

And it was back, the stinging in the backs of her eyes and she didn't know why. She didn't know the reason for a lot of things that had happened, not one, but this was the strangest.

Usagi collected all of the black pieces and rolled the cylinders up and down her fingers. He had touched all of these at some point during their game.

"I really am a crazy lady," she whispered to no one but herself, a single tear climbing down her face as she pushed the black pieces away from her. Away from her life.

' _You have to move on now,'_ her mind stated. She raked her hands through her blonde pigtails, pulling as she dropped her throbbing head between her knees. ' _Move. On.'_

She heard shoe squeaks go past her, half-expecting for Rue to tell her that she should leave. But the shoe squeaks kept passing her over and over again, chair scraping accompanying them.

The squeaks over and over again, quick, high-pitched sounds. And then she heard them approaching one time-

"Is it my fault?"

He was past her but froze at the outburst. "What?"

Usagi watched his blurry, tense figure, since they weren't making eye contact. "Do you think it was my fault that this started? That I got too invested into something so stupid? That it was my fault because I moved the piece first? So it's my fault I'm sitting here alone…"

She needed to leave, right then, she needed to leave long ago but she couldn't bare to move. He was probably so bewildered at her behavior, inching towards the door just in case for an escape plan. The blonde expected no answer to her idiotic questions.

"No."

His feet shifted from her downcast view. "It wasn't your fault."

She hiccuped and blushed, surprised at his answer. "It's _not_?"

"No it's all his fault."

"Ho-"

"He's the one who wouldn't meet you. You shouldn't blame yourself."

The floor kept being blurry and she tried to focus… "But I was the one who started this, I presented my heart on a silver platter and I expected it not to get a little banged up." Her voice was hoarse and raspy now. Lifeless, almost.

"W-well love is like a war..."

Why did his feet keep shifting so much?

"...easy to start, but hard to end…"

He turned around to flip over a chair onto a table.

"- _and you never know where it might take you_."

She saw the muscles on his back and shoulders completely still at her identical words.

Her face was stoic, emotionless, but for her blinking eyes. "Oscar Wilde."

_No._

It was like he broke out of the trance immediately, back still to her, flipping the chair like he hadn't paused at all. "You know your poets."

She watched him with curiosity, her wheels turning, generating. "Yea. Just got into him for some reason."

He was silent then. His lean arms flexed as he picked up a few more chairs and flipped them, his speed becoming more and more faster.

It was a thought-

' _No. You're wrong. You need to go home.'_

You could see his hands slightly trembling-

' _It's just a coincidence idiot.'_

His moves were erratic, almost anxious.

' _You've been wrong and look at the results.'_

The voice finally hit her and she shook her golden head. She should know better than to continue this, resume the guessing and pain. Usagi forced her eyes to only remain on the floor space in front of her, not on the innocent shop worker who was innocently cleaning up his workplace.

The smooth white surface of the paper cup rubbed against her palms…...

There was so much that was unresolved.

….her fingers traced the marker swipes…..

She would go on never knowing who this guy was.

….the symbols of her name….

All she had to truly remember 'Chess boy' by, was a cell phone number, scraps of writing, a fucked up voicemail, and lost memories.

…...the ups and downs and swirls…..

What if she remembered who it was, back in high school?

…...her finger traced all the handsome, neat lines…

Would it matter if she remembered?

….it was such nice, pretty handwriting…

No, it wouldn't.

….the writing was scrawled across the side of the cup and it looked so familiar with its flourishes and gentle touch….

Nothing could change her future.

…...it looked too familiar.

She froze, eyes leveling and slightly twitching when her mindless thoughts caught up to her.

It was all too _familiar._

She observed the writing more intently, then, tracing the kanji more precisely and critically. She had seen this type of penmanship, she had memorized it over and over again, each cut and corner-

Whoever wrote this….

Usagi felt like she wasn't even moving anymore, but somehow watched her hand rise up and take hold of her phone, unlocking it, and opening up her contacts.

It was wrong, so wrong, she _knew_.

Somehow the line was already ringing and her heart was pounding against her ribcage and the phone should be slipping out of her hand from how sweaty and shaky it was.

The blonde prepared for silence, for her to be wrong, to not hear the other end….

It echoed against the walls, loud and clear. Mocking, maybe.

Her eyes closed, and a tear seeped out.

She had been so stupid.

Neither of them moved or even flinched at the piercing, ringing sound.

Time stood still and for a few seconds, Usagi wondered if it was even real what was happening. Her ears echoing and the ringing was so damn deafening-

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him move.

His shoulders were hunched and stiff, and ridgely, with a lot of hesitation, his hand disappeared into his deep, jeans pocket, and the vibrating, ringing phone emerged.

He was far, in the middle of flipping a chair when his phone had began ringing, but even from a distance she could read the caller I.D.

' _Blondie'_

Was it normal to start seeing spots, to have your fucking heart beating so hard that it was like a drum in your ears, your breath short and painful, having no control of your tear ducts and feeling wetness run all over your face.

Because that's what happened when Rue declined her call, shoved the phone back in his pocket, and whirled around, without his ball cap.

Silky, jet black strands of hair hung perfectly in front of intense, striking dark blue eyes that you could get lost in over and over. A straight nose and a sharp jawline completed a beautifully made face, then she was going down his broad shoulders, slim but muscled arms, narrow waist, and long legs clothed in dark jeans and a black t-shirt, with the coffee shop insignia printed on it.

But her eyes ran back up to his eyes, the only thing that let her click everything into perfect place in her mind. Those eyes, so sad, vulunable and s-scared?

She knew those eyes. She used to do anything to try and get those eyes to light up, to give them a spark of happiness in high school.

The name clogged her throat, but she said it, scratchy and broken because it took her so long to remember it.

"Mamoru Chiba."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyday Usagi moves a chess piece and the next day, someone else always moves another. Who is she playing against? Coffee Shop AU with tons of fluff and laughter and romance that'll leave you with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And here's chapter ten my friends!! So this is the last chapter that I have to transfer over from my ff.net account of this story! Just gotta wait now for the last two chapters to finally come to me lol
> 
> Wanna give a HUGE thanks to FloraOne with all her endless help and support of this fic, you honestly keep me going girl lol And would also like to give MAJOR credit to UglyGreenJacket who kindly betaed this chapter and I'm sooooo grateful for it! (She is SO awesome and SO nice!)
> 
> Anyway, to my last note: this original chapter was split in half cuz it's too damn long so I'm afraid you guys still have to wait on the reveal after party lol but enjoy some high school pining and LOTS of Mamoru POV.
> 
> It's all flashback so probably not what you guys were expecting but it's necessary for background and plus high school pining is always cute ;)
> 
> Enjoy and tell me what you thought!! Thank you to everyone who has commented and given such warm, sweet reviews! It so drives me on to write these last two chapters I've been struggling with for over a year lol

**Chapter Ten**

_Seven Years Ago_

"You need to do something."

He paused briefly, considering his options, but proceeded to work through his Calculus homework. "I don't need to do anything. Can you hand me my calculator?"

Motoki stood still, but caved with a huff while digging through the backpack laid on the floor. "I'm telling you that you can't hide this forever."

"287 to the fifth power," he whispered to himself, grabbing the grey device from his friend's hand and punching in the equation on the screen. "And no, by the way."

Motoki threw his head back. "Oh, come on!"

"There's no reason for me to do anything," the black-haired teen responded, posing the eraser tip of his pencil at the corner of his mouth, concentrated for a few seconds, then went back to finishing off the problem.

Motoki stomped back to the bed, flopping down on it with an exasperated sigh. "Mamoru, you're never going to get the girl, if you don't grow some you know, balls."

"I'm perfectly fine where I am, Motoki," he sang, hunched over the lighted desk, but unfortunately he had lost his train of thought on math, rather, he had reboarded the blonde, blue-eyed, funny, kind, amazing…

He shook his head, abandoning those thoughts, and returned to the word problems that were on hand to him right now.

"We both know that Masao is the last person she should be dating," Motoki commented from his laid position.

Mamoru sighed through his nose, agreeing silently. "Well, it's her choice, her life," he nearly whispered, his pencil shaking with his hand. "They're almost to a year so... _he's doing something right_."

"I don't know," his friend scowled. "I just know she deserves better."

' _She does,'_ Mamoru's mind uttered. "As long as she's happy…."

He lazily shut his eyes as he heard the sheets ruffle and the bed squeak behind him, preparing for the lecture.

"What about your happiness, Mamoru?" Motoki chided, rough, angry. "I know that you value her happiness, I do too! But you've been in love with this girl since like the sixth grade!"

"It was the eighth grade," the hunched form corrected, his handwriting turning shaky across the worksheet.

"Oh, okay sure," the green-eyed teen spat sarcastically. "She deserves better. She deserves _you_."

Mamoru finally gave up on completing his school work in silence - knowing it was due next week anyway - and spun around in his desk chair to face a standing Motoki. "No, she doesn't. And as long as she's happy, I'm fine too."

Motoki rolled his eyes, landing on the black comforter again with a 'plop'. "Denial's really doing a number on you, huh?"

Mamoru couldn't believe the audacity of his best friend. Of course, if handsome, golden-boy Motoki had feelings for a girl, he would have had no problem having the said girl falling over her own feet to accept his confession. But, _himself_ , confessing to _her_ wouldn't work out in the same outcome. That he knew with absolute certainty.

Afterall, he had perfectly orchestrated a cause and effect probability algorithm for every situation, a pros and cons list, hell, he considered going to a fortune teller just to see if the fates and mighty powers above were even in his court of favor.

"Motoki, there's no way I'm ever going to confess my-," he paused, his mind searching for an innocent word to use in place of the more obvious word you would use with these types of feelings, "- _crush_ to Usagi Tsukino. It's a lost cause and more importantly one-sided."

" _You don't know that_ ," Motoki sang annoyingly.

"She has no idea I exist."

"Yes, she does!"

"Yea, because of you!"

"You have a nickname for her," he pointed out.

"Yea because of _you_ ," Mamoru repeated slowly, " _It_ was your idea to call her Odango Atama. Plus, she hates the name!"

"Still a nickname."

"A nickname does not mean anything," he nearly screamed in frustration. "Yes I love her but she'll never look or even think of me as more than a friend of Motoki's. The day that Usagi Tsukino likes me will never come to pass."

He had made his point clear and the eighteen-year-old sprawled on his mattress didn't as much as flinch, so he took his victory and swiveled around in his wheeled desk chair, finding the peace and quiet for his homework at long last.

Mamoru was barely finished with his fourth math problem when he heard that gasp. That ' _I-just-got-the-perfect-idea-Mamoru-and-it's-totally-brilliant-and-you're-part-of-it'_ gasp he dreaded with every fiber of his being.

"Mamoru!"

"I don't even wanna know what you thought of."

He yelped, jumping a good inch in his chair when two hands came down roughly on his shoulders, and a voice muttered into his ear. "What if you could confess to her but she wouldn't know?"

Spinning around suddenly, Mamoru met the gleam in Motoki's green eyes and nearly let go of his bladder. "Moto-"

"I have a plan."

* * *

"...you and your lab partner will be graded equally on this, so don't think one of you can slack off while the other does all the work."

A few groaned, some were glad for all the workload lifted off their shoulders, but he was trembling and hiding it under the table.

"Now, for this partner project," Mr. Fukyi informed to the room, "You will need to work on it outside of class with your partner. At least, if you want a decent grade that is."

' _No. No. No. NO.'_

"So I'll give you all some time to talk out your schedules and decide what will work best while I pass around the information packets," he held up a huge batch of papers.

Outside of class? It was bad enough dealing with his feelings for her during their shared class, but now he had to spend time with her, outside, open space, just the two of them.

He knew it without even looking that she had already turned, an idea of where to work on the tip of her tongue.

' _Suggest the library! The arcade? After school in a classroom! Somewhere safe and public and-'_

"-at my house!"

He froze.

"My mom makes these awesome lemon pies and well my brother Shingo will be an absolute pain unfortunately," she wrinkled her nose but then a bright smile appeared, "But we can always go to your place if you want!"

His eyes widened. "NO-I mean I don't think that'll work out," he corrected as he lowered his voice and shrunk down.

"Oh, okay," she hesitated, but nevertheless, she grinned again. "So my house?"

His heart pounded and he could feel the blood rushing in his ears. He could say 'no', he could suggest one of his ideas, but all that came out- "...s-sure."

* * *

Triple checking that the address was correct, Mamoru walked up to the front door of Usagi Tsukino's house. He was a few minutes early from the time they intended, so, like a creep, he stood pacing in front if her house.

He could do this, he could talk academically to her. He just had to imagine that they were in the classroom, under Mr. Fukyi's watchful eye, surrounded by their classmates, boring table encasing them together. This would be easier, especially since her parents would be, no doubt, in the living room or the kitchen, a few feet away from them.

It was strange, seeing her house for the first time ever, appearing like any other house, yes, but so different because it was hers. Which window was hers? Did she trip on these steps everytime she was late to school? Maybe she visited that little convenience store he passed, a few streets over and down.

He stopped the pacing, and took deep breaths to calm his hammering heart, wipe his sweaty hands on his jeans. It was just a project. They were working on a project, that's why he was here in the first place. He had to keep that in mind, and the night would go on without a complication in sight.

Just barely past five o'clock.

He nodded. It was safe to knock and announce his presence.

Rapid footsteps and a muffled ' _I'll get it!'_ came to the door being whipped open but instead of blonde odangos or even a parental gaze he was prepared for, Mamoru's eyes fell lower to a young boy with a recognizable mop of gold hair.

A satisfied smirk graced his small face. " _Ohhh_ , so you must be my sister's dat-"

"Move it, baka!" A narrow hip jutted out and sent the kid flying behind the door, and that hip gradually revealed itself as his brightly grinning lab partner.

"Hey, Chiba-san, you made it!," she exclaimed after latching onto his wrist and dragging him into the house. "Did you find the place okay? I left some of the lights on so you could find it easier. And I even had my annoying little brother keep lookout just in case you walked past the house or something!"

"Smooth," the boy from before muttered as he shuffled back to his video game that was set up on the flat screen in the next room.

He slipped off his shoes with shaky hands and took the chance to take in the surroundings of the warm, cheerful home. Family photos lined of the walls or the flat surfaces in the living room, while a bookcase filled with literary works and possible photo albums sat in the corner, and from where they were standing, he could see the sea of shoes placed next to the door.

Once he straightened, he adjusted the glasses perched on his nose and his backpack strap, only for both to be jostled again when his arm was yanked through the hallway and towards the set of stairs and he could hear more than feel the vein pop out from his forehead.

' _Whyarewegoingupthestairs. Whyarewegoingupthestairs. Whyarewegoingupthestai-'_

"We'll be working in my room, Mom!"

' _WHAT?!'_

"Alright, sweetie," a feminine voice answered from another part of the house.

He nearly tripped on every stair, he almost tripped on the pink rug once they had entered the bunny-decorated door, and he fell all together, when she began a small tour of her room, proudly presenting a crowded but charming corkbroad of photos, mementos, tickets, decent test grades, drawings, anything that could be tackable was pinned on the 'wall of fame'. He got the chance to really look at a few of the pictures, majority were with her gaggle of friends, some with her family, he even saw Motoki in some of them, but it was the intimate photos in one corner that made his gaze fall, and look to Usagi who was happily explaining how it took a whole week to properly make the board.

Next was seeing the brimming bookcase, every conceivable manga series mismatched with others. Her fluffy, moon and rabbit designed comforter was custom made by her grandmother, then the lace curtains were a gift from her aunt, and sometimes, in the summer, she would read mangas by her open window and eat mochi ice cream.

It was finally after her long spiel about her favorite stuffed animal, that he broke from his trance and got them to sit on the floor at her table, packets and papers and pencils sprawled every which way.

They were assigned their own packets to do separately and he breezed through it, looking up to see she was still on the first page, fisting hair and nibbling on her pencil. He coughed to stifle his laugh at her bewildered expression towards the questions and took the opportunity to take a second look around her room. His fingers crawled through the soft rug he was resting upon and he mused the darkening sunset out her window. He didn't quite know what to expect from Usagi Tsukino's room but this certainly would have fit.

And like a magnet, Mamoru's eyes found the corkboard, that one, small corner with the adorable smiles and photo booth hijinks and the dates those two had been on and…

She looked so happy.

"C-Chiba-san?"

He peered through his dark fringe to meet her eyes that looked so scared but so sweet, and she motioned to her half-blank piece of paper. "C-Could you by any chance, help me?"

He frantically nodded at first but caught himself and calmed. "Sure."

"Great!"

What he did not expect was her to wriggle closer to him, for her knee to bump into his, for her bare arm to brush against his, when she moved to push a stream of hair behind her ear, and he had to bite his lip at the silky strands that skimmed his elbow or at the skin of her neck and shoulder that the thin spaghetti straps of her top exposed right in front of his eyes.

He was trying so hard to concentrate, to answer her questions to the best of his ability but the fruity smell of her shampoo was toxic to him in the best and worst way. ' _You're creep, you are a creep. Just…..breathe through your mouth.'_

Her lips were moving and he realized he wasn't even listening.

"...is the point of stupid chemistry anyway?!"

A frustrated pout formed and he softly breathed in and out before finding his voice relatively solid. "Well it is science, and it demonstrates problem-solving skills as well as how to be objective and reasonable-"

"But how am I really going to use this in life," she asked, face in a propped up hand. The table vibrated and she scoffed at her phone, throwing it back down.

He cleared his voice, grunting and searching for the right words. "Um well, what are you planning to do after you graduate?"

Shoulders tensed and the pencil spinning paused. "I-I don't know yet."

"Well, I'm sure whatever you do," he cracked the smallest of smiles, more of a relaxed straight face than a smile, "You'll do great, Odango Atama."

Her nose scrunched up at the annoying nickname, but he flinched at her sudden, little giggle. "Thanks," she said. "Masao, my boyfriend, thinks I shouldn't even consider university. Says I should go for modeling or being an idol because I'm so beautiful and I wouldn't cut it in school but…."

She shook her head. "I don't know."

"Well, what's your dream?"

Her head tilted up to his curiously. "What do you mean?"

"Your dream," he explained, nerves coming back, "What you wish for your future, what you picture."

"Oh," she sighed, turning back around to his delight, "I don't know what I picture."

He almost didn't hear it and tried to think, but it was as if she had shifted closer during the conversation and was that her foot tapping against his?- "Well, body chemistry is something you can use to your advantage for any career I think." ' _Think only academics. Academics.'_

"Body chemistry-," her body snapped up and she whipped around to give him a huge smile. "You mean like chemistry- _chemistry?_ The romantic chemistry?!"

"No, not like romantic chemistry, Odango," he replied but tried to correct it when her face fell, "It-it's more like brain chemistry, how certain chemicals are released in your mind to make you feel different emotions."

Her eyebrows furrowed, and that's when he noticed how truly close she was to him. In her mind, the proximity between them was probably normal, and just friends sitting next to each, discussing schoolwork like nothing. But to him, he could vividly see her swimming pools of azure eyes, and he could count each eyelash around it, the small studs in her ears and-

And her now wrinkled nose, making it obvious she was trying to comprehend his words but it was still difficult.

He swallowed the lump and pushed his glasses up his nose, reaching for a spare notebook thrown across the table and opening it to a fresh page. "Here."

Copying from his own memory, and testing his lacking artistic skills, he made a rough sketch of the human brain. "So, here's the brain, just think of the different chemicals in your mind are like filled up balloons. And the right action, or thing, has to happen for a specific balloon to pop and release that chemical it holds into your brain."

Of course his explaining probably wasn't all that sound but her eyes seemed to clear and adjust to the information. "Oh, and so the chemical that it releases changes your mood or emotions?"

"Yes," he confirmed, keeping down his smile and resisting the urge to fist pump.

"So, what kind of chemicals are there," she asked, enthusiasm shining in her eyes. "What chemicals do what when they're released?"

Almost, _almost,_ did he get caught up in her gaze and he made this weird noise in the back of his throat from the surprise but he swiveled to his sketch, focusing on writing down the chemicals as quickly as possible, just to at least avoid looking at her. "Ah, well there's chemicals like norepinephrine, serotonin, dopamine-"

And he lost her again. "Woah, woah, too many 'ine's, Mamoru!"

She realized her slip and grew an adorable shade of red. "Sorry, I mean Chiba-"

"You can call me Mamoru," he rushed out, hand flying behind his neck, "I-I mean it's fine."

"Okay," she gushed, "Then you can, and should, call me Usagi! Stop with the Odango Atama business." She giggled, and he hid his ridiculous shudder when her hand swatted his t-shirt clad shoulder but a finger or two just gazed the skin below his sleeve.

"O-okay," he nodded and returned to the notebook, because he had to _stay focused on schoolwork, only schoolwork and not her face._

She sighed, big and frustrated, her phone buzzing again with a message but she ignored it this time. "Can you just got through each chemical and explain what they affect when they're released?" she asked, craning her head to observe what he had written. "You really have to break it down for my big dumb brain."

He rolled his eyes at her ridiculous statement, snorting. "You are not dumb. I know you know this."

The deep frown continued to live on her face, cheeks puffed out, one hand threaded through her bangs the other twirling the pencil's sharpened tip on the paper.

He finished his sketches and seated the notebook between them on the table. "Here, we'll start with norepinephrine, it's basically like the 'fight or flight chemical', it deals with your body's stress response." Her hand moved across the paper. "Then dopamine is the chemical that deals with your pleasure and reward, the happy chemical, people call it. And then serotonin regulates your mood and social behavior, like your appetite, sleep, memory, and-"

He grew beet red and snapped his mouth closed.

"And?" she questioned, her pencil ready on the paper to finish his sentence.

Academic discussion was supposed to be safe! "A-and..," he wasn't thirteen, he could say it, "...and sexual desire."

He saw it, he saw her pause and her arm turn a redder shade. "Oh, okay."

The tension changed, it was heavier, silent, as Usagi scribed down answers on her packet. It was just a word- two words - harmless words, but you could cut the silence with a butterknife and they continued in this stillness.

Once in awhile, he would look over her shoulder to see what she was writing, and once a while he would point to an answer and mumble about changing something which she did, erasing and rewriting.

Her phone began buzzing up again, but each time she would flip it over, scoff, and dismiss it. Mamoru caught the caller i.d. one time - by accident! - and scolded the one part of him that rejoiced. It was obvious that her bright glow was dimming as time went on in buzzing silence, he shouldn't be _happy_ about her relationship woes.

This was supposed to be easy, carefree, and so simple to get through.

Usagi broke the silence, while still writing. "So, what do you do for fun Mamoru?"

Caught off guard, he flushed trying to think of something he did for fun, that didn't sound completely boring. "Uh well, I-I read books, tutor people-"

"For fun," she mused with a laugh, turning around to face him, her knee retracting to brush against his. "Like, are you in any clubs or sports? Motoki didn't mention you did."

What _did_ he do? "Well, I am in the Science Club and-" _You're so screwed_ "-Chess Club."

He was expecting an awkward 'oh', or 'that's fun?' or anything other than-

"No way! You're in Chess Club?"

His brow deepened in confusion at her immense happiness. "Uh yes."

"I love Chess," she confessed with the widest of smiles, "Especially the part when you say 'Checkmate'! That's my favorite part!"

"It is fun to say," he laughed, breaking into a full smile, filled with joy and a bit of relief.

And her smile grew tenfold. "So, Mamoru Chiba does smile?"

He cocked his head a little to her question but nervously chuckled. "I really don't smile much…"

"No, you don't," she agreed, her face turning softer, "But you should. It looks nice on you."

It was a struggle not to flush at her words. "Thank you." His answer made him want to facepalm.

"And do you always have to wear these glasses," she asked, pointing to where they sat on his nose. "Like I know my dad is blind without his, but my friend Ami only uses hers to read."

Suddenly self-conscious of the spectacles, he adjusted them, clearing his throat and avoiding her beaming gaze. "I use them to read mostly but I just forget to take them off and what's the point of taking them off if I have to put them back on at some point."

"Well, it's just I've never seen you with them off," she added with a shrug.

He saw her start to turn back and his heart twisted and his fingers were shaky but he delicately slipped his black-framed glasses off his face, and blinked a few times to adjust, vision clearing to see her own eyes light up.

"Uh, here," he held them out for her take, and she carefully did so, turning them over and tracing the black lines but avoiding any smudges on the lenses themselves. After inspecting the basic glasses, with the basic prescription, she looked back up to him, and he fought down the blush at her powerful stare boring into his face.

"So what's the verdict?" he joked nervously, "Better with or without the glasses?"

Mamoru felt a dread build in his gut at the thought of her saying neither. Or not saying anything at all and just giving him the glasses back and returning to the silent time they were just in.

But looking up, the sweetest, warmest grin curled on her lips, and he held his breath as she moved closer to him, leaning forward, unfolding his glasses, and gracefully sliding them between the tops of his ears and onto the bridge of his nose, her fingertips just barely grazing his temples, while one index finger pushed them further up his nose. "Both," she breathed, eyes shining and face beaming.

And without even realizing it, his eyes had dropped down her face and landed just briefly on her parted lips, and he looked away quickly, back toward the papers and notebooks spilled on her table, heart beating so loud she _had_ to hear it, because she was so close to him and hopefully she was going to move back to sit on her feet, because she was much too close right now…..

But she didn't.

She moved. Just not backwards, like he had hoped.

He really didn't know when he closed his eyes or when she did, or if he had leaned forward with her - he didn't know anything, just when her soft, warm lips settled on his shocked, stiff ones.

Barely a second and he attempted to move his inexperienced mouth against hers, knowing that this was a dream he was having on his couch, no doubt would wake up pressing a throw pillow against his body. And so he boldly raised a hand and curled it against her hip, discovering smooth, hot skin that became exposed from where her tank top had escaped the waistband of her shorts. Her lips moved skilled against his, parted and slowly assaulting his bottom lip and there was a small squeak that vibrated through her mouth when his thumb tenderly traced a circle into her hip.

All the built up emotions flowed through him, and he was about to let them come out, to finally let himself be honest and respond to the kiss with his heart. To let her know everything that he had been keeping locked away for her because he knew it wasn't his place to talk about such heavy topics.

But he missed his chance, the deafening, slick slap of their lips separating, his hand immediately snapping away as if burned by her skin, and her stumbling backwards with a hand over her mouth and wide blue eyes.

It was real. He had kissed her. And he wished he hadn't by the look on her face.

"I-I didn-" His mouth opened and closed, opened and closed, opened and closed, so many times, words having abandoned him, and by the twisting of his stomach, his lunch was about to, too.

She shook her head, sitting upright again but far, far away from him now. "No, no, no I'm sorry!"

' _You're the biggest idiot in the world! You ruined everything!'_

"I-I..." He'd won how many writing competitions? How many spelling contests did he walk through? And _now_ all his vocabulary had left him?

"God, I'm so sorry," she almost screamed, closing her eyes and running a hand down the side of her flushed face. "I'm so sorry! It was my fault, I was the one who got so close, and who leaned, and who _kissed_ you and just-"

She groaned, covering her eyes. "I'm just so sorry!"

Why was she apologizing? Was it that bad? Sure it was his first kiss so it probably wasn't fireworks and sparks and electricity on her side, but it was on his side. Her lips were so supple and hot, and he was sure his own were slightly swollen since from what he could see, hers were a bit puffy.

"Usagi…"

"I'm so sorry, Mamoru!" His hand became encased in hers and he caught her big pleading eyes. "It was just a slip, a mistake. I mean, I'm sorry I got you messed up in this, me and Masao have been-"

He scolded himself when his eyes unintentionally danced over the blush that sprayed across her face, shoulders, arms, and chest.

She raked a hand through her bangs, eyes fluttering closed then open, grabbing his for attention. "Do you….do you just want to forget what happened?"

"I swear this isn't like a thing I do," she half-joked, "I'm not some girl who just kisses her lab partners and-and cheats on her boyfriend….."

He felt his heart drop at the breaks in her voice, then she was bowing her head low. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, Mamoru. I really am sorry for this. It's my fault."

It all clicked right then. She was apologizing for her actions, thinking that she had forced a kiss on him, making him feel uneasy. But she hadn't. What she was doing right now was what was making him uneasy.

This bright, cheerful blonde didn't know that he had come so close to spilling everything he had ever felt for her, was about to respond to the kiss full heartedly, to cup her cheek and mumble against her lips that he had feelings for her, so many different feelings for her.

Though if he had, what would have been the outcome? That she was going to pick up her phone, call Masao, break up with him, and be together with him in a heartbeat?

No. That's not how it worked. He knew that's not how it worked.

She sat on her heels again, eyes kind of glossy and fully sincere. "Can we go back to being lab partners and...friends?"

And then he felt dejected, but shouldn't. No matter the fights or problems she was going through with Masao, Usagi was happy, he could see that, no matter how much it hurt him inside. Why would he break up her relationship, her happiness for his own feelings? She….didn't need that.

"Of course," he relented, his throat suddenly too dry. It was his feelings, his problem. It was not her burden to bare to try and figure out his screwed up emotions. He had to deal with it, and him only.

He could barely recall the rest of time, because all at once he was packing up his materials and slipping on his shoes to leave. "Would you like to meet at the...library next time?"

She nodded, smiling nervously. "Sure."

When they heard footsteps and the sing-song voice of her mother calling to meet her study partner, Mamoru swiftly made it out with a quick goodbye.

It wasn't a rejection, by no means, but that fact didn't help him feel any better. It was quite obvious his previous deductions were correct; she didn't have any romantic feelings for him. It wasn't surprising….

It wasn't a rejection, he reminded himself, but it felt like it so, _so_ much and he willed for the pain to dull in his heart. It was obviously unrequited, he already knew that, however, hearing it from her lips….that was a whole new set of crushing emotions.

Lost in his churning thoughts while walking, Mamoru mindlessly licked his lips, and nearly groaned in frustration when his tastebuds were coated in a cherry sweetness.

He ran all the way back to his apartment building, shutting himself in his bathroom, scrubbing his mouth, tongue, teeth of Usagi's flavored lip balm with his toothbrush and a generous amount of toothpaste. It still stuck there to his tongue though.

Shoving down some leftovers from his fridge was next, gulping down that extra case of cola that Motoki had 'accidently' forgotten one time…..

It still tasted like cherry.

Even when he was laid in his bed, desperate to sleep, it was still smeared on his tongue and lips. Then he realized that maybe the taste had already gone, but it wasn't from his mind.

With heavy limbs, he grabbed his phone and typed up a text to the dirty blonde meddler of his life.

" _What was your plan again?"_

* * *

"Baka, baka, baka, baka, baka…"

"You got that right," Shingo said from the living room.

Usagi scoffed and jumped away from the closed front door. "Shut up!"

' _Baka, baka, baka, baka, baka,'_ this time mentally and while she sprinted up to her bedroom, shutting the door, and then banging her head against it. ' _Baka, baka, baka, baka, BAKA.'_

How could she be so stupid? So-so impulsive?!

Her legs gave out, making Usagi's back slide down the door.

She buried her face in her hands, attempting to hide the growing blush on her face from no one. The embarrassment traveled through her whole body like a rushing waterfall and her stomach was coiling.

She should have known that she got too close to him, how uncomfortable he appeared at her closeness. Right now, he was probably thinking how his lab partner was completely nuts, wanted nothing to do with her, for all she knew he could be putting in his request to be transferred to a new class- an entirely new school!

' _Okay don't be dramatic,'_ her mind claimed, Usagi's rapid heart rate dropping - hopefully.

But her mind played that image of how red his face was, how shocked but unreadable it was and she knew, she absolutely knew that he was creeped out by her and wanted to run far, far away from her and any possibility of friendship. Who just flats out kisses their lab partner?!

Apparently her!

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid," she repeated like a mantra. In situations like this, shouldn't you feel like crap, be consumed with overwhelming guilt, vomit, or beg for forgiveness. She felt _some_ of those but….

It had never felt like…. _that_ , before, she pondered, fingertips skimming her shaking lips. She recalled all the kisses and makeout sessions she had engaged in with Masao, and all had passion and drive and intensity and near aggression in some cases, but…

This one, _this one_ , had been different. _Good different_ , she had to admit.

It was gentle, soft although passionate as well for those few seconds of contact. Was she just imagining that tingly feeling, almost like electricity cackling in her limbs, that warm settling feeling that grew in her gut ever since it happened?

Usagi shook her head, dismissing all absurd emotions. She was just an idiot who always crossed lines and ignored people's personal space, because that's how she was with everyone, all close, cuddly, and friendly. And some people weren't really receptive to that.

Mamoru had been stiff next to her at first, but never said anything directly and his body did loosen over the course. She knew he was closed off, shy, not talking much besides academics, and attempt after attempt she did to talk, socialize with him, get to know him better but it was hopeless at times. And it didn't stop her.

One lunch period, she had observed him sitting at a table, alone, because Motoki had teacher assigned tutoring sessions.

It wasn't really that no one ever sat with him per se. Sometimes he sat with other kids from the science club, sometimes he forgot there were people at all when he had his nose in a book. And he only ever seemed to look uncomfortable when her eyes were on him.

After watching him for a week, she had gladly switched to his table, much to Minako's protests. And for a week she sat at his table, chatting endlessly while he sheepishly nodded or sighed or grunted. And after that week, he stopped showing up at the table all together, her finding out, later, that he found a classroom to sit in, instead.

Her heart had dropped several stories when she spied him through the door window that one day, sitting at a desk, fork poking into his bento. What were the chances that he _didn't_ change lunch places because of her?

And that annoying nickname Motoki had planted in his mind after a careless comparison joke to her hair buns and some store selling odangos on the street. Wasn't a nickname a good sign, that as shy as he was, he still had the energy, the drive to give her a nickname? Though it wasn't a particularly flattering nickname.

She just wanted to be friends with him, open him up to others! That's what she wanted. At first.

It was rare but, when those tight lips flinched into a smile or he finally looked her in the eye, through a clean, shiny lense, with a happy spark flickering in those deep, deep magical blue, her heart jumped and her throat catched and feelings - not meant for just a friend - slowly bubbled.

She hit the back of her head against the door.

She loved Masao, she loved Masao, she d-did!

Her hand reached up to massage her throbbing forehead.

She cared about Masao, so much, she loved him! She knew, she did. He doesn't _always_ show it, but he cared for her too…..

" _So, what's the verdict?"_

She loved Masao.

" _Better with or without the glasses?"_

It was just a little, bitty heart fling.

" _Both."_

He was her lab partner. Motoki's shy, sweet best friend who probably saw her as the annoying, blonde underclassmen girl, who he wished would leave him alone. The weird girl who forced a kiss on him.

_His lips were soft, and his fingers were trembling against her hip, thumb pushing down into the skin._

At the memory, she brought her head down again on the wood behind her.

She just wanted to know him a little better, but got too close, leaned too forward, and instead, found out how soft but cold his lips were.

* * *

' _This is insane.'_

It was. It was insane.

He stared down the occupied shoe cubby in front of him. It was easy, just slip the envelope inside and walk away. Well, Motoki had made it sound easy last night over the phone.

' _Just write about your feelings,'_ he had said, all confidently, ' _What do you feel about her…'_

For some reason, it had come easy to spill out everything he had been keeping inside of him, the words flowed out of him and hit the page over and over again like paint on a canvas. His heart was tucked into his envelope, and it had been so easy to do it, _too_ easy.

But being here, standing in front of the school getabako, in front of her cubby where her black shoes were housed, it was hard to function, let alone move his arm.

"I'll see you guys later!"

But somehow hearing the familiar sweet, high-pitched from around the corner prompted his arm to hurl the letter into the cubbyhole and his legs to carry him far, far, far away from the scene of the crime.

* * *

"Hey," a joyful voice addressed him. He need not turn to know it was his blonde beauty of a lab partner that had just sat next to him.

"Hi, U-Usagi," he stuttered, desperate to stay cool, composed.

She audibly huffed while setting down her brightly decorated school bag on the blacktop table they shared. "Wow, Mr. Fukyi is really putting us to work now, huh?"

Darting his stormy blues to their teacher, who was scribbling endless instructions on the chalkboard, he shrugged and muttered, "Yea, I guess."

"But we can do it." The teen finally tore his eyes away from the peeling pages of his notebook to see her in high spirits while whipping out her own science notebook and pencils from the open schoolbag. He nearly gave himself away when his eyes caught the white box wedged in with her other books.

Like a creep, his blue eyes peered over his textbook and watched as she delicately placed the small gift on the table and flicked it open to reveal the tiny chocolate bunny. It took him three bags of chocolate, an hour of detailing, four attempts, and three screaming/hair racking episodes to create that one little, woodland creature confection.

He questioned if the treat would be worth the pain and time, ignore Motoki's comments of 'stepping up his game' because even if the love letters were certainly getting to Usagi's heart, he needed more 'flare', apparently.

But it was worth it, all worth it, to see how delicately she treated it, how her eyes and face lit up with such joy at her gift. He watched out of the corner of his eye during notes how she carefully she broke off a piece and ate each chunk. He had never seen her eat so slow.

It was Mr. Fukyi's booming voice that got him to realize it was end of class and everyone was packing up. He had to do it.

"Hey!"

Mamoru nearly groaned out loud at the voice, then Usagi's excited squeal, and then the slip of a kiss. It was horrible but his mind connected to his muscles and taking the slim opportunity he had, he slid the letter into one of the sparkly notebooks laid near him.

"You ready to go, Usa?"

"Yea, just one minute, let me pack up my stuff." A brief second later and the notebook was gone and so were the 'happy couple' soon after.

" _Bye, Mamoru!"_ Did he say 'bye' back? Or was he so out of it that he couldn't move until Mr. Fukyi himself, had to jostle him out of it.

"No, no," Mamoru shook his head to the worried teacher, "I'm-"

His stuff was already packed up and he slung the bag over his shoulder. " _I'm fine_."

* * *

He wrote and gifted- _showered_ Usagi with everything his heart and hands could produce. She flushed a beautiful shade of red at every letter and grinned at the gifts of sweet treats that he slowly became skilled at. Their project continued, within school bounds and Usagi confidently finished her portion of work, little by little not needing his help.

He told her that she was smart, witty and fully capable of attending university if she wanted to. She had giggled, told him he was crazy, but a blush and a sparkle in her eye even after returning to work, gave him flutters in his stomach.

Much to his disdain, Masao had sat in on one of their work sessions in the library, bored to death and wondering when Usagi 'was done already'. Always, always did he remind himself that it was her life, her choice that she chose to be with Masao but it didn't stop Mamoru from wondering what she saw in him.

Mamoru thought he'd never seen such a more relieved facial expression once Usagi had declared the end of their study session. The football player nearly dragged his blonde lab partner by the arm out of the room, so excited to be free from the confines of the school library. They were complete opposites, bad opposites. Masao was cruel, self-centered, vain, but Usagi, she was caring, kind, friendly….would sit with a classmate, who was alone at lunch, talk to him, make him feel like he was important to her.

He had amused the idea of her never noticing how he had switched to eating in one of the homerooms since the constant torture of having her close had been too much for him.

Why….why was she like this? So amazing and dazzling to everyone who had eyes and ears, to anything with a heartbeat. His brain tortured him with the memories of when he first met her, middle school young, in the arcade and so, so, so, so nervous to speak to the beautiful, hungry, laughing, blonde sitting in a corner booth, someone Motoki claimed was the most friendly, kind person you could ever speak to. It had taken him three tries to say 'hi' to her, with Motoki gripping his forearm and grinning widely.

And back then, he didn't even admit it to himself, didn't acknowledge how much he was attracted to her, denied the longing, the desire to just be near her and talk to her.

It took years, countless arcade visits, Motoki's meddling ways of always finding group activities, and a damned science class to do it over for him.

It was the biggest relief to him to finish their Chemistry project, a thick packet of paper from each of them was turned in and he remembered when Mr. Fuyki was passing them back after grading them. Mamoru was barely phased by his big red '100%' at the top of his paper. Usagi, however, nearly decked him for not even batting an eye at the perfect score but what stopped her was her own packet sliding onto the table, her score big, red, and impeccable.

Mamoru couldn't remember his own thoughts when her warm, soft body smashed into his rigid one. The way her arms wound themselves around him, so tight and snug.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou…..," she chanted over and over again. "Thank you so much, Mamoru!"

He didn't know what to say, because he had nothing to do with the '95%' on her half of the project. She did it all herself, his direct assistance on it was limited. But she continued to say 'thank you' over and over again, and his hands slid up her back to return the hug.

His heart was beating against his chest, and his breathing was short and cut.

The thought entered dangerously, when his wandering eyes paused on her open school bag, the letters and small gift boxes visible.

She stayed in his arms a little longer before pulling back with a beaming face and the idea plunged sharply into his mind.

What if…

"Thank you so much, Mamoru!"

What if it was time to start signing his letters?

* * *

"No, Mamoru you're doing fine." The dirty blonde shut the locker with a clank. "She's loving everything, to the letters to the sweets, she's having such fun with it."

Motoki slung the gym bag around his head. "Man, you should see the smile she gets when she talks about it at the arcade. And you know what, you made that smile happen."

"What are you talking about?" he questioned into the phone. "You're the one who's sending the letters and treats, Mamoru. You, Mamoru Chiba, are creating the biggest smile on Usagi Tsukino's face!"

He scoffed. "Whatever pity party. I'll see ya tomorrow."

Ending the call, he pushed off the row of lockers and rounded the corner, stopping dead in his tracks at the frightening sight displayed in front of him.

"Furuhata!" The joyful call sounded more sinister than happy from the teen casually leaning against the lockers. "Who were you just talking to now?" The smile wasn't any different.

' _How much did he hear?'_ "No one," Motoki mumbled, resuming his walking past his teammate.

"Oh, alright," Masao replied to his back. "Say 'hi' to Mamoru for me, will you?"

The last sentence had a dark undertone in it and Motoki felt his blood boil, but his heart skipped several beats in fear. It was clear, now, how much Masao had heard.

* * *

"See you next week Mamoru-san!"

Mamoru bid farewell to Riku and started his walk to the school's exit, shuffling through his backpack, searching for the permission slip that Kaito had given him for the upcoming chess tournament happening in Osaka next weekend.

Fumbling through his papers, his fingers lingered a little on the notebook filled with rough drafts of his letters. Feeling nostalgic, he slipped the book out and began flipping through the pages, amused at his heartfelt writings.

"Chiba!"

Like some ghost, Masao materialized out of nowhere in the hallway, presenting the smuggest smirk he'd ever seen.

Mamoru's eyebrows knitted together. "Uh, hi-"

"How about we talk?"

With a strong shove, Mamoru fell into a small hallway, notebooks and sheets fluttering to the floor after him.

* * *

"Isn't it so sweet?" she gushed brightly.

" _It's so simple…"_

"My boyfriend sending me love letters?!"

" _You write…."_

"Like how romantic is that?!"

" _And I'll talk."_

"Oh, god sorry for exploding," Usagi apologized, sheepishly grinning. "It's just no one has ever done this for me."

"No, no," Mamoru reassured, his face displaying no emotional turmoil that was encased inside of him, "You're fine. I'm happy for you."

"He seemed so clueless when I first brought it up but obviously it was just all part of the act to surprise me! I mean I was really sure he was doing it because you know, boyfriend would be the number one suspect but he was such a good actor, acting all dumb."

' _He's alway dumb.'_ "Mhm," he grunted.

"All the words he writes," Usagi sighed wistfully, "You can just tell how much love and passion goes into the writing."

His fingers gripped the table, trying to stop the trembling. His voice was ready to burst, reveal that it wasn't her _wonderful_ boyfriend spilling his love to her, and slaving away at cooking, wanting to create the perfect treats. He was so close, even going as far as opening his mouth but his lips snapped back together when he saw how shiny her crystal blue eyes were and the tender smile that rose on her lips.

No.

He couldn't break this for her. He couldn't break her perfect fantasy, watch those eyes run down along with the smile at the truth of him being the true admirer. ' _Don't be so selfish,'_ his mind echoed. ' _Don't be selfish. You're not what she wants.'_

He ignored all the horrible alarms in his head, any instinct that told him to say. The. Truth.

He had to go along with it, he had to. If not for the sake of saving himself from Masao's fist - which he didn't care all that much about - he could do it for the sake of not breaking Usagi's heart, her dream, her vision. Why stain her perfect image with the idea of _him?_

* * *

She clutched the red roses close to her chest, a blissful smile playing on her lips. "Masao! You shouldn't!"

"Only the best for you."

Mamoru nearly rolled his eyes at the line but sat still with his back towards them.

"But how did you know roses were my favorite?!"

' _Oh, this should be good..'_

There was a pause. "I-I just knew," he stuttered. Mamoru's eyes widened and he bit down on his hand in rage. ' _You idiot! I'M the one who knows her favorite flower and YOU'VE been going out with her for a year and didn't know?!'_

"You talk about them and plus, you just look like a rose girl." How truly awkward would it be if he were to sucker punch the dude out of nowhere?

"Masa-chan!" He could tell they hugged without even looking based on Usagi's voice alone, but he heard that pop of a kiss soon after and mentally groaned.

" _You need to do something more dramatic okay." Masao snapped his fingers. "Get her some jewelry or something."_

_Mamoru rolled his eyes. "Well, roses-"_

" _Yea sure," Masao interjected. "Just think of something that makes me look good Romeo.."_

Judging by the glint that Mamoru saw in Masao's almost black pupil once he turned around, it was obvious that his floral gift was an approved choice by both parties.

* * *

"I'm so going to tell her!"

His head shot up from his studies. "No Motoki-"

"This dude is threatening you and taking credit for what you're doing," the dirty blonde threw his hands up in the air, "I would be beating him to a pulp right now if you weren't so adamant about ' _no violence'_. How do you expect me to know this and not tell?"

He didn't really think that far into it honestly. "I figured you would listen to me and not tell?"

He scoffed. " _Top-test-scores-smart my ass_ ," Motoki muttered under his breath as he snatched up his school bag from the couch.

Mamoru shut his eyes, thinking why and how he became friends with such a self-righteous person who could never let things go. "Motoki it's better this way. I'm obviously not who she wants. Why break her dream?"

"Because they're your words! You're her dream!"

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

' _Why can't he just leave me in my misery like a good friend,'_ Mamoru raked his hand through the black locks of hair askew on his head. "Motoki…..you should see her face when I leave something for her, how bright her eyes and smile get. And then when I think of telling her - when that thought even enters my mind - I imagine her entire face falling."

His friend shook his head, fists clenched.

"And honestly," he continued, shaky, "I get sick after imagining it. That I'm the reason her face falls like that. What if I make her cry..."

"You have no idea how much I want to slap you."

"Motoki," he grumbled, spinning back around to his desk.

"You honestly think that you admitting your feelings will make her cry?"

His grip on the pencil tightened, the wood splintering a tad. "I know she won't be jumping for joy."

"Mamoru, you don't understand-"

"Just please," he pinched the top of his nose, " _Please_ , don't tell her."

He could tell that Motoki was about to open his mouth, a slur of reasons and arguments ready to fly, but instead, he heard a light sigh and a shuffle of steps.

Just before his front door shut though, a soft and reluncent "okay" made it to his ears.

* * *

"You better not back out on me, Chiba," he whispered menacingly, "The deal is you keep doing the love letters and the little gifts and I don't tell Usagi that her lab partner is much more interested in her legs than Chemistry."

"I'm not," Mamoru replied, gazing to the linoleum floor. "I'm not backing out."

"Then how come its stopped?"

He squeezed his hands into fists under the table. Should he tell him that everytime he wrote a letter now, the desire and love and passion, was gone along with his will. That his stomach twisted into ill knots and tangles.

Feelings were a complicated subject for him, but somehow, it came out so easy for him while writing, finding the right words and phrases was effortless when it came to her. But now, he was practically ghostwriting his love, pretending to be someone while writing, an accomplice to deceiving an innocent person who was falling for the wrong person. But the question that resonated in his thoughts…...was he even the right person?

"I just need more time to write the letters," he lied, full well knowing there was at least two finished letters burning a hole in his backpack. "I'm sorry."

"Whatever," Masao breathed, seemingly satisfied with the answer, "As long as you stay in line and Usagi falls into my arms by June 30th, your little crush can just stay between us two buds." A heavy, loud clap landed on his back then, followed with a yelp as the tall muscular teen strode out of the deserted library.

It had been nearly five weeks, and these weekly meetings Masao so insisted on, never got easier for him. Nothing ever got easier in those weeks.

* * *

"Well, um, I'm having this," Usagi rubbed the back of her neck nervously, gentle blue eyes roaming around their classroom, "this-this thing- my birthday party on the 30th! You can totally come if you want! It'll be super fun and stuff, I swear!"

It must have been quite a sight, he imagined, how his face was at that moment, probably frozen and a blush dusting on his cheeks and nose.

"...nd Motoki said he was coming so I don't know if he told you yet, or maybe he did and you just weren't going to come-which is totally fine too!"

She was inviting him…...to her birthday party.

"-een saving up money from that superhero gig I do at the kid's place so I mean the party is going to be like professional with a D.J. and catering and stuff-"

Her birthday party. An event where you would bring all the people you care about, individuals you name as friends and family, in one place to celebrate a milestone that you would wish to share with them. Maybe that was a more in-depth way of looking at such a simple request but that's who he was, always seeing the underlying tones, analyzing meanings, and calculating outcomes.

"So, you can totally come-if you want! Of course…"

His jaw started to catch up with his flipping heart and he was going to accept, ready to flash one of those rare smiles she lights up at but…..

" _As long as you stay in line and Usagi falls into my arms by June 30th, your little crush can just stay between us two buds."_

The 30th….Masao would be there. With her….

"No."

He might as well had stabbed her in the heart at the way her face broke into pieces. Eyes hurt but she quickly recovered, looking away and laughing in a way that made him flinch and realize how much of a jerk he had sounded like. "I'm sorry-"

"No, no," she stopped him, "I totally understand! I'm not going to force you to come or anything I just wanted to tell you just in-" She shook her head. "I just wanted to invite you, just in case!" And she smiled. She _smiled,_ but she didn't truly smile. It was more like one of those smiles you give to people to show you're okay, that ' _no I'm not hurt, I'm fine_.'

It was Usagi, she probably wanted all her dear school friends there, and he was ecstatic at the fact he was considered such to her. And it would be wonderful to attend the party, but would he truly belong there with everyone, especially Masao, who would just glare at him the whole night probably. She was being nice, inviting Motoki's poor old lonely friend and her helpful lab partner. It was a nice gesture, that was it.

"Thank you for the invitation," he added in, "I just have s-stuff going on on that day…"

"Like I said," she patted his arm suddenly, warm and small, "It's totally okay. Don't worry about it."

Class began, and they focused on their studies and Mr. Fuyki's teaching, but it didn't deter him from catching her out the corner of his eye, face seldom and dejected as she blankly stared ahead, bottom lip being nibbled. Maybe he was the first person to have said no to her party.

It stayed with him, even after school, working on his papers, that deep sinking feeling in the bottom of his stomach that gave him doubt on his choice, made the possibility of hope grow.

But no matter how he felt now, would ever compare to how he would feel at the party, alone, a waste of space, while Usagi enjoys the company of her friends, celebrates her birthday in laughter and smiles, something he would find comfort in but there was part of him who wished he could be part of the smiles and laughter, a very selfish part he kept buried.

The school year was almost over, his new future at Tokyo-U was coming up, and he could close this broken chapter, pack it away quietly in his mind, like other sections of his life he never liked cracking open.

* * *

It was the last one.

After this, he was off the hook, free from any deals or threats.

Ironically, it was the hardest one to write.

It was almost like those T.V. shows or films where the character tries time after time to figure out to write something, lone light lit with crumpled balls of papers strewn around their work area. The pencil slipped from his grip, causing Mamoru to fist the paper and rip it slowly from the spiral-bound notebook, throwing it to join its predecessors in the bin or the floor. All that occupied the empty apartment was the continuous pencil tapping against wood, or an occasional deep sigh.

This was the last chance he had to convey any last feelings, to unload the last of it.

But it was so hard, writing a goodbye letter of some sorts. Each of his notes had been deep, emotional poems that didn't always have to connect to positivity. Sometimes they were written from the depths of his sadness, sometimes he would run on about all the regret he had of never telling her how he felt in person, how jealousy fills him over the fact that he couldn't be more like her, a little more confident, a tad more open, just an inch more lively.

Sometimes, he hoped he would be able to give himself away in one letter.

He had seen the way her eyes flickered at those notes and he prayed - and feared - for a second if she recognized his handwriting or the tone, the words, realize they were familiar to her eyes, but usually the flicker was blown out quickly, along with his wish.

_Wish._

The tapping stopped, and pencil scratching began instead.

_I wish you knew._

_But no._

_It would be too embarrassing if you were to know that on the bleakest of nights, I wish you were there. I long for you to be there holding my hand, there to wipe away any tears, and whisper how you were there, really there and you weren't leaving me alone._

_I repeat your name over and over and over and over again because I heard a word loses its meaning after being repeated so many times._

_But your name never did._

_I want you to know that your smile is one of the only things that gets me through the day._

_I wish you knew how hard this was. I'm sorry I can't give you the same laughter and smiles you give others. That warmth you just beam to everyone around you, a bright light to people's dark tunnels. I can't do that, I'm sorry._

_But I wonder which is more tragic._

_That I keep looking for you wherever I go._

_Or that you're never there._

When it came to the end of the page, where he would normally sign with a name that was not his, Mamoru instead paused, and wrote a more fitting ending to the last letter.

_\- Someone who could never forget you_

* * *

"Ha," he spat, "You think I'm going to let you rot and mope in your puddle of sadness for the rest of your life?"

"I was kind of hoping you would," Mamoru replied, flipping to another channel. Maybe the nature program had something exciting on this time of night…..

"If you don't start getting ready soon we're going to be late."

"Great because I'm not going."

"Mamoru," Motoki whined.

" _Motoki_ ," the ebony head repeated in the same tone.

A sharp glare was thrown but thankfully the arcade worker disappeared from view into the hallway. "What do you expect to accomplish by sitting around in sweats and watching T.V.?"

"I don't know," Mamoru called back out, shrugging even if he wasn't in the room, "It seems like a typical way people mope in all those films and series so I figured…."

When his friend reemerged, his black eyebrows shot to the ceiling at what he carried in his hands and what was soon whipped at his face. "What-"

"Put the hoodie on and let's get going." He glared down at him. "The party started at 8 but we'll just call your arrival fashionable late and your outfit choice a fashion statement."

* * *

Yes, it was not the most ideal outfit to attend a party in but Motoki had practically dragged him out of the apartment kicking and screaming within minutes, so black sweats and a hoodie would have to do for him confessing his feelings.

In all his life, Mamoru had never felt so underdressed in his life, pulling up to an upscale downtown Tokyo hotel where party-goers or guests were clothed in finer threads that didn't consist of a pouch pocket on their stomach and low-riding sweats. Motoki up-showed him in a simple white-button down and black blazer. He could only imagine how the rest of the party would look beyond those banquet doors.

He recognized numerous of people in the lobby as classmates, clothed in dresses, skirts, suits, blouses, dress shirts, slacks, anything that can be considered formal wear but still be moveable for the dance floor. It seemed there were more people here than at the school dances which nor shocked or surprised him given Usagi's popularity.

Motoki finished checking them in and Mamoru shugglishly followed him through the double doors, almost blinded by the sudden darkness and strobe lights flitting around the fuschia illuminated ballroom. He nearly stumbled due to the mass of confetti filled balloons on the floor, not to mention his vision was spotting with all the flashing lights, and shiny, giant crescent moon balloons hung from the ceiling.

Everytime his head turned for a second, he would lose track of Motoki's back and would quickly weave the crowds to locate his speedy friend again, who at times would pause to shout a "hey!" over the pounding music to some classmate or teammate while Mamoru would hang back far away, tugging this hood further down his face.

They continued forward through the crowds - leaving him to wonder incredulously just how large this ballroom was - until they reached what appeared to be the eye of the party storm, the front.

And his breath caught, fighting back the urge to cough.

Seeing her, standing there in a black, floral mini dress, head thrown back to the ceiling mid-laugh, he was falling in love with her all over again.

She gestured wildly to her group of friends with the red cup in her hand, smile wide and bright. And he content, just seeing her from far away, creep as it sounded, but it gave him a warm comfort to know and see her enjoying happiness.

But then his vision was blocked by what seemed a familiar back and a finger being pointed tow-

His eyes widened under the hood.

"OH MY GOD," she wailed, cheeks tinged pink, "IS THAT MAMORU CHIBA?! AT MY PARTY?!"

It was panic mode to try and find a hiding spot or dive back into the bustling crowd-

He could barely just turn before he was engulfed by blonde strands and warmth.

He stiffened at her sudden, soft touch. Hesitant to the kind gesture, he let his hands carefully wrap around her waist, reciprocating the hug, hoping his shaking would go away from his limbs, prayed that his heart would stop pumping so much at having her so close to him.

"I can't believe you made it," she cried after she retracted, but she was still very close.

He nervously laughed, hoping to hide his flush with the limited lighting hitting them. "Yea I decided to cancel my plans and c-come to your party…"

Her blue eyes widened in disbelief, with a little anger laced in that almost made him laugh because Usagi Tsukino becoming angered was like seeing a kitten roll out. "Oh my god you did not have to cancel your plans to come to my silly little party!"

"Oh trust me," Motoki slithered his arm around his shoulders, grip tight and capturing, "His plans were very cancelable, and won't be missed."

He scoffed to the side. "I guess," he murmured, but winced as Motoki's hand squeezed his shoulder. He weakly smiled at the giggling blonde.

And then, there was that gasp again. That damn gasp that got him into all kind of different situations. "You know Usagi," Motoki asked, face lit but deeply sinister, "I have the perfect idea!"

It was exactly one minute and ten seconds later when Usagi was dragging Mamoru by his arm through the ballroom to do a 'party tour', thanks to his green-eyed matchmaking friend.

She tore at his sleeve and briskly flew through the crowds, bumping into people carelessly, him in tow, fumbling after her. But it was a few groups later when she lost her hand from the loose, dark fabric of his sweatshirt for just a second, but tiny fingers instantly found his own, and he let them intertwine together. His heart jumped to his throat.

They passed her friends - Minako and Rei arguing over what the D.J. should play next, Makoto and Ami indulging at the buffet table a bit while watching the other two tear at the poor guy at the soundboard - her each greeting them quickly as they continued forward.

He was oblivious though, didn't pay much attention to his flashing, loud surroundings. All he saw was her hand clasped in his.

* * *

"...and this is the best seat in the house!" Usagi's rose her arms dramatically to the breathtaking view the balcony offered them. The upbeat music was muffled as the doors softly shut and the everyday noises of the street filled the summer air instead.

"Wow." It was the best, the Tokyo skyline and towering buildings in all their beauty, and the gleaming lights blinded Mamoru in beautiful ways.

He started when his hood was suddenly tugged off and he almost fell back to the sound of her giggles. "Usag-"

"Come on, you gotta have your hood off to feel the wind on your face!"

An audible gasp and shudder rocked his body when her little fingers combed through his ebony locks for just a second and he felt crazy because it seemed her hand had quivered after its exploration.

She bounced on her tiptoes, bracing hands against the stone railing, eye shut to the sky.

He shifted next to her, plunging his hands in his pockets, head tipped back, eyes closing with hers. The crisp, cooler night air was refreshing to his senses, it surely helped with his burning hand that was still branded from where hers had been moments ago.

"Nice place, right?" Her question startled him from the short silence.

"Yea, it is," he agreed. ' _Think of conversation, conversation, conversation…'_ "You know this hotel was probably built in the 1980s due to the style and architecture it exhibits-"

And her laugh filled the air then, much to his surprise and horror.

"God, you are such a nerd sometimes," her eyes sparkled with amusement, and he somehow held her intense gaze even as her voice softened, "Never change, okay?"

The redness spread to his whole face. "O-okay…"

' _Say something, say something, say something, say something, SAY SOMETHING!"_

"You l-look uh-"

"Totally sweaty and gross right," she joked, rubbing her neck with a half smile. "It's warm in the ballroom."

If only she knew how much of sweat he was working under this hoodie by just standing next to her. "No you look-" _Beautiful, breathtaking, gorgeous, unbelievable_ \- "pretty." ' _ohhh smooth, Chiba…'_

Through the dim light, he saw that her skin at been dusted a captivating pink. "T-thank you," she gushed, looking away. "You're really sweet, Mamoru."

His heart flipped in his chest at her giggle, and his hands crushed the white stone, knuckles twisting. It was so hard to let go, to understand the fact that he won't be seeing her practically everyday anymore. Will he ever see her again?

"God, the night is so pretty." Observing her side profile, he gazed at the warm, dancing light in her eyes as she stared up at the sky. Now, he was melting in his clothes, fidgeting and worrying.

This….this was wrong. She deserved to know the truth, to be given all the facts, then decide what she wanted. Not have lies thrown at her. Maybe this, this was the time to do it. To just tell her the truth, consequences be damned, at least she would know. Even if she was disgusted or never wanted to see him again, he'd take it as long as she knew the truth about everything.

He opened his mouth a few times, and he was slow in twisting around to face her but finally his voice vibrated. "U-usagi, I-"

"Usa!"

It was a painful sight to experience, the bubbly blonde running away from his side to embrace the taller, the more handsome Masao, who easily caught her in his arms. It had been so easy to forget why he couldn't tell her his feelings, so effortless to pretend she cared and that he had a chance. "You're here!"

He softly let her slide down to her feet, faces mere inches apart. "Of course I'm here. I could never miss your birthday!"

Mamoru resisted the strong urge to roll his eyes but settled for spinning on his heel to face the city view again but a hand wrapped around his arm mid-spin and instead of the city lights, his vision was filled with the stone face of Masao.

"Masao! You know Mamoru," Usagi exclaimed, tugging on his sleeve, "He's a friend of mine!"

"Yea, nice to see you," Masao quipped fast, eyes breezing past back to Usagi, "Why are you out here? The party is inside!"

"We just came out to get a breather," Usagi sang, blowing at her curling bangs, "It's so hot in there and I probably look like a mess."

"Hey relax," he pushed a gold strand of hair behind her ear, smirk forming, "You look angelic right now."

Again, the resistance of eye rolling was intense for him.

"Let's just come back inside."

"Well-" Usagi had no say as Masao had already laced her hand through his and began pulling her to the doors. "Mamoru just meet me at the chocolate fountain later, alright?"

"Su-" the door shut on the couple before Mamoru could finish his sentence, leaving him alone and suddenly cold on the balcony.

* * *

Everyone was grinning, laughing, enjoying themselves in the peak of the party, and so many had already ventured over to wish a happy birthday to her and it was all kind and perfect - her absolute vision of what her birthday bash would look like….

Somehow it was getting difficult to keep her smile plastered to her face.

Everytime one of her friends would be talking to her over the bass of the music, her eyes would always stray over towards the direction of the balcony. Mamoru had to have heard her about the chocolate fountain, right?

But she was confused as to why she was thinking about him so much. He was sweet and funny, even if the humor was more adorable awkwardness than anything, but there was something about him. It was so stupid and cliche sounding, but Mamoru really was different from other people, he wasn't as receptive to conversation, he wasn't opening up to her like others normally do. Did he even like her?

She shook her head as the music pounded.

Like, _like_ as a friend of course because there was no way he liked _liked_ her in that way. It was stupid to think of that because he most definitely did not think of _her_ in that way. He could barely talk to her, he never looked at her, he kept her at least a five arm's length - she questioned if he even wanted to be friends with her!

Her lips began to almost burn then, the memory she tried to keep buried, popped up with vengeance. Why had she leaned in so close, why move over so close? But why did she keep thinking about that one moment would be the better question. It was just a silly, on-accident kiss, right?

And god, why did his hair have to be so soft?!

"You have to try this Usa." Masao's smile swam into her vision and so did a spoon full of strawberry ice cream. A half-smile broke out on her face and she compiled, the fruity taste enveloping her mouth, but she couldn't enjoy it. Not all the way.

She just had to focus on Masao. That was the problem, she wasn't thinking about the single most important person in the room, the person who loved her.

The person she loved.

Her parents had entrusted a hotel room in her hands, the key card of that hotel room was sitting in her purse, patiently waiting to be used. And Usagi had thought about it - numerous nights for long periods of time - and wondered if this was it. She'd been planning this a few months in advance, the night of her seventeenth birthday was what she had planned, but there had been doubts plaguing her thoughts as of late. But the letters, the little tokens….

It was obvious, whoever gave her these, they more than just liked her.

It was the things they wrote, the way it was written, and the effort and time it took…..

"You okay?"

"Yea," Usagi nodded, relieved to see his smile form at her confirmation, "I'm just so happy."

His fingers traced her hand that cupped his cheek, and he smiled, melting her heart and placing her mind at ease again. "Happy Birthday."

* * *

Hesitantly, Mamoru dipped the white fluff into the dark, thick liquid. He popped it into his mouth and felt the chocolate coat his tongue immediately, and his marshmallow melted in his mouth. It was sweet, _very_ sweet and soft and not necessarily unpleasant but certainly new to his taste buds.

He speared another marshmallow with his wooden stick, repeating the chocolate covering process. He saw the bowl next to the marshmallows held strawberries, and without another thought, he speared a strawberry and let the chocolate spill over the red fruit.

By now the entire ballroom was filled with moving bodies and the food tables were being attacked by teenagers with sweet tooths and he figured that he should save something for Usagi, lest her not being able to even taste the food at her own party. Plus, she adored strawberries and chocolate, so a combination of the two would surely be welcomed.

And so, he patiently waited, gnawing on his chocolate coated marshmallow while protecting the skewer with the lone chocolate-ified strawberry, meant for one special person.

It was when he finished his fourth marshmallow that someone tapped him on the shoulder, and Mamoru couldn't stop the smile ready to form. He had his doubts, maybe she caught up with friends or forgot-

His smile fell to the floor.

"Oh you shouldn't have, Chiba-san." The biggest, nastiest smirk curled on Masao's face as he plucked the speared strawberry from Mamoru's numb fingers and enveloped the sweet fruit into his mouth. "I love strawberries. And so does Usagi. Weird, right?"

"Yea," he muttered, taking a step away but stopped immediately by a large hand.

"Why the hell are you here, Chiba?" the football player hissed in his ear. "Shouldn't you be at home reading up on organisms or something?"

"I was invited," Mamoru deadpanned, wincing at his fingers tightening around his arm.

"Good for you," Masao lowered his voice further, "But why the hell did you come?"

He swallowed thickly, the honest answer ready on the tip of his tongue but caught in between his teeth. Masao of all people can't know what he was doing. Instead of talking, he pulled on his arm to be let go, but the death grip just continued.

"Did you come to give me up?"

He pulled at his arm again, harder this time.

"Are you going to expose my ass in front of the whole school? Usagi?"

He knew for sure there would be bruises on his upper arm tomorrow morning.

"What is it, Chiba? Why did you come, huh?"

"It's nothing," Mamoru muttered, tugging at his arm even harder, trying so hard to get past him.

"Are you going to confess or something?" Even though Masao chuckled a bit at the thought, Mamoru froze all together, his jaw locked and pausing his attempt at escape.

He could feel the sneer on Masao's face before he even turned.

"No way," he muttered, amusement dancing in his brown eyes. "You don't have the guts for that. If you did, then you would have signed your name at the end of that first letter."

He was right. As much as the jerk was a complete moron and bully, what he said was a completely accurate statement, a fact. A stupid mistake was never signing his name on the first letter, to rid himself of all his pent up emotions, give himself closure, give Usagi her own closure at knowing that her affections for whoever was sending her these gifts wasn't correct, that it wasn't her dream guy she had always imagined….

"She needs to know."

"Awe," he cooed, malice stitched in his darkened facial features, "You think your little crush was a secret to her?"

His eyes widened in fear and any words created in his mind, died on his lips. ' _What?'_

"Come on, Chiba. Usagi has always known that you've had a little thing for her, not like your subtle about it."

' _No, no, no, this is Masao. He's lying…'_ "You're wron-"

"Am I?"

' _No he's wrong, he's wrong, he's wrong. Th-the kiss, maybe it did mean something-'_

"Usagi's told me how sweet you are and how kind and how helpful but," his eyes glowed through the darkness, "She feels so sorry for you."

There was a new song now, it was louder, pounding and shaking the floor, and there was too many people around them now that it felt like he was being cornered or trapped, and he couldn't breathe. "No, no I-"

"She'll never like you, for you Mamoru."

Yes, it was _his_ words, _he_ wrote them, _his_ feelings that he shared with her, but it means nothing if he couldn't have told her, himself.

"You're Mamoru Chiba," he sneered, and Masao had the decency to slap him on his back a few times like they were old friends, "She's Usagi Tsukino. No offense, but your names - t-they don't even fit together."

The music drifted so far away in his head, becoming less of a background than anything to his screaming, fleeting thoughts that were seeking a way to contradict these statements but it was easier to let go and give way to accepting than fighting. So his shoulders slumped, and his fists loosened, going limp.

"Maybe," his voice was so loud yet so quiet, "You should leave Mamoru?"

And it wasn't half a second later when he was clawing through dancing classmates, kicking past pastel pink balloons out of his path, running to one of the exits, to get out of the roaring ballroom.

His arm got caught by someone and Mamoru just barely stumbled out some aimless excuse to Motoki and eventually continued on, slipping out of the ballroom to harsh lobby lighting and more peace.

Had she really known? All this time….

He flopped onto one of those velvet arm chairs and ran his hands through his black strands. The jerk had to be lying, but that didn't mean he was wrong about the other things. They could never go together, he was just a fantasy to her mind's eye and Masao was her reality in real time.

God. How could he ever think of confessing to her? She wouldn't even believe him!

Through the open spaces between his fingers, he witnessed several other groups of partygoers arriving, whispering to each other excitedly as they headed to the ballroom. The way they all smiled and exhibited their emotions so freely made his heart tug.

They looked like they could be apart of Usagi's group of friends, part of her world.

He looked down at himself.

He could never be apart of her world, even if she was the whole world to him.

* * *

"H-he just left?"

"Yea," Masao nodded, sliding another chocolate-filled strawberry into his mouth. "Muttered about having something better to do?"

The tears jumped at the ready too quickly. Had Mamoru seemed that uncomfortable and she hadn't noticed? Why did he leave without telling her?

"I can't believe he….," she trailed off, heart surprisingly shaken.

"Well, he looked like he didn't belong here Usa," her boyfriend admitted, a half shrug to the thought.

It hurt. She wasn't going to ignore that searing, stomach-knotted building in her gut. It hurt like hell that he had left without even saying goodbye.

All she had wanted for Mamoru was to have fun and talk to her friends, open up and talk to her, but was he sealed so tight that he would suddenly leave her birthday party before she could talk to him, convince him that, yes, he did belong here because he was someone she cared for, more deeply than she dared to confess.

On cue, her hand burned because of those silky ebony strands she innocently ruffled, and her lips throbbed with memory. Her body quivered with the sensations and Masao took notice of the movement.

His hand curled around her shoulder, and with the affectionate gesture, Usagi jumped to life.

' _Masao. Masao.'_ "I really loved your last letter," she blushed, taking the large hand on her shoulder into her own, threading her thin fingers through his long ones. "That poem was so heartbreaking…."

"Uh yea! I really worked hard on that one," he stumbled, "Like I used a thesaurus and dictionary!"

She laughed, falling into herself again. "You really surprised me…"

He smiled, looking away with a small blush forming on his cheeks, the lightest shade of pink. And her body reacted before her mind could, hands landing on the sides of his face and pulling him down so that his lips could crash down upon hers.

She ravished his soft lips, sliding her tongue along his, as she slipped her fingers through his styled brown tufts of hair, answering his moan with a sigh. It was most definitely a passionate, kiss, one meant between deep lovers.

Breaking them apart when it seemed oxygen was essential, Usagi let her teeth nip at his bottom lip, and she grinned at the growl he made in the back of his throat that she so loved. Her nails slithered to the back of his neck, toying with the rough, spiky hairs there.

"Well I think I'm going to turn in for the night," she sighed, licking her lips, contemplating her next risky move.

"Alright," he breathed, frowning at her turning in so early. "I'll walk you to the elevator."

When he went to move, she pulled to keep him still. "Actually," she pressed their foreheads together, lips just barely brushing and the blush was most likely developing even as she thought about it.

"What Usa?"

"Do y-you," she stuttered, biting her lip, "Do you want to come up to my room with me?"

The arms wrapped around his neck sensed the sudden tension in his body but it disappeared swiftly and his lips planted a small kiss on her mouth, and his voice was lush and warm. "Sure."

After turning down Minako's presisiant requests of returning to the dance floor because she hasn't 'danced nearly enough' - and Rei assuring she'll keep the party _and Minako_ in check - Usagi took Masao in hand and scrambled out through the crowds to the elevators in the lobby.

She punched in her floor on the shiny gold panel, swiveling around to jump the tall handsome teen again, pulling his face down for another kiss but this time, he was more hesitant.

"Usagi, are yo-"

"Yes," she whispered against his lips, "I want this. I love you." Those echoed words startled even her but she knew it was true, paying no attention to a tiny, irritable nagging in the back of her brain, focused on the sensation his parting lips were creating on her.

"I-I love you too," he rushed out, lips pressed to hers.

His strong arms wrapped around her middle, and she heard the melodious ding of the elevator, then the wooden doors closed in.

* * *

And then she was gone, the elevator doors sliding together. Gone from his eyesight, gone with his heart.

He slipped away from his seat, unnoticed, unbothered, and broken.

The hot wind hit his face and he vaguely noticed another group of classmates entering the hotel, giggling and grinning and brushing past him.

Had she noticed he left? Did she go to the chocolate fountain to check? Or had Masao gotten to her first? It didn't matter, he thought while walking home, he wasn't even supposed to have come to the party. He should have just wished her 'Happy Birthday' and left with some excuse, but instead he got pulled in, literally, and he felt worse than when he had come.

But halfway in his walk, he was hit with the sad realization that didn't even say 'Happy Birthday' to her, and he wanted to pull every strand of black hair out of his head.

* * *

It was all over the school. That Monday, after, it was everywhere.

At first, he didn't believe it, there had been scores of rumor mills that ran on false information so it was easy to dismiss such things coming from the mouths of people who once proclaimed that the 90-year-old science teacher was a mad serial killer that chopped people up with an axe.

He firmly held this belief and refused to believe anything, until it was time for his Chemistry final on that very same Monday.

Being so consumed about memorizing his notes, his lab partner's loud entrance nearly threw him off his seat, but her appearance made a shiver pass through his spine. Blonde hair was spilled everywhere, less bright and less cheery, her hands were filled with her face, but he could see the skin of her hands were pale and chalky, and it looked so wrong.

"H-hey, are you okay?"

The pad of his finger barely brushed against the fabric of her shoulder when she flinched away as if she was slapped. He just barely heard a "I'm fine" and shot his hand away from her.

He knew then that the whispers in the hallways held some substance.

He packed up his notebooks, all while wondering if he should say something to her, half a thought to confess right here right now just at the possibility of cheering her up but it would just make things worst. First your boyfriend spills the details of "fucking you until morning" - words apparently from the horse's mouth - to the school, and then the geeky kid you sit next to is confessing his love for you.

As time ticked on for the exam, he searched for the right words to say, ones that could ever possibly convey what he wanted. This could be his last chance to say something.

His pencil stopped and he went to look next to him, but she was gone, her exam shoved to the edge of the table. It had been barely 15 minutes into the time.

But it had been too long for her apparently.

* * *

And this was why he was currently making a b-line to a celebrating Masao after the graduation ceremony was conducted, and it was all smiles and dazzling eyes until Mamoru flew in, taking a hold of the already furious looking Masao, muttering a fast "excuse me" to his confused friends, and stomping off to an empty hallway with a jerk along for the ride.

"Chiba, what the he-"

"What is wrong with you?" Mamoru ground out, gripping his diploma hard, to resist the urge to thwack him repeatedly on his perfect head.

"What are you talking about?"

His grip got tighter on his certificate container. "You know what I'm talking about. The _whole school_ knows what I'm talking about!"

Rage fueled more in him as the thin wires in Masao's mind visibly connected and his eyes grew with recognition but Mamoru grew revolted at the sight of annoyance. "Come on Chiba! You dragged me out for this?"

His knuckles turned white, and never had violence seemed so pleasant in his mind right up until now. "You humiliated her! She trusts you like that, and you tell the whole freaking school?! What is wrong with you?!"

He opened his mouth to response, but Mamoru kept going, rambling on over him.

"Do you have any idea how much of an ass you are?! Usagi, the most kindest, funniest, amazing, beautiful person who always sees the good in people, who always tries to make them feel as wonderful as they can be. You hurt her-"

"Chiba-"

"You made her cry."

"You have no righ-"

" _You_ had no right to do that to her."

And that's where he paused, where he realized his breathing was ragged and heavy, and his voice hoarse. "You had no right to tell the whole school. To embarrass her."

The accused teen stood stoic towards him, then the guilt finally bled through his dark eyes and his face went more slack. "I….I didn't mean for this. I just told a few people, on the team, they really wanted to know, and so I gave them a few details just to call them off-"

"And you think they wouldn't have told?!"

"Okay, I screwed up, I get it! It was blown out of proportion!"

Mamoru shook his head, the strain on his fists becoming harder and harder to hold it together with every word that came out of Masao's mouth. How can someone be so idiotic, so careless, have no empathy- "Did you ever care about Usagi?"

Finally, his amber eyes moved and widened, hurt slapped across his perfect face. "How can you ask that?! Of course I care about her!"

Mamoru scoffed. "You have a funny way of showing it, don't you think?"

From hurt, his face all at once contorted to one of rage, intimidation when he was right in front of his eyes. " _Don't_ act like you're some saint, Chiba," tone rigid and threatening, Mamoru could see the fury rolling off of him in steamed waves, "You were involved too, helping me, lying to her, all so I wouldn't tell her you liked her. If I'm such a villain, what does that make you in this story?"

"No." He stood his ground, looking at him dead in the eye unafraid, "We both were deceiving her, but at least I knew it was wrong."

"Exactly," Masao agreed, an intimidating glare in his eye forming, "And what did you do?"

His face fell, along with very drop of his confidence.

"You're not the hero in this, Chiba," he hissed, "She may be _your_ princess, but you'll never be _her_ prince."

His most viable option was to take his clenched fist straight to Masao's jutted, clean chin, a fair, honorable punch to the face of a bastard. He would fall back from the force of the hit and Mamoru would feel the victory surge through his veins, overcoming his bully and standing up for himself, first time in his life.

But his arm remained situated at his side, still clamped shut but unmoveable.

There was much truth in what he said. All the doubts that had ever entered his thoughts, lingered there in the back of his mind like an unwanted guest, roaming a house. The sparks once left sizzling in his midnight eyes, evaporated, and he took a step back from it all.

His heart pulsed rapidly in his chest and the canister practically fell from his hands but he caught it. "Well, you'll always be an asshole, Masao," Mamoru trailed off lamely.

And he left, turned around and nearly stumbled while walking away.

"I might be an asshole, but at least I'm not a coward." The words stabbed him in the back, sharp, aching, rigid, and _right._

He is a coward, in so many ways. He was scared of being turned away, or hurting her, or forever losing her, which was already happening with the year over.

There was still the chance of running into her with the help of Motoki but, there was no more seeing her eyelids flutter trying to stay awake during a lecture, no infectious giggles in the air, the smell of vanilla and flowers would vanish, and the warmth that would sweep his being will be missed.

Outside, where families were celebrating with their graduates, Mamoru looked away and observed the steep buildings of Tokyo that bordered the clear blue sky.

It wasn't as if Tokyo was a small town, it was one of the most populated cities in the world. He could surely avoid one single person. A bright future at Tokyo-U awaited him, and he could make new memories, forget all that occured in his past, start fresh.

He breathed in.

Though forgetting Usagi Tsukino was like forgetting how to breathe.

Impossible.

* * *

_Present_

His fingers curled around his now silent phone. Her eyes, he could feel them burning little holes into his back.

' _Just...turn around.'_

And Mamoru compiled with his thoughts, snatching his hat off his head in a slow turn, and greeted her iron gaze through his messy, ebony bangs.

He waited, a few seconds at most, when there was that click behind her large and impossibly deep blue eyes. A click, then a spark, and finally a fire burned with a look of recognition that had his heart beating.

"Mamoru Chiba."

His name rolled off her tongue so easily, and finally, he could breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully the next chapter will be in soon!!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Yesssss I am alive and I have not given up on this story XD I know it's been a year and like three months since I updated this story on FF.net but here is the new chapter for both the FF.net and AO3 versions finally! I'm super excited to get this out to you guys since I know a lot of you have been patiently waiting for it! Thank you to everyone who has wrote reviews, faved, followed, and even sent asks on Tumblr (which I love!)
> 
> I want to give the hugest virtual hug to FloraOne for giving me her advice, suggestions, and comments with this chapter and getting everything on track. I have no proper words to express how amazing and SWEET she is! Literally girl is a GIFT to an already wonderful fandom! Thank you SOOOO much for helping me Flora! I have NO idea how to thank you!
> 
> And obviously THANK YOU to everyone out there who has loved this story and have already said such kind things about it in tumblr asks and in the reviews!
> 
> Alright on to the story and the talk everyone's been waiting for!
> 
> ALSO P.S.: It's the second anniversary of when I posted the first chapter of Checkmate on FF.net! Feb. 27th 2018 *sighs* those were the days.
> 
> Anyways, happy anniversary readers and friends!

**Chapter Eleven**

" _Mamoru Chiba."_

His name hung in the air.

It was the strangest release of emotions, the long-held relief that practically shook in his bones and he didn't realize how much he needed to breathe until it started to hurt.

"You…" she trailed off, the whole spectrum of emotions running through her eyes.

Then everything started to hurt because once the relief had spilled out and came, it disappeared with his ability to speak.

This was bad. Really, really, _really_ bad.

She stared at him with a wide, startled gaze, and he couldn't pull himself away.

He'd spent all this time avoiding her, keeping her at a distance so that he could forget this stupid, _stupid_ mistake. He should have never…..

He should have never stayed.

He should have just kicked her out way before, or left clean-up to someone else, or should have called in sick for the day - no, he should have never moved that chess piece, never left that first note.

He would have done anything to avoid this moment of standing in front of her, watching the tears that he caused fall.

The weirdest fluttering sensation floated in his chest as she looked at him in the way he had always wanted her to: full of recognition and so comfortable, so _open_ , in a way that makes your heart react before the rest of your body. It was all wrong though, the way his gut pulled and tightened while looking at her, how he wanted to run away, far far away just because of her eyes and so he looked to the floor instead.

The weird silence stretched longer with them just standing there, not moving, and it was pure torture because he couldn't think of a logical move, he didn't know what to do with his heart clouding his head.

Apologize. Say all of this was a huge mistake - " _it was my mistake_ " - confess he was an absolute idiot and they should part ways and pretend nothing ever happened. Would that be the right response? He started to panic because _he had no idea what to do_.

He wanted to take everything back - every single word they ever wrote to each other - he wanted them to be erased or sucked into an endless, black void.

Denial was too late to assume, escaping didn't even seem in the realm of possibilities, so it would be either continue the silence, or break it with words.

But what would he say. " _I'm sorry." "This was my fault." "I never meant…" "You deserve more." "I'm so sorry…"_

Nothing was enough.

Coming out of his thoughts, he froze. Her feet had definitely moved closer, and to his horror, they continued to move closer and closer and closer - until they were less than a foot away from his own. Shiny, beige heels and black, smudged shoes pointed towards each other.

His heart was beating in his throat as he drowned in the vanilla scent encasing him. She was so close and what was he supposed _to do_. Going against every good sense he once had, he raised his head and met her confused, amazed, expressive eyes.

She stared, blinking out of her glazed look. "You're…"

A small, relieved smile grew on her face and she shook her head, while her hands flew up to her cheeks to brush away the teardrops that had escaped. He could count the lashes on her eyes, spot the individual strands of hair that came loose from her buns and the wet trails under her eyes, smell the coffee on her breath because she was so unimaginably close that he couldn't _not_ look past her lips, which were just slightly parted to reveal a flash of white teeth.

Then he watched as those teeth went down to gently bite the pink flesh below it before releasing. "How..." she trailed off, mouth popped open and puzzled.

Yes - how did he let this happen, how did he become so blind that he let it come this far, how was he going to go on after tonight.

Yes, _how_ was a great question.

"All this time," she whispered, gaze searching first his face, then his eyes as if everything would be answered for her if she looked deep enough. And so she came closer, leaning forward and the addictive, soft poison of vanilla crashed into him even more.

He willed every muscle in his legs to take a step back, think with a clear head, not an excited, frantically beating heart. And her eyes moved down and he saw how they caught on his lips, then he watched hers, how glossy, pink flesh parted in response. There was nothing he wanted more than to let her close the space separating them, give in and melt into a dream of reality, to pretend that _this_ could happen.

No. No, no, no-

This wasn't right, he stood in front of her with lies on top of lies and anything that would happen without the clear truth wasn't…..it wasn't real.

That step back from her felt like a mile away, but he could still see her bright eyes when they fell, dejected and lowered, and he hadn't realized that in his hands was still the stupid hat, twisted and creased from his tight hold.

They stood there for a while before she shook out of it first and turned away, started walking and he thought that this was it.

She was leaving, disappointed, disheartened with the truth of him, seeing the curtain fall, the facade slipping off, to finally reveal _him_ in the ugly, bright light.

His insides crawled and ripped but he closed his eyes, fighting to accept it and not baring to watch her walk out of his life. He waited for the soft creak of the door shutting to fill the empty air.

He was ready, prepared, braced himself and his heart for anything.

He never expected the loud, rusty scrape of a chair that startled his eyes open to see her, standing at the table, holding the chair, waiting with those wide, shining, so optimistic eyes.

The firm hold on the hat reverted back, his hands twisting the fabric tighter and tighter as he stared at the chair, panicked and scared and unsure of what was going to happen if he did take it.

He wasn't prepared for this, to sit down and talk with her, no barrier to hide behind, just their voices. He never expected to get this far, to have her ready to hear, to even want to hear him out.

But he also never expected to obey the command.

* * *

Their eyes didn't meet once they were seated at the table - well, she stared at him and he refused to return her gaze.

She wanted him to look back, like he had before just a minute ago when a table wasn't in between them. When every emotion flew through her, and she didn't know what to feel or do, and at the end she was so ready to just kiss him, to finally feel the mouth where all of those words she read for months came from.

Although, she did feel it once. Years ago.

With no eyes to look back at, she took it as a chance to take him in; he was taller, didn't wear glasses anymore, his hair was styled differently - shorter now, and...

His eyes never changed of course, still always full of emotion that he so desperately tried to hide from everyone. Still intense, still blue, still him.

_How_ did she not recognize him? How could she have not remembered right away? Why did it take so long for it to all come back?

She licked her lips, a million questions buzzing through her mind. She'd been so relieved to finally see him, to finally know who he was. Her nerves hadn't been able to set until now; this was it.

This was her chance to ask him anything she wanted. And yet, her mind was both blank and too full all at the same time.

Start small maybe.

"You don't wear glasses anymore," she stated, lamely. ' _Nice, way to start off conversation Usagi.'_

He nodded politely, confirming.

Okay so wrong shot.

She searched for the right words. To get this started on the right track.

"So why did you….I mean how…" she fumbled for it; the words, the tone, the one thing that could get him to meet her eyes in that intense, wide look.

What did she want? What did she want to know more than anything? Everything seemed important to ask, she needed to know all of it.

And that's what she did.

"Tell me anything-everything?" she asked. The cold, hard metal of the chair dug into her hands as she gripped the edges of the bottom, leaning forward in anticipation.

It felt like forever, waiting and waiting for him to pick up the conversation. She stared at him like a weirdo, studying his features when a car driving by behind the picture windows illuminated him in a strange light. She stared, waiting.

His eyes were there finally though, staring at her, hesitant and reluctant but he licked his lips, and it was a while before he finally spoke. "Okay."

* * *

_Prepare bags, check. Sign into the register, check. Clean the counter, not check._

_It was gorgeous weather for the beginning of the week._

_The sun rays streamed in through the large windows, the street noise from beyond the walls seemed to bring an unusually comforting silence, the floating smell of coffee grounds in the early morning, and never had Mamoru Chiba ever taken the time to notice such things but as of recently, life was giving him the opportunities to, such as his new job._

_It had only been a few weeks into the job, but already, he had never felt so satisfied._

_Even if he had his orphan's pension and inheritance to fall back on in case of a sudden emergency, he didn't want to empty it before an emergency ever happened. Besides, he craved the experience a part-time job could offer him. It felt right to create his own living through hard work - well as much hard work as one can do at a coffee shop. And it wasn't all about the money, he needed to go out more admittedly and leave his apartment for something other than class._

_As Motoki had put it, "You need to learn how to people." And those 'people' skills were forming, slowly._

_In fact, the manager - the one who interviewed him - had disliked the formality of his first name so he shortened it - Rue was born then. And Mamoru surprisingly felt more for the new nickname than he ever had for his full name._

_It was the perfect beginning to something more. He had grown several inches, filled out muscles his teenage body had entirely lacked, joined Tokyo-U's soccer team, jogged in the mornings, dare say, became more sociable. He was different, and a different he could live with._

_In the middle of cleaning the counters, Mamoru heard the little bell ding, along with rapid footsteps and a soft, panicked voice. His smile widened with each step he took to the register, ready to attend to his customer._

_They both reached the front counter at the same time and Mamoru quickly rehearsed his customer greeting in his head before spilling it out to the frenzied girl who quickly deposited a stack of textbooks on the counter. Her wallet was among the mess and he observed the familiar Tokyo-U keychain dangling off her keys as she rummaged in her backpack. 'Obviously a freshmen….'_

" _Welcome! What can I get for you today?"_

_She had long - really long - gold hair that made his stomach twist, and it was fastened sloppily into a hairstyle he froze at, but it was so undone in its state, that he brushed it off. And the way she was fretting, and the disorganized mess she had in her hands created such nostalgia in his gut, but he brushed it all off, because it was crazy and there's no way and 'you're just being-'_

_She finally faced him and he knew he wasn't crazy. She was older, but it was definitely her. And she didn't recognize him._

" _I would love if you could make me a quick espresso macchiato, extra strong, like eye-widening kind of stuff. And some whipped cream on top! Love your guys' whipped cream!"_

_She stood there, in all her golden glory, still dazzling, still being late to class, still having blue eyes that could do such things to his mind and speech-_

" _N-name," his voice raspy and broken, but it came out much to his surprise._

" _Tsukino Usagi," she sang, returning to dig into her bag._

_It took him a full minute to be able to move his fingers and punch in the order, but he made the drink quickly, because once she skipped out of the coffee shop with the longer blonde streams following her, he could finally let out the air in his lungs, and think about how in the hell this was possible._

* * *

"That's when I first saw you again," he explained further, throwing his hands in the air, partially frustrated and exhausted. "I couldn't believe it, even after you left, I thought it wasn't real. Out of all places - out of all coffeeshops, you came to the one I was working at. You were...unforgettable."

Usagi's mind ransacked her college freshmen year memories, seeking out those seemingly unimportant coffee runs she always did in the morning. They were quick, frenzied flashes in her day, a simple task she forgot about once she tossed her to-go cup. She never thought about the interactions, never realized until now that if she had just tilted her head up and looked - really looked - that maybe….maybe nothing still would have happened?

She had no guarantee that her brain would have clicked.

"W-wait, you were a barista," she stumbled out, eyes narrowed in confusion, "But now you-"

"I'm not," Mamoru confirmed, eyes down.

"How?"

His eyebrows knitted together. "Uh…"

* * *

_So she went to Tokyo-U?_

_He couldn't run into her there. She was a freshman, he was a sophomore, no way their schedules could ever match up. His classes were further into the day and more scattered, freshmen's tended to be more uniform and morning. He didn't even see Motoki on campus that much! He was safe at school but the coffee shop - the coffee shop…._

_He clutched to the false hope of her switching to another shop near campus to get her daily caffeine fix. There were plenty in the area so it was possible and logical._

_But it was the same routine each morning. She would fly in like a bat out of hell, order some highly caffeinated drink, smile at him - give him a stroke - and then float back out like nothing happened, because nothing ever did happen._

_Each day, he wished for just that one moment, for her to look up, have a look of recognition, a snap of her fingers and a 'I-know-you-from-somewhere' comment._

_That's all he wanted, for her to remember him just for a passing second, one single moment._

_And it never happened._

_He spent a few nights wondering if he was so different. His hair was shorter, he switched to contacts, his jawline was a little sharper he guessed, he was taller, more built, more confident, less of what he had been considered in high school - a nerd recluse._

_Was it the damn hat? He knocked it off and bore into his reflection in the bathroom mirror, wondering what she saw._

_He didn't blame her. After all, why couldn't he be the one to bring it up instead? Why was he waiting on her to say something?_

_It was a simple and frustrating answer: he was scared shitless to say something to her. He knew how pathetic it sounded, but everytime the thought crossed his mind, his stomach coiled and twisted, and the action of speaking seemed like the most challenging thing in the world. And what if he did say something and still, she would blankly stare with no recollection. Why say something, why start something, when he deep down knew the result?_

_That's why he was silently hoping for her to say something, for her to remember first._

_It wasn't after one Friday afternoon when he observed her down the line, two neatly wrapped, gold buns bouncing up and down, and his greeting got caught in his throat when a tall, dark handsome man materialized next to her, joined by their hands, her head laid on his arm lovingly._

_He resolved that maybe it was better that she wouldn't ever recognize him. What would have come of it if she had? It would be like high school all over again, and that ending still haunted him. It really had been a blessing in disguise, and it saved himself from humiliation._

_She had her own life, she had grown, and here he was reminiscing of high school days like some love-sick fool._

_Continuing to see her everyday, talking to her, but acting like a stranger, when she was his first love-only love, wasn't productive, quite the opposite. He couldn't quit, he needed the job and he had already struck up friendships with the workers there. Plus, quitting a job all because of one customer sounded far too ridiculous._

_He had to move on, or at least attempt to._

* * *

" _Please, please," he begged, "Just take me off the register at least?"_

_Wasureta signed the delivery form with a flourish. "You want me to take you off your assigned position?" He handed the clipboard back to the driver and heaved the sack of coffee beans over his shoulder with a grunt while Mamoru lifted one up and over swiftly._

" _Yes, as soon as possible would be preferred."_

_The two workers brought the brown sacks down onto the floor of the kitchen, the taller, ebony-haired one looked to his manager with a quirk of an eyebrow. "Well?"_

" _I-I don't understand Rue," Wasureta confessed, slightly out of breath, "You were so excited when I hired you. Why the change?"_

' _Because there's a blonde, blue-eyed freshmen girl who I was in love with in high school and still kind of am, and she comes into this coffee shop regularly and ….'_

" _I feel like the barista thing isn't working out," Mamoru answered instead, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets and looking away, "I just want a different position, I'll take anything else."_

_The manager sighed, clearly upset at the prospect of losing one of his best baristas. "Fine. I'll make the adjustments next week, but…"_

" _What?"_

_Wasureta rubbed the back of his neck. "There's only one other position open..."_

* * *

_It really could have been worse. He was already a thoroughly neat, clean person so getting paid to wipe down things with cleaning products was like getting a paycheck for being himself. It was grounded, easy, honest work being in the cleaning crew and that's what he needed the most._

_Eventually the smell of bleach, disinfecting spray, and the sights of bodily waste and coffee spills were his new work environment, and he settled into it all too happily._

_It kept him away from the counter, busying himself with cleaning bathrooms and floors upstairs, desperate to avoid her and her smile anytime she came through the door. It sounded extreme, but this was his way of moving on the best he could._

_He did all he could to forget but, sometimes it's hard to forget someone who gave him so much to remember._

* * *

Her throat had dried up, and she blinked. "You switched jobs- you _would rather clean toilets_ ," Usagi breathed out, "...just to avoid me?" Was she _that_ bad?

"No, no, no I-I just wanted to stop thinking about you and seeing you all the time made it worse and I just wanted to…." he quieted, frowning and closing his eyes. "Yes, I cleaned toilets to avoid you."

She gaped at him a little.

"To be completely fair, it really, _really_ wasn't as bad as it sounded," he added on. "Everything was super sanitary and easy to do…."

The snort shot out of her nose before he trailed off with his sentence.

She nodded, but her face contorted in confusion then. "Why didn't you just say something to me?"

He shrugged, hands lazily thrown. "' _Hey I know you don't remember me, and probably won't remember me, but I was your weird lab partner in high school who was also in love with you.'"_

She froze the same time he did.

His words rushed to her head like some kind of addicting, spinning high. It surged and pulsed in her pounding heart, affected her in the most thrilling, intoxicating way because _god_ what did he just say? Her skin burned with the heat of her blush and she watched his eyes widen before he masked his face and bent his head, croaking out a half-laugh. "Hell of an icebreaker..."

"You weren't weird," she corrected, shaky voice and all, "And I would have still wanted to know you."

Again, he shrugged in that helpless, defeated way. "I figured it wouldn't be worth it, and why bring it up when…" he trailed off, but she already knew the rest of it.

Why bring it up when she didn't even remember.

The silence commenced once more, but she wanted more.

She licked her lips, "So you've been working here for-"

"Almost six years," he continued softly, "I lied about that, before."

She nodded, so, so relieved that the conversation was able to resume. "Why?"

But he just lifted his shoulders - a shrug again - and he sat silently again, bringing her back to square one.

The silence that followed was deafening. So many questions floated through her thoughts, and so many strained memories flashed like a slideshow in her mind, a desperate attempt to remember one of their passing moments. It was just blurs here and there, never quite clear or looking at a face-

The flurry of emotions came back and at one part she was pissed, at herself, at him-everything in this damn situation. She was beyond frustrated, so confused and flustered, and still wanted more from him.

"So you never tried to talk to me before?"

He opened his mouth but seemed to be searching for the right words. "You had your own life and I had mine so I saw no point in trying to start something that didn't really….have an ending."

She looked straight into his eyes, soft but serious and watching him. "Then why did you move that chess piece?"

He froze, something swimming in his beautiful eyes that she couldn't quite .

Usagi went on anyway. "If you saw no point, why did you start something? Why did you start texting me?"

At her accusation, he shut his eyes in a defeated way. "I don't-"

"Why didn't you tell me it was you?" she cut him off and kept going. "Why could we never meet?"

His hand moved to fist into his hair, letting the strands slip out of his fingers slowly. "I-I just…"

"Did you think that I would make fun of you?"

"No nev-"

"I just want to understand why you had to do this-this whole chess stunt, saying all these things, playing me along-"

"-I was never playing you along-"

"-never wanting to meet me, and the wild goose chases - what-what about the love letters from high school?"

Usagi stopped then because his face turned so very horrified and alarmed.

He pushed it down quickly and blinked. "...l-love letters?"

The confusion fogged her mind, wondering why he reacted so much and like _that_. It wasn't something...

Oh, then the realization struck her.

Mamoru still assumed she thought it was Masao.

He never knew that she found the letters again and had pieced it together.

"The-the ones that I was given in high school," she explained, her voice softening. "The ones _you_ sent me. Even those chocolates and roses and-and the whole time I thought it was..…"

His eyes flashed but quickly he shook his head, and she frowned, the seeds of doubt manifesting quickly. What if she was wrong and it hadn't been him?

Her gut swiftly cast out the questions because no.

_No._

She _knew_ they were from him. "Mamoru it was you who sent the letters."

He clamped his mouth shut tight after that.

"I can't believe it took this long, but I finally got it a little while ago, before we stopped talking and I know it was you Mamoru," she revealed. "The handwriting of the letters then and now, and even when I think back to it, I-I don't know why I never saw it."

And that time, he didn't try to deny it. He just shut his eyes, and let his head drift down with his shoulders. "Right," his voice broke and he gulped, "Right, yeah…..yes it was me."

The flutters resonated in her chest hearing the confession.

He attempted a sad smile. "I had the biggest crush on you."

Now the flutters were replaced by loud, rapid thumps her heart was making and the warm thrill that rippled goosebumps on her skin. She couldn't stop the breathless tone in her voice when she asked. "Can you tell me about it - the letters?"

He took a deep breath, steadied himself and started.

Each tiny confession, he chipped away at, and his voice carried through it all. Sometimes his words tumbled out faster than others during certain parts, trying to get it out before his courage was spent, and other times the words were mumbled, things that he seemed to never have said out loud. It was everything he could have said.

How the letters were Motoki's idea, how easy it was for him to write the letters, the happiness he felt when he saw how her face lit up at his words and actions, how it turned horribly wrong then, how it spiraled at her birthday party, how he had come to tell her and….now, she couldn't look back at that day the same. How the guilt clawed and tore inside of him, she could feel it in the way he paused, that slight crack in his voice, and his _eyes -_ they've endured watching her fall for someone she thought was him. His eyes were the most broken part about him.

She hung onto every word, mesmerized how he kept going, that he was talking, telling her

all these bits and chunks of a story that had unfolded when her eyes were closed.

Before he even reached the end, the tears welled up. She never knew and thinking of those memories again, everything had been there and what if it had been different, what if she had found out and….it could have been different, so different.

All those little notes, the care that was placed in them, the amount of love in every word, and she never knew the real person behind it all.

"Thank you." The two gentle words slipped off her tongue before she could think about it.

He blinked, expression puzzled and taken back.

"T-thank you for the letters and the roses and-and the chocolates," she lamely amended, resisting a facepalm. How _late_ was her gratitude? And just _how_ stupid did it sound?

But it was worth it to see a ghost of a smile take ahold of his lips before it faded.

"I never said thank you," she added, biting back the tears that were threatening to slip.

"You don't have to," he said, softly. "They were just-"

"-the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me?" she cut in, an eyebrow raised but her voice breaking.

He tensed up even more, and she watched how his adam's apple bobbed. She was as nervous as he was but her nerves only fueled her further. Her hands, face, eyes laid open and eager all with that slight shake but he stayed closed up and so, so obviously nervous.

She smiled. "You're still sweet, even now with what happened. It's just crazy that we're here again…."

Panic burst through her when his eyes widened and his face contorted into complete horror. Oh god, what did she say?

"I'm not a stalker, or a creep obsessed with you or-" he rushed out.

_What?_ "W-what?" she croaked out a laugh.

He racked a palm through his hair. "I didn't plan this - seeing you again, and I-I swear I'm not a crazy person, a creepy, love-sick stalker or something. I swear I've tried to _avoid_ you this whole time…"

A small smile fought its way to her face. "I didn't think you were a stalker," she pointed out, "My friends did though."

He snorted, one corner of his mouth hitching. "I don't blame them."

She laughed and for once the silence seemed more comfortable.

He licked his lips then, and she couldn't stop from following the movement. "You still have them?"

She blinked, surprised to find him speaking first. "Have what?"

"The letters?"

A sheepish smile came upon her lips as the pads of her fingers wiped away the wetness under her lashes. "Yea, I still have them."

A flicker of emotion in his eyes and she didn't know whether to fist-bump or slam her head on the table.

He rubbed the side of his brightly flushed neck, and his other hand rested on the table. A whisper in her mind urged her to move a hand to his, thread their hands together, but _nooooo_ , that would make things even more uncomfortable.

She craved to touch him, feel him and relish in the fact he was real and he was right here and all she had to do was kick this table away and be close to him - god _what are you thinking Usagi?_

She shook her head a little, and glanced upon his stoic gaze studying the table, hands clenched into fists now, lips shut tight.

"What about-" Usagi started carefully "-what about now, Mamoru?"

His eyes flew to hers, eyebrows furrowed.

"What about the last few months?" she tried again. "The chess game, the texts, this…"

The rich, blue irises remained puzzled, and a deep frown spread across his face. "What do you mean?"

His hand relaxed, spreading against the table, tempting her fingers nearby. ' _No. Eyes up and away. Talk, Usagi.'_

"This entire time," she explained. "I wondered about you. What you thought, what you did, how you reacted to things, what you went through. I want to know, anything you're willing to say about what happened now with….that." Her head tipped to the board game that started this only a few tables away, tucked into the corner.

For a beat, his expression was blank and she felt a tightness in her throat at the haunty thought that maybe this was the moment he'll cut off the conversation, kick her out, and forget all of this ever happened. And he could have done all that before even, and she would have still understood.

His gaze turned studious and hard, but the expression fell, and instead, became tender. "To be honest, I don't even know where to start."

* * *

_Mamoru had ducked into the back to fill the mop bucket with water, and coming back out, he spied that golden hair out of the corner of his eye. Stopping in the doorway, he watched her stand before the untouched chess table, a wistful expression on her face as she gently pushed a white knight piece to a new square. For a few more beats she looked down at it, then proceeded to leave._

_Mopping floors, cleaning tables, tending to the bathrooms throughout the rest of his day, Mamoru's mind kept rewinding to that small moment at the chessboard. He thought about it so much, he often found himself at the table, observing the motionless plastic chessmen._

_Why had she moved a piece? No one ever comes to this table anymore - he did play games against co-workers on rare occasions after shifts - so why the sudden interest over a dusty, old board game?_

_He chuckled as the memory flashed in his eye, the time when he told her he was in Chess Club, and her eyes had completely lit up and the excitement had buzzed off of her. It had been so long ago and his throat tightened at that thought. That it had years since he'd last talked to her, since she had last said his name, last smiled at him, since he had known her._

_He didn't know what compelled him to move that black rook. It was a small movement and it should have meant nothing. Yet, a part of him had felt that by moving that piece, it was a silent response to her move. With no words ever exchanged, he had answered her and his heart lifted to the skies, feeling a familiar but forgotten throb in his chest, one he had tried to suppress since he was 18._

_It wasn't healthy, diving back in, finding a connection with her again, thinking about her._

_Looking down at the board, he shook his head clear._

_It was just chess. Why was he reading so much into it?_

_He left the piece in its new spot, and within a few days, other pieces were moved, and it wasn't just an innocent chess game anymore. The chess board was thoroughly surveillanced whenever she staked out at the coffee shop, apparently determined on her mission to find out who was moving the other chess pieces._

_He should have stopped moving them immediately, as soon as she started getting suspicious, but he didn't want to stop, and he'd imagine the disappointment flood her face instead of the thrill it always had when she spotted a new piece moved._

_It always stopped him, or he would convince his conscience that it was a deed for another day._

* * *

" _Did you clean that spill upstairs?"_

_Securely positioning the mop handle against the wall, Mamoru tipped his head to Wasureta's turned back. "Yea, got the sign up too."_

" _Alright."_

_Assuming that was the end of their conversation, the black-haired janitor took a step towards the exit to begin his scheduled break, but just before he stepped a foot out, he was called back._

" _Rue?"_

_Lingering in the doorway, he swiveled his head around to his manager. "Yea, what's up?"_

" _You know there was this incident today with a customer, a blonde one…"_

_Mamoru's stomach coiled into knotts. "R-really?"_

" _Yea," the man's voice was eerily calm, completely nonchalant in the conversation. "Going on and on about that old chess board in the corner, asking if we've seen anyone near it, moving the chess pieces, leaving notes…."_

_Of course Wasureta knew, he was the manager and knew all of the happenings that occured in these walls. Plus, he was the only other person who opened in the mornings with him._

" _W-what did you tell her?" he asked, swallowing the lump stuck in his throat._

_Finishing whatever he was doing on the counter, Wasureta turned to face him, a look of frustration painted over his young features. "Well I_ didn't _tell her that I've seen you do it," he informed, "So you can calm down."_

_The deepest, most relieved sigh escaped Mamoru's lips, along with all the tension in his body. "Okay…"_

" _You're lucky I'm the only one who knows," Wasureta said, "Yuko and Momoto would have folded on you so quick."_

_A dry chuckle fell out of his mouth, and a short pause followed it, so Mamoru attempted another exit in vain._

" _Why the secrecy?"_

_Making a clean getaway was out of the option obviously. "What do you mean?"_

_A deep frown came upon his manager's face. "I mean why don't you just talk to the girl. If you like her, ask her out or something. She seems really sweet."_

_The mere idea being said out loud gave him goosebumps on his arms, shivers up and down his spine, and a small sweat breaking out on his forehead. "Uh no, no I-I can't. I don't."_

" _Righhhtt," Wasureta drawed out, an eyebrow arched in suspicion, "So this mysterious chess player persona you're creating is….is just for fun?"_

" _No, no….not exactly."_

_Wasureta slowly nodded, but still wore a face of confusion. "So what are you doing then?"_

" _It's nothing-nothing you need to worry about."_

" _Rue, I've seen you move those chess pieces and leave those little notes and judging by the way this girl is reacting," his face softened then, turning much more sympathetic, "I think you need to create a better form of communication because clearly this isn't nothing. Plus she'll probably catch you one day with the notes."_

_Mamoru nodded his head. "I know."_

_Gazing up, a relief flooded the janitor when Wasureta's half smile emerged. "Go, I've kept you away from your break long enough," the dark-haired manager commanded softly._

" _Thank you," he replied, and finally exited the backroom._

_He thought back to that suggestion, however, when he was sitting at a table, nursing a cup of black coffee. This note communication he had created with her was risky, at best, and there needed to be an alternative way to contact her._

_It came to him, but he dismissed it hurriedly, afraid he might actually go through it upon further discussion. And it kept popping up and he kept foolishly considering it, even listed the pros and cons of such an action. She wouldn't be able to trace it to him, there was no conceivable way, right?_

_The more and more Mamoru pondered the idea, the more it grew traction in his thoughts, and in reality. No harm, really._

_He easily pulled out a slip of paper from his backpack, nestled in his work locker. It was small, but large enough to print out a single, dangerous message._

" _My only rules are that you never directly ask for my name and that you never call me. Break either rules, and our game of chess ends. If you really want to get to know me, then I can't stop you blondie._

_(080) 197-5330_

_I want to get to know you too."_

_And before the split second of courage could abandon him, he dropped the note into the compartment, and walked away._

* * *

_His medical textbooks were propped open, notebooks filled with elebroate terminology, pencils, pens rolling this way and that way, but all of it was forgotten to him as his eyes only saw the lit screen of his phone, waiting for the end of the typing on the other end of the conversation._

" _ **Yes. I have."**_

_He sighed, a relieved smile breaking but that nasty, faint voice in his head that kept repeating such selfish things._

"Have you?"

_His studies disappeared from his mind as the recopicated question struck him._

_Their conversations, at the most, had been innocent, harmless, just simple question-answer interactions. She danced the thin line of asking questions, nothing too personal but still, a bit too specific. And he played along because he loved talking to her, their back and forth so effortless and easy, no awkwardness or promises, just simple talking. He couldn't get enough of it, silently reading the responses in her voice, the pitched inflections coming naturally. Sometimes, the subjects became heavy, then light, and sometimes the kind of conversations that you couldn't really describe into words._

_Even in this persona - almost an alter ego now because he wouldn't dream of saying these things in person - Mamoru answered her curious questions truthfully since that way, to him, it kept their words real and raw._

" _ **Yes, I was once."**_

* * *

_Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot...that's all he could think of as he raced down the stairs. Panic consumed every inch of him as he blindly fumbled through the bustling crowds._

_A vibration. "Are you here?"_

" _ **I like coffee, how could I not show up?"**_ _he texted back immediately, bumping into someone and repeatedly apologizing as a result._

_It could have been all over, this mistake-this addiction of his could have been kicked if he had just let her go. And it wasn't really his fault, he_ had _to intervene. He_ had _to tell her, he had no choice….right?_

_Finally Mamoru reached the chess table, moving one of his rooks and remembering the notes, he slipped a piece of paper from his pocket (hopefully Wasureta hadn't noticed the missing notepad from the supplies yet) and he scribbled down the most cleverest line he could think of in two seconds._

" _Catch me if you can Blondie."_

_He rolled his eyes at the words but nevertheless stuffed the note into the same spot and darted._

" _Hey how's the-"_

" _Fine, great," Mamoru interrupted Wasureta as he shuffled into the backroom._

" _Uh, okay," he said, "Did you finally decide to woo your chess partner?"_

_Mamoru shook his head sharply while untying his apron. "No."_

_Wasureta spun around. "What?! Why? And don't give me the 'she won't like me once she sees' bull, because we both know that's not the-hey where are yo-!"_

_Mamoru had already slipped on his wool jacket and slung his bag around his shoulder. "You guys have enough people, my shift's done, and I have a research paper that's due next week. I'm punching out."_

" _You're not even going to buy the girl a coffee?" Wasu called out desperately as Mamoru headed out the door, stopping with half his body out the door, the other half still inside._

_Leave, just leave. His brain practically shouted the words and yet his body was moving to the opposite direction, drifting back inside the shop. And after a quick flourish of a marker, Mamoru handed over a paper cup - 'Blondie' adorning the side - to his manager._

" _Get her a hot chocolate on me," he said, a sad smile on his lips._

_And he left the shop, shooting her the most jackass-sounding text he could think while hopping on the bus._ " _ **You missed."**_

_It was later into the night, after he was able to calm her down - talking and reassuring her that this meant something to him, it wasn't just a game - he realized how deep he was in._

_Here he was again, entangled in this lie he created and tonight he could have ended it, the opportunity was right there for him to stop this with her before it reached its inevitable ending. And he already knew that every outcome possible involved heartbreak._

_Yet, here he was, still stringing her along, talking through this 'Chess Boy' persona._

_He knew this, his mind wanted him to end it sooner than later, and so he should listen to his logical, reliable brain, the one that always guided him._

_But for a rare moment in his life, Mamoru was following his heart._

_He_ should _stop talking to her, but he didn't_ want _to._

_It was so selfish, and tonight when he texted her, revealing that 'Chess Boy' wasn't in fact her sleazy date, a relief swept his body._

_A relief that meant he would still get her emoji filled good morning texts, still ask her how her day was going and hear how boring she thought her lectures were, to get those little flutters when her contact name popped up on his screen, to hear her thoughts, to ask her things that he never could in person._

_To believe - to pretend - for just one minute each day that it was real, she knew it was him and everything was perfect. He would allow reality to crash down around him once that minute was over, but every day, everything was worth it for that single minute of warm, weightless emotion._

_He loved talking to her, loved the ease and lighthearted feeling that consumed him like nothing else ever._

_After connecting his phone to the charging port, Mamoru fell onto his dark bedsheets, staring up to the ceiling with a small, sad smile._

_Of course the day when they would send their last texts to each other would eventually arrive and then he would have to learn to move on again, to try and start a blank slate, if that were still possible._

_A sinking feeling crept up in the pit of his stomach thinking about that upcoming final day they would have, but he could at least find solace in one thing._

_That day was not today._

* * *

"I couldn't stop myself from responding to you, even if I knew it was wrong that I was lying and pretending to be someone I wasn't," he went on, voice surprisingly steady and gaze unwavering as he looked to her.

Her eyes were the best way to see what was going through her head. How she reacted to each word, every emotion that tore through her at every recollection he had.

Wide, attentive blue eyes that never stopped watching him. It was because of those expecting eyes that he was able to even find his voice, relax just that tiny bit. His heartbeat still thundered in his chest but it served as a weird, comforting push of adrenaline.

"When you sent that last text wanting to know who I was," he paused, biting his lip, "I realized I needed to stop talking to you. I let it come too far and I had to move on."

Her eyes dimmed, perhaps from remembering that moment and she nodded, listening. A variety of expressions had passed her eyes the last few minutes, and bright smiles appeared here and there at special details or sometimes her lips parted instead.

He sighed. "And it worked, we stopped talking..."

Recalling all these moments, the same fluttering feelings bubbled back up and the idea this could work out popped into his thoughts again. That maybe she would want this-she would want him, just him.

The words tumbled out without pause, but he reached a point where he _really_ should have stopped.

"….then Motoki basically forced me to go to that restaurant-"

Oh, she reacted to _that_. "Woah woah woah woah…."

His entire body froze, and he pulled his gaze down to the table but he could still feel her eyes burning into him like two intense, livid lasers.

God, _no_. Take it back, take it back.

"What do you mean…..the restaurant and Motoki," she whispered, not looking at him anymore but rather the table with a deep look of concentration.

Take it back, take it back. _Take_. _It_. _Back_. "No, no, nothing. My mistake, I wasn't-"

"The r-restaurant and Motoki, the date," she muttered, ignoring him and he could practically envision the little wires connecting in her head.

"That-that amazing friend Motoki was talking about, how….no, no, no…" she rapidly blinked, disbelief filtering through her until she stilled and gaped at him. "It was _you_."

_Deny it_? No, no, no-no more lies.

"Yes," he uttered ashamedly.

She openly stared at him in disbelief. "I ca-can't believe..." Usagi trailed off quietly.

Mamoru almost fell out of his seat at the loud screech the chair created against the floor when she rammed it back and promptly stood up, posture stiff and rigid while her electric blue eyes were suddenly on fire and aimed straight at him. "YOU STOOD ME UP!"

"I-uh wasn't-" he stumbled, stunned.

"You left me there by myself for _an hour and a half_!"

He flinched. "I know-"

"An hour and a half Mamoru!" she screeched. "That was so humiliating!"

"I...I know-I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"What?! It didn't enter your mind to cancel the date _before_ I got there?!" she bellowed. "Hell, you could have canceled even when I was there, but like within ten minutes would have been nice. Not an hour and a half later!"

She was absolutely right. He really should have.

"I inhaled three servings of chocolate mousse because of you," she hissed, leaning across the table.

Mamoru tipped back in his chair a little, a little scared for what would come next. "Wait Usagi-"

"You stood me up!" she repeated, eyes wide.

"Yes," he admitted with a cringe.

"Why?!"

"I-" he paused, "I….I don't know. I was ready and there and I saw you sitting at the table waiting-"

He must have said something wrong.

Suddenly, she grew still, her eyes wide.

"You were there." Her eyes narrowed and her tone unreadable. "You actually came to the restaurant and saw me."

"Uh…" He really should just shut up.

She buried her face in her hands and slid her fingers to her temples. "You actually came there-you were at the restaurant and you still stood me up," she said slowly and carefully as if she thought she had misheard him.

"Y-yes, I did," he said quietly.

She sat there silently for a few seconds until her eyes popped open wide.

"Wait, the guy who gave me the roses," she tried to recall, rubbing her forehead. "He was wearing a mask but he had blue….."

' _You're so screwed.'_ He sunk in his seat, awaiting her realization.

"That-that-THAT WAS YOU!? THAT WAS YOU TOO!"

"Uh-"

"What the hell?!"

"I know."

"What the hell!"

"It was horrible I know."

"Oh my god of course it was you-ho-how was it you?!"

"Well-"

"No, no, no. You know what, I'd rather not know."

He shut his mouth and nodded.

She sighed, disbelieving. "It was you, you were right in front of me, always you."

A snort blew out of her nose then a few giggles and-

Laughing, she really started laughing.

He became only more freaked out.

"I'm sorry," she managed to get out around her laughs. "It's just all of this is so-so-"

"Weird?"

"Yea kind of but also hilarious and unbelieveable," she added, grinning. "You know like this kind of stuff is so not my life."

"Oh, I-I'm sorry."

"No, I don't mean it in a bad way," she corrected.

He blinked, confused. "Oh."

She shrugged, smile disappearing. "Yea, well I guess getting stood up is sort of my life to be fair."

He became horrified, unnerved at her words. "You don't deserve that. I'm sorry, you never deserved that. I was scared and a coward to not face you, I'm sorry for-"

"What?"

"I'm not someone who would stand _you_ up, ever. I couldn't-"

"Woah, woah Mamoru, I didn't mean you, I'm sorry, " she interrupted, realizing. "You had a reason to not meet me in a way and that's okay."

"Still doesn't justify it."

"But it's really okay," she assured, that soft, cheeky smile growing, "I still had a fun night with your card at least."

He did chuckle a little even if he did lose his ability to breathe for a few seconds after first seeing his account the next day.

"So see everything worked out," she cheered, throwing her hands up in a 'ta-da' gesture.

He furrowed his eyebrows, thinking. "I guess...you're right. I still have to apologize."

"Don't say that," she bellowed. "We're both idiots that have made mistakes."

"I was the idiot that started this-"

"Actually I started it first-"

"Usagi-"

"I moved the piece first so I started it first," she stated proudly. "Ha."

He licked his lips and bit his lower lip to fight the smile curling his mouth. "Fine, but I turned it into what it was because of selfish reasons."

She tilted her head a bit. "I don't think it was selfish."

He turned his head away. "It was, believe me."

He swallowed hard, tried to breathe knowing her gaze was pinning him down.

"Everything I did-" he lost his nerve and ran trembling fingers through his hair.

"I just wanted to-" his gaze never dared to meet hers this time "-talk to you."

"Talk to me?" Usagi repeated, eyebrows scrunched together.

"Yes," he answered, raking a hand through his hair again, "That's all I've wanted to do since I met you. Talk to you and be around you, like everybody was at high school, the Crown - here now at the coffee shop...everywhere."

His eyebrows knitted together, suddenly concentrated. "That first day, at the arcade, when Motoki wanted me to finally meet the funniest, kindest, most 'awesome' girl he knew and he took me to your table, all your friends were around you and I think..." his voice cracked in a small laugh, "I think I was doomed the second you said 'Hi, I'm Usagi Tsukino.'"

She flushed, felt the heat blossom on her face, down her neck and chest. And her heart got even louder to a very unsafe point. Her lips parted and lifted into a smile, thinking back to that meeting - _she could thankfully count on her memory for something_ \- and remembered how she thought Motoki's friend was so adorably shy, greeting each of them so quietly and she remembered his eyes, how wide they were when she shook his quivering hand.

She wanted to reach through time and space just to slap past Usagi at how _oblivious_ she had been.

"I had a crush on you for maybe three years, after that," he continued, and still his look was towards the table, "I told myself that it wasn't anything to deal with, that the feelings would go away eventually? But I kept seeing you at the arcade, at school, and I think…...I don't remember when it turned into something more than just a silly crush."

Mamoru let his voice trail off at the end, amazed at how he was able to go on for so long with his pulse pumping out of his neck.

And again, he was shocked that he somehow still continued with every logical part in his mind screaming for him to stop speaking. "Do you remember that one time when Motoki had assigned tutoring sessions during lunch? I think it was during your-"

"-first year," she finished, a soft, knowing smile gracing her face. "During lunch, you would either sit with the rest of the science club or, you would sit by yourself. I remember."

He nodded his head, but didn't make the slightest move to meet her gaze. "Yea, usually I would just keep to myself, read one of my books, eat, and leave as quickly as possible. That was….that was lunch for me."

He paused, and Mamoru pooled all of the confidence he could recover and _finally_ , looked up to meet the shining azure depths that lit up upon contact. "That was lunch until you started sitting with me."

He forced himself to keep looking, to watch the blush flare up across her skin and recognize the fond look she had, and even though it caused the thumping in his ears to get louder, he kept looking. "You sat across from me, setting up your lunch and saying hi to me, like it was an everyday thing that Usagi Tsukino sat at your lunch table, like it was normal….and I seriously thought you might have been confused or lost or maybe you were dared to, I-I don't know."

"But you kept showing up," he uttered, seemingly confused at his own words. "I thought maybe it was pity, then, that you sitting with me was because of Motoki and you felt bad, but why show up so many times if it was just pity. And why would you try to talk to me, why share your onigiri with me, why try so hard if it was just…."

He swallowed down the lump, closing his eyes, only to open them again to his lap. "I finally realized on the last day. You had brought one of your favorite mangas and suggested that we switch reading materials for the period. I was reading something about time traveling siblings and sorcerers and you tried reading "Sense and Sensibility" I think. You said that a book with no pictures was not a book you could understand, and I laughed."

The smile tugged at his mouth but he wouldn't let it through, a stronger tug was happening at his heart. "The biggest smile happened on your face, and you kept making jokes, kept having that _look_ every time I laughed or smiled. And when the period was over-"

* * *

" _Well, the math death bells ring," Usagi deadpanned, but broke into a smile as she walked over to his side of the table. "Thanks for giving my manga a chance. I swear it grows on you!"_

_It was probably a mere five second embrace, but it felt like a century had passed before he could properly interact. An emotion too heavy, too unfamiliar had built up in his chest and his mind was too overloaded with her proximity to understand what it was._

" _I'll see you next week, same time, same place Chiba-san," she farewelled while walking backwards, "And I hope your smile and laugh are going to make more appearances!"_

_She winked at the end before twirling around and disappearing out the door, and it wasn't until she was out of sight, her presence no longer lingering, that every single damn thing came down crashing for him and the unfamiliar emotion that had been lodged inside his chest was no longer in his chest, but instead his stomach, his mind, around his heart._

* * *

"I think that's when I admitted it, to myself," Mamoru breathed. "I don't know why that day, why it was _that,_ that finally made it - real? Why all those feelings burst then, and not sooner or later. I just knew that I couldn't come back to that lunch table anymore, I couldn't sit across from you and pretend that I didn't love your smile, or your laugh, or your attempts at lame jokes, or that crinkle you get in between your eyebrows when you don't get stuff, or how you inhale your lunch, or the fact that you don't know how easy it is to see what you're feeling by just looking at your eyes-"

How was he supposed to explain himself? Are there even words in any language he knows that could fully express his tangled emotions, the crazy fluttering in his chest, the spinning in his stomach, or the sheer euphoria that overloaded his senses when he would see her?

"I couldn't act like I wasn't in love with you."

His heart was beating out of his chest, and it wasn't until he said the last word that he realized, that he finally did it.

He told her, no matter how anticlimactic it had been. Years of keeping it sealed in, the words came out, from his lips.

Feeling those strings of confidence returning, Mamoru dared to look up, bracing himself for whatever grim expression she was wearing.

But there was nothing grim about her wide, glassy eyes, or the translucent tear that glided down her cheek. Her smile was captivating, slow, at the same time amazed at what was said. His heart tightened.

"Ever since I saw you again, all those things came up again," he admitted, and he hated how his voice broke, "I wanted you to recognize me so bad, I hoped maybe with one look you'd realize, and we could talk and become friends or something…."

He licked his lips, regaining focus to what happened, not what _could have_ happened. "But, you never did."

Usagi's face dropped, and now she was looking down, breaking their eye contact, a breaking ache shuddering in her body.

His insides twisted painfully, and it was over her pain, not his. "I accepted it and I tried to move on and I _tried_ to avoid you here, I d-dated, I let Motoki set me up with anyone, I focused on school work, I-I ignored you completely. I did everything I could to give up on you and move on."

"I guess there was a part of me that never could and-" he sighed, heavy and low through his nose "-moving that chess piece, I saw it as a second chance. A stupid, second chance but, I still took it."

"And so I was 'Chess Boy'. I've never been great at talking and I guess it was easier, talking to you that _way_?" he said, eyebrows quirking in an adorable way to her. "It was easier this way. I got the chance to ask things I never could ask in person, without any pressure or expectations. And I realized it was like it was happening all over again."

Her look became confused, and she peeked up to clash blue against blue once more. "All over again?"

He hesitated in answering, running a hand down his face before opening his mouth, then closing it, only to open it again. "Falling for you again," he answered, quietly, a louder blush appearing, "Except doing it a second time, it was somehow worse."

"Whenever I saw my phone light up, it's like everything in _me_ lit up, and shut down at the same time, and when I saw you here, when I talked to you..." he paused, licking his lips, and staring at the table, his mind scrambling to find words. "I never knew you could feel every emotion-that you could feel _so_ much emotion just by seeing someone."

She felt her heart soaring, a new kind of hope pouring into her because those emotions - those sensations he described - they were happening to her right now as she looked at him.

"You can feel so happy, thrilled beyond belief, floating on complete ecstasy," he continued quietly, swallowing thick and unsteady, "Then it's so scary, also. It's insane, you know it's unhealthy to feel like this, to need someone like this and you can't _fucking_ stop it. You try everything and in the end you feel worse than before. You feel broken, alone and suddenly it gets so insane, you get so consumed in this impossible dream, and you believe you can't-you can't-"

"-breathe," Usagi finished, a soft smile rising to her lips, "without them."

Her heart pounded seeing that surprised look in his deep eyes, a blue flicker of hope that lifted her heart higher and smile wider. "Yea, I think I know."

A quick transition occured in those dark depths, one moment a look of shock, maybe even a gleam of belief he was afraid to let in, but then it turned all hard, frightened, flustered and she was right where they started with him looking everywhere but her.

"Yea," he sighed. Silence filled the air around them and even if not a sound was made, it hurt her ears.

She felt guilty for wanting more, to hear what else was running through his mind, had the utter most need to hear anything he was willing to talk about. So guilty to ask such a thing after everything he had - _hesitantly_ \- shared. She wanted more, craved more, anything to push back the end, anything to keep him here, talking to her.

Panic flooded her mind when she caught the slightest scratches of his chair pushing back. The bitter taste built up and she felt so, so, so wrong for doing it but a part of her mind switched off.

She blurted out the first thing that came to her. "Impossible dream?!"

Mamoru's confused gaze flew to her wild one.

"Your impossible dream," she repeated, confident, curious, "Why do you think it's impossible?"

He started, never expecting such a question. Eyebrows knitted together, he thought for a second and his next words sent her for a spin this time. "Do you know the Schrödinger's cat experiment?"

The bewilderment etched on her face must have been clear as day.

"It was a thought experiment in the physics field," he explained, "Schrödinger placed a cat in a box that had some radioactive substance. He argued that as long as you didn't look in the box, the cat could be considered both dead and alive, because you couldn't know for sure until you opened the box and looked."

Usagi narrowed her eyes in confusion. "Ummm...ok?" she hesitated, wondering how suddenly dead cats and boxes were being thrown into the conversation.

He nodded. "That's what I mean by my impossible dream being impossible."

Attempting a half smile, he went on with the saddest, most vulnerable expression in his eyes that hit her like a brick wall. "If I never touch the box, If I never look inside, I can keep pretending that my dream is still possible. I can still have hope, I can still dream, even though in the back of my mind, I know what's really waiting for me in the box."

Her throat got tight, dry, and she knew the tears were starting to glide along the edge of her eyes and couldn't fucking stop them even if she tried.

"I knew that once I met you, when I told you the truth," he trailed off quietly, looking to continue, "The box would be open, and I would know that the dream - any hope - would be over. I know you wouldn't want me. You never did after all."

"Wait, what-"

"It wasn't a huge shocker obviously," he continued. "I had already worked out that I wasn't the most perfect person."

' _You were better than perfect_.' The words were clawing to come out of her mouth but Usagi felt her throat tighten with fear over the kind of reaction they would bring and they wouldn't form.

He squeezed his eyes shut, and a bright blush spread again along his skin, just as it was dying out. "I'm pretty sure I sound like a pathetic, creepy stalker but I swear I never…" His hands sprung onto his forehead and into his hair.

Something inside of her sparked alive, and it screamed at her. Without a second of hesitation, she slid out of her chair and made the small steps to kneel right beside him.

Her fingers fluttered under his frozen gaze, as they gently wrapped around his wrists. His skin felt warm and soothing under her fingertips and she couldn't resist outlining miniscule circles on it. She was sure an unspoken boundary had been broken, but touching him - something just as simple as the skin on his wrists and arms - was absolutely exhilarating for her.

A reassurance that he was here, real, and the bittersweet realization almost brought forth tears and a smile, all at the same time.

His hands relaxed into hers, but they shook.

"Usagi."

She took a breath and craned her head up to meet his gaze up close, emotions swimming in his eyes that took the breath away.

It became so many things; confused, stunned, vulnerable, and then very anxious.

"The box is open now, right?" she said, her eyebrow hitched. His hands remained in hers, she moved them and slipped their fingers into place, interlocking them together. "Is the dream over?"

He just stared at her, surprised with his lips parted.

She pushed down the fear and the voices saying 'no' in her head, and she leaned forward, coming even closer to his eyes and shaky breaths. He didn't move, but kept staring at her.

"Tell me to stop-" she whispered, her breath brushing against the skin of his cheek, "-if it is."

More words formed on the tip of her tongue. But this sudden, fearless courage that was taking over her instead had her leaning forward even further, pushing herself up, and placed a barely there kiss on his cheek, and his head moved just a little in her direction. Her lips dragged themselves to drop another kiss on just the corner of his mouth, catching a part of his lips and it thrilled her when he continued to turn his head until their noses were touching. His eyes were right there, intense, wide, and so dark that it made her bolder and come that inch closer until _just barely_ she brushed his lips.

It was that final chance to back out, move away from her but he didn't move except his lower lip may have dropped a little bit more as she finally pressed their lips together.

It was slow, tentative, when he sighed into her lips. Her legs screaming in pain, Usagi released his hands and slid her freed hands against his jaw then through the hair on the back of his neck, gently pulling his head down to fully press their lips together and relieve the differing heights.

He hesitated, responding to her moves, trembling with her hands on his face and in his hair and his own hands wrapping around her elbows. His little gasp when she traced the line between his lips with her tongue. She savored his taste, the shuddering, soft hair falling through her fingers, everything felt perfect and in place, and this was it, this was _everything_ she could possibly need...

It was so easy to believe it, to let it continue because that feeling of burning, spinning euphoria drowned him, along with the lovely smell of vanilla and cinnamon.

It was gentle, soft although passionate as well, for those few seconds of contact.

Even as he parted his lips for her, becoming completely content for the first time in months against her mouth….it wasn't really real, was it?

It was all because of lies and deception that they had found themselves here. Not because of anything else and he couldn't do this to her.

Years after first kissing her - his first kiss - he wondered if he ever got a second chance, would he finally tell her the words that have forever been frozen in his throat. Would he have the courage to tell her and be able to kiss her.

Instead, in a cruel twist of fate, _he_ was the one to pull away this time, regaining his breath and straightening his own sense of mind and thundering heart. "Usagi."

Her lips chased after his but her eyes fluttered open and she retreated as soon as it was clear that he wasn't reciprocating anymore.

"I'm sorry that-that was too fast, you're right," she reassured, a nervous smile fixed on her lips as she steadied herself, staying much too close to him still.

"No, it…" he started but became lost on where to go, how to follow with the words that would make him hate himself forever, to destroy the one chance he'll never get again. This was what he had always wanted and yet he was throwing it away because somehow it was impossible to let himself be happy and open.

"I-I can't do this," he croaked out, quietly into the silence. "Not with you, not like this."

She blinked, concern forming on her face. "What?"

Mamoru fumbled a bit but pushed the chair back, causing her to stretch back to her full height and look after him as he stood and paced back and forth a little, opening and closing his mouth.

"Mamoru," she called so softly that it broke him even more as she tried to step closer to him.

"I-"

Her eyes were so confused and concerned watching him.

"I don't want this," he said, observing how her eyes fell and grew so scared now. "I don't want you like this. I can't…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So don't hate me for leaving you guys on another cliffhanger! (And sorry it was long but I know some of you guys like long chapters so your welcome if you liked the length? lol) The second half is getting there and I'm going to try really hard to get out as soon as possible! I have a new job, school responsibilities, and several different things I'm currently in the process of planning in my life so I'm busy to say the least lol
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read the new chapter and stuck around! (and thank you to Flora AGAIN for helping me with your advice, comments, and writing guidance on this chapter! 3 3 3) I hope you guys enjoyed and tell me what you thought!

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapters are gonna be posted in a bit!!


End file.
